Superbowl Party, Greenpoint Style

I suspect it is safe to speculate that a number of the people reading this post are busy getting ready for this weekend’s Superbowl festivities. While I think it is pretty neat that New York made it this year, I am not big on sports and will probably find some other way to amuse myself. The way I see it, there are more than enough people here in the Garden Spot to celebrate on my behalf. What’s more, the party has already begun!

Or maybe it never ended?

For all I know this could be a holdover from Superbowl XXV.

This might sound silly, but wouldn’t it be a lot easier (and cheaper) if they bought one LARGE bottle of Jack Daniels instead of fifteen smaller ones? Of course I simply might be missing something.

I do not think placing cabinetry in a busy thoroughfare is a good idea, but clearly they think otherwise. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Green Street

This has got to be one of the oddest juxtapositions I have ever seen. Seriously.

Who knew Ron Paul was so punk rock? Silly me. I thought he was merely a Libertarian nut job.

Oh wait, that’s being redundant. Nevermind.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Cavalade: Volume I

A long time ago a coworker (Queens ex-pat) of my father warned me about the dangers of New York City:

When it’s warm they come out. The weirdos and the freaks. Be careful.

Little did this woman know that I am both a weirdo and a freak. That’s the only reason I can muster as to why I take pride in patronizing the G train. And the G train I have patronized a lot of late.

Sure I have to wait— AND WAIT— on occasion, but my fellow Crosstowners make this an enjoyable experience by annotating and/or collaging subway posters. Here is today’s offering from Greenpoint Avenue.

I hate post 9/11 cinematic apocalyptic New York City schlock. Is this really the best Hollywood can do? Really. If it is, god help us all.

But at least I can sleep safe at night knowing Mr. Sta-Puft is ready, willing and able to beat down Cloverfield monster ass.

Miss Heather

Stick Out Your Can, Here Comes The Garbage Man!

One task I thoroughly detest is housework. For this reason I cannot fathom what it must be like to earn one’s living by picking up other people’s garbage. Hell, picking up Mr. Heathers skivvies off the floor and placing them in the laundry hamper is sufficient cause to make my blood boil.

And so the age old question goes: hoe does one make this dirty, but necessary, more enticing? Well, yesterday on Meserole Avenue I learned the fine chaps at Mr. Rubbish have found the answer!

Festoon the front of your truck with a jaunty license plate, a slew of plush animals and a grim reaper.

But don’t stop there! Toss in Bert from Sesame Street and an American flag for good measure. No wonder the gents manning this truck were smiling: this hearse for human detritus exudes nothing but sunshine! If you have a lot of trash— and I mean A LOT— who should you call? Mr. Rubbish, that’s who!

Not only will they cheerfully remove it from your premises, but the neighbors will fondly remember the sight of Baby Bugs, Daffy and Sylvester for years to come.

Mr Rubbish: they make demolition clean outs fun!

Miss Heather

TO DO THIS WEEK: Poetry Reading

Earlier this week I received an email from a fellow Greenpointer named Katy about an event slated for today, January 31. She writes:

I… thought you might be interested in this huge poetry reading taking place at East Coast Aliens this Thursday. Seven independent literary publishers of emerging prominence have united to host Steal This Reading, a night of readings by 15 poets spanning immanent figures of innovative poetry such as MacArthur Fellowship winner C.D. Wright (Copper Canyon) and Eleni Sikelianos (Coffee House) to new stars such as Graham Foust (Flood) and Joyelle McSweeney (Fence).

Steal This Reading: a Brooklyn Book Burning
with C.D. Wright, Eleni Sikelianos, Graham Foust, Joyelle McSweeney, Joshua Marie Wilkinson, Julie Doxsee, Max Winter, Adam Clay, Zachary Schomburg, Morgan Lucas Schuldt, Lily Brown, Rauan Klassnik, Cindy Savett, Jon Thompson, Melanie Hubbard hosted by Black Ocean, Cannibal Books, Free Verse Editions, Kitchen Press, Octopus, Tarpaulin Sky Press & Typo.

East Coast Aliens
216 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Doors open at 7:00 p.m. and $6 buys you admission and two drinks. What a deal! For more information about this event and its participants, click here and you’ll be directed to East Coast Alien’s web site.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Manhattan Avenue

Yesterday Pardon Me For Asking had a rather neat post about spotting a “see-through” truck in Greenpoint. The title of this post was “See-Through Truck In Greenpoint. Explanation Please.” Although the mystery behind this machine has since been solved, I’d still like to tender my explanation:

It’s Greenpoint.

I am often asked why I choose to live in a neighborhood that sits atop 17-30 million gallon oil spill, sports no direct access to Manhattan and is home to the eastern seaboard’s largest sewage treatment plant. It is an understandable question to posit and I have often asked it of myself. Having had the time to think about it I can finally give an intelligent answer:

1. Oil Spills, the Crosstown Local and the smell of sewage keep away a certain caliber of person I do not want to have as neighbors. If you are wondering precisely what “kind” of people I am talking about, board the Coney Island bound F train and exit at 7th Avenue.
2. Entertainment.

Truth be told it is mostly point number two. I have lived in a number of places but none of them have made me mutter “What the fuck?” to myself as much as good old Greenpoint. Have you ever seen a piece of cauliflower suspended from a strangely Medieval-looking rack being transported on the flat bed of a truck? I didn’t think so. It may be stinky. It may at times be downright ugly, but this neighborhood continues to amaze and amuse me to this day. Which beings me to today’s Photo du Jour:

The “See-Through truck” (as cool as it is) doesn’t hold a candle compared to this bad boy. This truck is so hardcore it eats Hondas (and Park Slopers) for dinner.

