What Is Wrong With This Picture?

April 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Smith 9th Bound G Train

I stared at this poster for a good five minutes before I finally got up the gumption to take a photograph of it. Naturally my fellow Crosstown Local patrons were curious as to what I found so interesting. So I showed them.

Change is…

CHANGE IS: a copy editor who needs a refresher course in geography.

Everyone within earshot found my discovery quite amusing. A man to my right summed it up beautifully when he said:

What do you expect? It’s the G train.

Our humble subway line might take its (well deserved) lumps. Sure it is crowded. Granted, it is slow. Very slow. But at least we know where we’re going.

Miss Heather

AntiWHAT?!?

April 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Antipolez

I found this product gracing a shelf laden with an assortment of anti-headache and diarrheal medicines at Bagel on the Run. At a mere $2.50 a pop I had to own one for posterity. Given that this neighborhood recently received lavishly illustrated signs admonishing the citizenry not to drink in public parks, I am certain this product will be a big hit.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Lorimer Street

April 1, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Teachers In Space

Speaking as someone who was forced to watch the Challenger launch (and explode) in school this gives me the creeps. Only Florida would issue commemorative license plates like this.

On the bright side, at least this wasn’t affixed to a Pinto.

Miss Heather

Hmm…

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yesterday as I was knocking around McGolrick Park I remembered that I had yet to get a nice photograph of P.S. 110. So I took a moment, found a nice vantage point and shutter-bugged to my heart’s contentment.

P.S. 110

It is not very easy to get a good shot of this beautiful building. As you can see the trees present a bit of an issue. Maybe a close up would be more feasible?

P.S. 110 Detail

Yes, that is much better. Very nice indeed!

Construction 124 Monitor Street

I wonder what is going on next door? Methinks I will go in for a closer look.

DOB Permit 124 Monitor Street

I cannot shake the feeling I have heard about this work site before. Oh wait, I remember! I received an email about it last Thursday at 11:48 p.m.:

…My bedroom window overlooks the North-facing yard of PS110 (corner of Driggs and Monitor). Some sort of elevator-shaft construction is happening to the building, and as I email screechy earth moving equipment is shuffling dirt from one mound into another. This totally stinks. Can you advise?

Earth mover and flood lights

Let’s see. The sun rises before 7:00 a.m. and sets after 7:00 p.m. nowadays. Our fair city permits construction to occur from 7:00 a.m. through 6:00 p.m. weekdays (provided of course an after-hours variance has not been issued). I wonder why they need flood lights?

Miss Heather

The Sunview 300

March 31, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Parkside Luncheonette

Many of my fellow Greenpointers are aware that the Sunview Luncheonette was shuttered by the Department of Health earlier this year. Among the violations cited were:

  1. Evidence of flying insects or live flying insects present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas.
  2. Toilet facility not maintained and provided with toilet paper, waste receptacle and self-closing door.
  3. Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to vermin exist.

Frankly, this describes a number of restaurants I have patronized over the years. In fact, it sounds uncannily like my apartment (on occasion) or the McGolrick Park bathroom (which is located just across the street). Except no one has yet to cite me or the “McGolrick Park Crapper of Death”.

Jerks

Even if they did I doubt such an act would create as much rancor as the closure of the Sunview Luncheonette has. So this establishment racked up a whopping 47 points? While pretty abysmal I have a very difficult time believing this is the worst score lurking in the bowels of the Department of Health’s records for north Brooklyn. The Subway franchise at 821 Manhattan Avenue racked up 36 points for such tasty transgressions as:

  1. Plumbing not properly installed or maintained; anti-siphonage or backflow prevention device not provided where required; equipment or floor not properly drained; sewage disposal system in disrepair or not functioning properly.
  2. Hand washing facility not provided in or near food preparation area and toilet room. Hot and cold running water at adequate pressure not provided at facility. Soap and an acceptable hand-drying device not provided.
  3. Evidence of mice or live mice present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas.
  4. Cold food held above 41°F (smoked fish above 38°F) except during necessary preparation.

yet they have not been shuttered. Interesting.

Moneygrubbing Pigs in Power

The way I see it, what’s a little stomach discomfort compared to the utter chaos that will undoubtedly result if this space becomes home to a second Starbucks?

Miss Heather

News On The Bed Bug Front

March 30, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Bedbug

HPD will be visiting Greenpoint May 6 to give a two hour seminar about the pernicious vermin afflicting a lot of people in New York City: bed bugs. The purpose of this gathering is as follows:

  1. What are bed bugs?
  2. Are bed bugs dangerous?
  3. How do you know your home is infested with bedbugs?
  4. How can you get rid of bedbugs safely?*
  5. What are some bedbug myths?

Points #1-3: As my comrade to the south piquantly stated:

Hm, I thought the idea was to avoid infestations.

BushwickBK is entitled to his opinion. As am I— and I politely (and rationally) beg to differ. One cannot avoid infestations if he/she does not know what to look for— and the sad fact of the matter is most people don’t.

Which brings me to point #5: Bed bugs do not care about your socio/economic/ethnic status. Gay, straight or bi, they’ll happily dine upon anyone who gives them the opportunity. Even if you own a condo and speak English as a first language.

