Booklyn

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Booklyn

I recently made the acquaintance of a very nice woman named Rebecca who works for this organization. I have long wanted to learn what Booklyn was about. After voicing my interest via email she was more than happy to indulge my curiosity by taking me on a little tour. My conclusion: this place is pretty damned neat. Follows are some highlights.

The Slapdown

Booklyn is an artist-run non-profit organization. Established in 1999, it facilities are open to the public Tuesday evenings from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. The first Tuesday of each month is dedicated to “Open Salon Night”. At these events they feature artist’s books from their rather extensive and quirky collection (like this frightfully clever pop-up book entitled The Slapdown). In addition you, the public, are encouraged to bring in your own artists books to share with fellow Booklyn goers.

Booklyn Workspace

Following Tuesdays are dedicated to workshops where you can get hands on experience with the various aspects of bookmaking. Those engaged in their own bookmaking projects can also use their guillotine (above at left) and their bookbinding equipment free of charge.

Booklyn Prints

Among Booklyn’s numerous projects (which include not only bookmaking, but also letter press and printmaking) is the Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW) People’s Republic of Paper. Partnering with former servicemen (and presumably, women) uniforms are shredded into pulp which in turn is turned into paper. Onto this paper each troop’s portrait is then screen printed. One of these portraits can be seen above to the far left.

Scream At The Librarian

They also have a number of really cool books for sale. Scream at the Librarian (above) was by far my favorite:

An instant cult classic, Scream at the Librarian sucks you into the flop house grime of downtown Los Angeles at a time when it was abandoned by all but the terminally desperate. The Screamer, Mr. Brain Damage, The Devil . . . these are just a few of the unforgettable characters that people Rane’s real-life accounts from deep within the stacks of a library which had become a refuge for squatters, drug addicts, and the mentally deranged.

Be advised that you need not be a librarian to appreciate this book. Anyone who has the pleasure of working with the general public will be able to relate. I for one found “The Racist” and “Tourette’s Syndrome” of particular interest. I had honestly not given the matter any thought, but I now understand that a chap with Tourette’s Syndrome may very well be a librarian’s worst nightmare. Why not swing by Booklyn tonight, purchase a copy and read for yourself?

Booklyn
37 Greenpoint Avenue, Floor 4
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-9621
staff (at) booklyn (dot) org

T-shirt

Oh yeah, they also have nifty t-shirts for sale.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: When It Rains We Pour

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

One of these days I am finally going to get around to building a time capsule. The contents of this vessel will be things quintessentially Greenpoint. The purpose of this exercise is to preserve the glory that is the Garden Spot of the Universe before it is rendered utterly soulless (like its more popular sister to the south).

It’s raining booze

That said, it simply doesn’t get much more Greenpoint than a busted up umbrella filled with empty wine bottles and jarred herring propped against a parking meter on a late Sunday morning. Yes sir, this must have been one hell of a party.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Cavalcade Volume VIII: Penance

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Before what we know as prisons came into being the United States penal system was comprised of penitentiaries. The prevailing principle underlying the concept of the penitentiary was to place convicts in an environment that was conducive to contemplation. Being reasonable folks (and the operative here is reason), these ne’er do wells would eventually understand the error of their ways and become model citizens ready for reintegration into decent society.

I mention the previous because I too am a penitent. But instead bars my place of contemplate runs sporadically on four measly cars. Yes, I am talking about the G train. After all, how else can one while away so much time without touching upon a little existentialist angst? Seriously?

Which brings me to this poster for Philosophy Works.

Philosophy Works

As is the case with advertisements hawking philosophy, it asks a lot questions. Little did its creator know that we G train patrons have already found the answers.

What am I doing

Waiting for the mighty Crosstown Local to work its way through the bowels of Brooklyn and Queens predisposes us to reassess our lifestyle choices.

Smoke Less Pot

Sometimes we even feel a little guilty about some of them.

Smoke More Pot

But not for very long.

Miss Heather

The Snowmen of North Brooklyn

February 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

I had so much fun compiling this selection of Greenpoint snowmen I thought it would be fun to showcase some more fluffy fellas from different neighborhoods. Here we go!

McCarren Park Snowman

Representing Greenpoint we have this cute little guy from McCarren Park.

McCarren Park Thing

I have no idea whatsoever what this is, but it too is from McCarren Park and I felt it was worth mentioning.

Bushwick Snowman

This curiously long fellow was kicking it in Bushwick.

Marcy Avenue Snowman

If you happened to be walking down Marcy Avenue in Bedford Stuyvesant the odds are pretty good that your found this cheerful chap smiling at you. Speaking of the Stuy…

Stone Cold Snow Man

nothing says stone cold cool like a smoking snowman. I certainly hope he is considerate enough to dispose of his butts (or reefer leaves) responsibly.

Miss Heather

Easter Stuffed Animal Drive

February 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Stuffed Animal Drive

I learned about this while knocking around Manhattan Avenue Sunday afternoon. While I wasn’t aware that the Church of the Ascension’s Easter Stuffed Animal Drive had such a lengthy history, it’s not at all difficult to understand why: it is a terrific idea. Those of you wanting more information can contact Priscilla or Edith at the phone number indicated on the above flier. Inquiries can also be made in person or via email at:

Greenpoint Church of the Ascension
121 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
ascensionbrooklyn (at) gmail (dot) com

Why not give a child a much-needed reason to smile this Easter and donate a stuffed animal (or two) today?