Miss Heather

Looking For A Place to Sleep This Week?

If so, I have some very good news for you. I discovered not just one, but TWO places you can hang your hat!

First up, the St. Nicholas Neighborhood Preservation Corporation will be hosting a candle light vigil and sleep out at 202 Franklin Street tomorrow, January 30th starting at 6:30 p.m.

For those of you who are not in the know 202 Franklin Street caught fire nearly four years ago. Despite numerous demonstrations, making light of their plight at last year’s town hall meeting and the property being sold several times the necessary repairs needed to enable these rent-stabilized tenants (many of whom have lived here much longer than myself or most of the people reading this for that matter) to move back home have yet to get made. Inasmuch as I hate to get “preachy”, I want each and every person reading this to consider the following: how would you feel if you were driven out of your apartment by a fire and had to wait this long for the landlord (or in this case, landlords) to do the right thing and make repairs?

Not everyone in Greenpoint can afford to simply pick up and move. (Those of us who can should consider themselves very, very lucky.) What’s more, these people shouldn’t have to. As tenants they have rights under the law which should be enforced. If you agree with the previous statement (or simply want to learn more about 202 Franklin Street), please swing by tomorrow’s demonstration and let your voice be heard.

Vigil and Sleep Out
202 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

There are two things I love about Greenpoint (and Greenpointers):

1. We have big hearts.
2. We are a very diverse lot this is what makes our community so cool.

And in the spirit of point #2 I bring you today’s second place to get a good night’s sleep. It invites diversity, albeit of a slightly different caliber.

I found the above flier at The Garden last night. As you can tell, none of the tabs have been ripped off. The reason for this is very simple: asking $1,100 a month for a furnished room (with a murphy bed, no less) IS a rip-off. Not content with merely perusing this printed solicitation, I checked out their ad on Craigslist as well*. Here are some highlights:

Alternative to the Hostel Blues!! Short-Term Furnished Room in House

1 room left, available for move-in February 1st. $1100/month – gas, electric, and wireless internet included. Tired of paying way too much for way too little? Here you can have your own private room, plus shared access to a huge kitchen (vegetarian friendly), living room, bathroom (!— Ed. Note) & backyard for about the same or less than you’d pay at a hostel in one of NY’s most intriguing up-and-coming neighborhoods! Short-term monthly housing OK. Great for English language students or vacationers in New York City for a couple of months or more. International students (Korean, Japanese, European, etc.) all OK…

Great location in Greenpoint! Minutes away from trendy Williamsburg or Manhattan’s Lower East Side. You can find laundromats, eclectic restaurants, video stores, fun bars, and just about anything you want within a few blocks.

House: A beautiful and large (especially for New York) pre-war house. On the first level is the living room, a half bathroom, and a large bright kitchen which is fully equipped. On the second floor are 4 bedrooms and a bathroom with a skylight and beautiful clawfoot tub. There are hardwood floors throughout the house and it gets plenty of light. We also have a backyard! The place is shabby-chic, clean, and a peaceful sanctuary not far from the excitement of NYC.

Room: The last remaining available room (emphasis mine— Ed. Note) is New York-sized (translation = small), but is very well organized and has everything you’ll need for your stay. It is a cozy room with a Murphy bed that folds up into the wall when not in use, to maximize the space. It has a large window and is nice & quiet. There is a built-in closet system.

It also goes on to say your new landlords (inn keepers?) are “laid-back, friendly and responsible people who have full-time jobs” and “celebrate diversity and would love to open our home to our friends in the international community”.

Having not met these people I will take them at their word. I do, however, have some very serious issues with their advertisement:

1. Their ad copy does not sound so much like an apartment share than a hotel or SRO.
   1. A comparison to a hostel was used not once, but twice.
   2. Why the emphasis on “short term”? If one were to rent (or sublet) a room wouldn’t a long term tenant be more attractive? Not only would you have the prospect of sustained monthly income, but you will probably attract a more responsible type of client. Just a thought.
2. Of course I am assuming this deal is on the “up and up”— and it probably isn’t. Do the people who are soliciting this room for rent own or rent the house in question?
   1. If it is the former, are they reporting the income?
   2. If it is the latter, is their landlord aware of this arrangement? I doubt it.
3. $1,100/month “rent” is a draconian amount of money to demand for a small room with a murphy bed. Even in Greenpoint.

Do I think someone should be able to rent a bedroom in his or her apartment, e.g.; an apartment share? YES, ABSOLUTELY. Should someone be able to lease rooms in his/her house in a manner more in keeping with a hotel (and in all probability making a tidy profit in so doing)? Absolutely NOT. There are hotels and then there are houses. Hotels are built and operated to manage transient populations, a house is not.

While I am fully aware this neighborhood is becoming less and less affordable nowadays, this advertisement (and what it proposes) is not only ridiculous but it also lowers the quality of life for everyone involved, tenants (be they foreign nationals or otherwise), landlords and neighbors alike. My advice: if you’re looking for a cheap place to stay go to the Greenpoint Hotel. Granted it is a dump, but at $450 a month it is a LOT more affordable.

And legal.

Miss Heather

*Lest this ad has been removed, click here for a screencap.