More Fun With Max

May 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

You know, after spending so much time researching Max Stark’s holdings I almost feel like I know him. I was after all once a close neighbor of his delightful hotel. I can assure you, dear readers, it was an experience I will cherish for many years to come.

And on that note I have a very exciting piece of news to relay. Soon many more of my fellow Greenpointers will have the pleasure of calling Max a neighbor!

This is 239 Banker Street. It is located on the same block of Studio B. Neighborhood Threat (who took the above photograph) writes March 15, 2008:

construction shed but no posted permits. however, they now have a complaint for construction without a permit. but they do have one. remediation to comply with likely the dozen DOB complaints they already have. but these landlords are infamous for doing construction without permit and renting buildings with COA (see 467 Troutman St. – it’s the same people. they also have several buildings out at morgan as well as the rocket factory, which was their first.)

i am particularly interested in their plan to turn this building into a transient hotel, which was disapproved by the DOB in 2006. considering that they already own one, the good old greenpoint hotel.

While spot-on regarding the Rocket Factory and 467 Troutman Street, my buddy is dead wrong about the Department of Building’s kiboshing Max’s plans to convert this building into a hotel.

Plans to convert this building into (and I quote) “transient hotel” were green lighted by the Department of Buildings last week.

But don’t take my word for it. Click here and read for yourself!

Wow. First it was an illegal rooftop garden at Studio B and now there will be a hotel just down the block! Given how much value Mr. Stark’s other hotel has added to the Garden Spot, I can hardly wait to see how this, his latest venture into the hospitality industry, will pan out.

Those of you who find this development objectionable will be very interested to know tonight is the monthly meeting of Community Board 1. If you cannot attend (this is last minute after all) you can always send them a piece of snail mail at:

Community Board 1
435 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

Miss Heather

P.S.: Big props go out to Neighborhood Threat for tipping me off to this. Thanks!

Searching For 80 Clay Street

May 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I am certain a number of you are familiar with this property. Its address is 239 North 9th Street. As my colleague at the Gowanus Lounge has noted, not only is this (surprise!) going to be the site of (yet) another Karl Fischer masterpiece, but its farce of a construction fence presents very serious public safety issues. But neither 239 North 9th Street’s safety practices nor Karl Fischer are the purpose of this post. That is subject matter best left to the Gowanus Lounge to cover. Rather, I am intrigued by a sign gracing the fence at 239 North 9th Street.

This sign, to be precise. As you can see the owner of this property is “Greenpoint Management”. The physical address for this entity is listed as being 80 Clay Street.

Hannah found this sign at 261 North 9th Street. It lists 80 Clay Street as being the address of the owner as well. Very curious.

This site (120 S. 4th Street) is located at the corner of Bedford Avenue and South 4th Street. It too lists 80 Clay Street as being the owner’s address. Realizing we had a bona fide mystery on our hands, Hannah and I set out to learn more about 80 Clay Street. The first thing we did was look to it up on the Department of Building’s web site.

Per the Department of Buildings, 80 Clay Street is also known as 1114 Manhattan Avenue. When I first moved to Greenpoint I lived on Clay Street. As a consequence I know the addresses there quite well. Not satified with the Department of Buildings take on 80 Clay Street I decided to go down personally and see it for myself. Ready to learn more about the contact address behind three rather ambitious Williamsburg developments? If so, read on.

Gee, this looks awfully run down to the be headquarters for a Williamsburg development empire. What gives?

Oh that explains it— It’s part of the Greenpoint Hotel!* Silly me.

It was at this moment, dear readers, that all the pieces started to fall into place. If you look back at the sign gracing the fence at 120 South 4th Street you will notice it lists a telephone number: 718 349 8067. On a lark I decided to Google it. Here’s what I found.**

I made one last compelling discovery when I perused filings for 261 North 9th Street, 239 North 9th Street and 120 South 4th Street via the Department of Buildings Information System.

261 North 9th Street

239 North 9th Street

120 South 4th Street

All list one Menechem Stark as being the owner. If this name sounds familiar to you I’ll tell you why: he is one of the co-owners of the Greenpoint Hotel. Who knew this chap had such a stake in luxury condominiumville in Williamsburg? I certainly didn’t. I don’t know about you but I can hardly wait for these condominiums to get completed. I can only hope 261 North 9th Street, 239 North 9th Street and 120 South 4th Street will all sport the same caliber of “dedicated professionals” and “comfortable accommodations” that are to be had at their humbler cousin at 1109 Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

*Which, for the record is located on the southwestern corner of Manhattan Avenue and Clay Street. The Department of Buildings might want to look into that.

**Be sure to check out this other select morsel too. It would appear that 315 Siegel Street’s ownership also traces back to the Greenpoint Hotel. If the following quote is any indication, it sounds like one swinging place:

On July 30th, residents found bloody footprints in the building

Bedbugs are also mentioned. Where do I sign?!?

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Goodbye Kitty

May 13, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Java Street.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Kill Devil Hill

May 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Saturday night I noticed the storefront at 170 Franklin Street has a new tenant. Over the years I have seen many a business come and go from this space so it’ll be interesting to see if this one “sticks”. My curiosity is killing me as to what “Kill Devil Hill” will be. Anyone out there in the know? If so, do share.