The HPD bed bug workshop in Greenpoint will be conducted May 6, 2008 from 6:00 – 8:00 p.m at…

The Greenpoint Reformed Church
136 Milton Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
R.S.V.P: (212) 863-8830

In closing there’s a new bed bug wailing wall online. It is called New York vs. Bed Bugs. Last week I was asked by a reporter why I cared so much about the bed bug problem in my neighborhood. My answer was a very simple (and selfish) one:

I do not want to get them.

I know far too many people who have (and continue) to go through the utter hell of exterminating these creatures. An ounce of prevention is worth several months (and hundreds of dollars) worth of cure. Call and R.S.V.P. today.

Miss Heather

*Point #4: Yesterday evening I listened to two men on the G train (at the Clinton-Washington stop) discuss bed bugs. One advised spraying them with Lysol because (and I quote):

That slows them down.

His counterpart said he found one on his mattress, sprayed it with alcohol and then applied heat with a blow drier.

Um, that sounds kind of dangerous.

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Code Red On Green Street

March 29, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Run!

I’ll be back!

Miss Heather

The Manifold Joys of Gentrification

March 28, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

P.S. 110

I received the following email at 11:48 March 27, 2008:

Are you able to please help me? I am writing to you at 11:45 pm (aka MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT) Thursday night, 27 March. Construction happening RIGHT NOW outside my window is driving me NUTS. I have called 311, but have been advised some sort of non-helpful dodge about the appropriate agency being closed. I think that this CAN’T be legal, but I am SO SLEEPY and sleep-deprived that I am in no position to protest or research.

My bedroom window overlooks the North-facing yard of PS110 (corner of Driggs and Monitor). Some sort of elevator-shaft construction is happening to the building, and as I email screechy earth moving equipment is shuffling dirt from one mound into another. This totally stinks. Can you advise?

(Adding insult to insult is that this cacophony comes on top of what I already endure every day from 7:45 a.m. onwards coming out of Kingsland Ave.’s misguided condo projects).

Best wishes,

Anonymous

The benefactor of Anonymous’s late night torment is (in all probability) NATIONAL ENVIRONMENTAL SAFETY CO.

PS. 110 Permit

This entity is pre-qualified by the New York City School System too:

13285 – HAZMAT REMED – ASBESTOS ABTMNT & REM

What does asbestos abatement and remediation have to do with elevator construction at 11:45 p.m.? Just curious.

Miss Heather

Orient Avenue: Knocking On Scarano’s Back Door

March 26, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

As I mentioned in this post, I played “tour guide” last weekend. Any tour guide worth his/her salt knows where to take a bathroom break: Cooper Park. Second only to the privy at Fermi Playground in Bushwick. The latter is the only bathroom I have patronized that had soap, paper towels and toilet paper in abundance. At the same time. But that is the stuff of another post.

After relieving our respective selves I took my friends to Orient Avenue. We checked out the Munster House at 59, but found its neighbor to the west much more intriguing.

11 Orient Avenue

This is 11 Orient Avenue.

Rat trap

This is 11 Orient Avenue on crack. Any questions?

Notice

Apparently the Department of Buildings would like to ask a question.

Thursday’s Child has far to go

Or two. They have issued summons but have yet to get access to the property.

Per the Department of Buildings complaint #625608:

DOB BIS, 11 Orient Avenue

When we walked by this building on Sunday, March 23, 2008 it was eviscerated. It sported cinder blocks for a front door, rat traps laid with total abandon and garbage dumped atop the few purple tulips which grace its soon to be deceased front yard.

11 Orient Sneaks

Perhaps the no shoes in our house policy deterred the D.O.B. gaining entrance? Or to be Zen; if a New York City Building Inspector knocks on a pile cinder blocks does it make it sound? Not to his supervisors. So he sticks a notice on the fence instead. Twice.

Miss Heather

P.S.: It should hardly be surprising that this site is going to be razed for yet another Scarano masterpiece. Five stories, no less.

A Study In Contrast

March 25, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Last weekend on Jackson Street I had the pleasure of discovering one of the most verbose admonishments to remove one’s bicycle from another person’s premises I have ever seen.

This is not a bike rack

The author of this note brings up a very salient point: there are certain legal ramifications to be had if someone injures him/herself on someone’s property. His (or her) argument for this bike’s removal is well thought-out and attempts to employ reason in the hopes the owner of this vehicle will do the right thing. Unfortunately this oft-used form of manipulation usually backfires because a great number of people on this planet are anything but reasonable. Perhaps they should give my new friends at Rude Towing a ring?

It has been my observation that the best inducements are the ones which make it known it is in the offender’s best interest to cease and desist with his/her anti-social behavior. Keep it concise and straight to the point. Like this classic piece of anti-bicycle signage from Calyer Street in Greenpoint.

Sliced and Stripped

I have walked by this house on a number of occasions. I have yet to see a bicycle affixed to it or any part of its property in any way, shape or form. It just goes to show Teddy Roosevelt was onto something when he said:

Speak softly and carry a big stick a chain saw.

Miss Heather

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