Miss Heather

The D Word

February 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

(or Miss Heather’s Musings About The Art of the Insult)

Douche (doosh) n. (Fr. shower) 1. a. A stream of water or air applied to a bodily part or cavity for cleansing or medicinal purposes. 1. b. The application of a douche. 2. An instrument for applying a douche.

Bag (bag) n. 1. a. A usu. flexible container… *

Douche Bag (doosh bag) n. 1. A flexible container used to irrigate a woman’s vagina. 2. The insult of choice for the unimaginative.**

I recently confided my newfound hatred for this (oft employed by New York Shitty’s blogorati) epithet to a friend of mine. We despised this phrase, upon this we agreed. But the reasons for our respective distastes differed significantly. In his case, it was a matter of taste and decency. Unfettered by such concerns (after all this blog, New York Shitty, was founded on shit. Literally.) the issue (as far as my curiously eccentric world view is concerned) was one of creativity.

Sure, there was a time I invoked “douche bag”. Frequently. But once it became overused (and therefore rendered meaningless) I employed the extensive education my father provided me to come up with a replacement. Or more accurately (given Pa Heather’s predilection/gift for profanity) replacements.

  • Cock sucker
  • Dick head
  • Fuggin’ asshole
  • Homeless Boogeyman/men (courtesy of the Parks Department)
  • Pig fucker (my current favorite)

All the previous are staples in my anger arsenal. When under duress the offal that finds its way out of my mouth is much more colorful. Which brings me to the point of this post: can we exercise a little more imagination when it comes to putting down our fellow men (or women) online? Please? It’s not that hard. Follows are a few insults to get your creative juices going folks.

Exhibit A: Woodbine Street, Bushwick

Elijah Doesn’t Take Showers

Calling someone “gay” is not a well constructed insult but the lack of personal hygiene angle is compelling. The essential underpinning of a good insult is to point out an aspect of your adversary that is socially undesirable. Homosexuality does not (and should not) have the stigmatizing sting it used to. New York City is the great melting pot. And in this crucible of cultures, creeds, religions, races and yes, sexual orientations, there is one thing we all have in common: noses. People who do not shower, well, STINK.

Exhibit B: Woodbine Street, Bushwick

Elijah is a (shut your mouth)

Elijah (and his dear mother) are clearly objects of wrath on Woodbine Street.

Exhibit C: Bedford Stuyvesant

Pig Balls

Why bother blathering about incest? Sucking pig balls is much more provocative.

Still not convinced, douche bag devotees, that your affront of choice is yesterday’s news? Maybe the following anecdote will change your ways.

Hana Food

This is Hana Food Deli and Grocery. It is located at 534 Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg. 11211. I happened to be in the area (and very hungry) so I went inside in seek of kibble.

Douche Bag Sandwich

I always preferred my douche bag on the rocks. Shaken, not stirred. Just like James Bond. A douche bag with blue cheese dressing?!? That’s just plain gross.

PBR at Hana Food

But I suppose a douche bag tastes pretty damned good washed down with Pabst Blue Ribbon. $7.99 a twelve pack who can argue with that?

Miss Heather

P.S.: I ordered the “Sandy-wich” which was (simply put) a vegan BLT. It wasn’t bad. That said, these guys have NOTHING on the Franklin Corner Store in good ol’ Greenpoint. Andre, his son, partners and Oreo know how to make a sandwich.

*Websters II New Riverside University University Dictionary, 1984

**Miss Heather

Bushwick Photo du Jour: Sunday Special

February 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Jesus on Jefferson Street

From Jefferson Street.

Miss Heather

TODAY: You Pick The Movie At East Coast Aliens

February 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Tonight the folks at East Coast Aliens have a great pair of movies to choose from for this special Oscar Award Winner “Pick Pick Night”. Per their press release:

Oh well,

It’s the Oscars again!

And boy! We almost missed out on the big show.

For those out there who don’t give a damn about artifice but care about art we give you the choice of… who should turn out to be the big winner of the night.

So you decide:

shall it be

Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights

or shall it be

the Coen brothers’ O Brother, Where Art Thou?

East Coast Aliens
216 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Doors open at 8:30 p.m. and the suggested donation is $6.00 per person. The selected film will begin at 9:00. p.m.

Miss Heather

Meet The Snowmen Of Greenpoint

February 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Ashbox

Passed out at Ashbox.

Ashbox 2

Faceless next door to Ashbox.

Green Street

Faceless on Green Street.

Manhattan Avenue

This one (my favorite) comes from Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

A Little Red In Greenpoint

February 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I happened upon this Greenpoint Red in the usual manner: while engaged doing something else. I was warning a fellow tenant of Chateau de Ghetto that someone has been parsing through our mailboxes. Our conversation came to an abrupt halt when I saw him, this fellow traveler of the Crosstown local.

Fellow Traveler

Miss H: Pardon me, can I take a photograph of your coat? My husband is a card-carrying Commie. Since Castro resigned he’s been really bummed out.

Bearer of the Cloth: Oh yes, the hammer and sickle. But the Soviet Union were not true Communists.

He’s right. That’s why Mr. Heather is a Trotskyite.

Miss Heather

*Brazenly. Stealth is not our felon’s strong point: he (or she) leaves the mailboxes open for our edification. Mr. Heather and I have not received mail for two days save a Victoria’s Secret catalog. I left it in the mailbox on Thursday (in the hopes this person would take) only to find it still there on Friday. Bitch.

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