Miss Heather

P.S. Here is neat little bit of background info I received from a reader about the origin of  “Kill Devil Hill”. Doug D. writes:

Kill Devil Hill is the name of the place the Wright Bros. took their first flight airplane to test and is the place of their first flight. Its in NC.

http://www.killdevilhills.com/ for more

My guess is the shop owners may be from NC or OH.

I’ve been there, The Wright bros are from my home town of Dayton, Ohio. And before building airplanes they made and sold bicycles. I rode my bike from Dayton to FL in 2000, and went through NC and Kill Devil Hills on my way.

HALLELUJAH!

May 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Friday evening the Mister and I were strolling down Manhattan Avenue. As we passed 1000 Manhattan Avenue something struck me as being different. At first I couldn’t out my finger on it so I stopped, turned around and walked back.

Yes folks, the inconceivable has indeed come to pass. That hideous “crutch” blighting this block is GONE!

Not believing my eyes, I swung by the next day. Still no crutch! Wishing to gauge how my fellow Greenpointers were adapting to this radical change in their environment, I crossed the street and stood watch.

As you can see, this woman mastered the newly unobstructed stretch of sidewalk like a pro. If any of you have the time and/or inclination to go out in this nasty weather, head to 1000 Manhattan Avenue and partake of this newly liberated sidewalk yourself!

Miss Heather

Canine Couture In North Brooklyn

May 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

I recently bumped into the person who keeps Mordred, the best dressed Chihuahua in Greenpoint. Her keeper (I will not disclose this person’s name) said to me:

Someone (upon recognizing Mordred) came up to me and asked “Are you Heather?”

Anticipating the worst (I have had lit cigarettes flicked at me for no other reason than being alive), I asked:

Was she nice?

Mordred’s Person replied:

At first I was confused because I have a good friend named Heather. But she said she was a big fan of your blog.

To wit I said:

You should have said you were me. I wouldn’t mind.

I mention this because yesterday on Graham Avenue I discovered Mordred has some stiff competition as the foremost four-legged fashionista of north Brooklyn.

Meet Dixie Cup. She is a resident of Williamsburg and just like her person sports a bone fide Mohawk. Check out the leopard print frock. Very nice.

Also of note are her assless pants. Or would these be chaps? In any case they are very David Lee Roth-esque. Maybe that’s why he wore them? It wasn’t exhibitionism: he simply didn’t want to drop trou in order to go to the bathroom.

Thoughts, anyone?

Miss Heather

I Am Squirrel, Hear Me Roar!

May 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint Magic 

It’s Monday. For most people Monday sucks. Usually because it entails some unforeseen fuck up that happened at work over the weekend. You could settle for your boss yelling at you— or you could opt out for a much cuter option.

Meet Squirrel. This little guy’s eyes opened a few days ago. Now his mouth is compensating for it.

Now get back to work already!

Miss Heather

Photo/Kitty Credits: Lisacat. Anyone interested in adopting Squirrel (or the many other wonderful fur kids in her care) should contact Lisa at: lisacatv (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Ode To A Door Knob

May 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

Or as our friends across the pond like to say: door handle.

Few things are so pervasive, yet so uncelebrated as the lowly door knob. Think about it. How many emotionally charged moments in your life have involved this mundane servant of humanity?

  • Have you ever been locked out of your apartment? That door knob was there to bear silent testimony to your plight (and wrath).
  • Ever had a nasty argument with your significant other/spouse and elected to exit your apartment by making the dramatic statement of slamming the door? That door knob was your accomplice.

Door knobs are much more interesting than you think. I say this not only as a door knob user, but also as a drop-out from “professional workforce”. If a Human Resources Expert was to read my resume, he (or she) would deem me an abject failure. And in all fairness, I probably am. I, on the other hand, see it as ten (plus years) of wage slavery with a hefty helping of Schadenfreude (READ: blue chip cocktail party material) to assuage the pain of underemployment.

Which brings me back to door knobs.

At one point in my less than stellar career I worked as a Receptionist for a state agency that worked with victims of violent crime. The function of this entity was to give money to (uninsured) victims of violent crime to cover medical bills, “rape kits”, funerals, etc.

If you want to delve into humanity at its absolute worst a state crime victim’s board is the place to see it. If you can imagine it, I can assure you somebody has already done it. In the most vile and disgusting fashion possible. As a Receptionist I not only had to field calls from a lot of angry people wanting to know if/when their money (for example) their child’s anti-depressants will come (because the board had a backlog), but I also had to deal with a very dysfunctional staff. In other words it was the kind of job that made you want to go home and empty your liquor cabinet. EVERY NIGHT.

Nonetheless my lowly sinecure was darkly amusing at times.

CASE IN POINT

One of my (numerous) responsibilities was filing “crime blotter” clippings. One day I came across a gem and decided to bring it to the attention of one of my co-workers.

Miss H: Get a load of this. Some guy died of metallic poisoning. He had nuts and bolts in his stomach and a door knob shoved up his ass. The police called it a suicide*.

Caseworker: How old was he?

Miss H: I dunno, not young but not old. 40, I think.

Caseworker: He should have known better.

Miss H: ?

Caseworker: He was old enough to know better than to shove a door knob up his ass.

Not knowing what to make of this I retreated to the sanctity of my desk. I have never seen a door knob the same way since.

That is until last Saturday when I spied this beauty at The Thing.

Needless to say I have made this item my own. Living in an age where cheap and disposable schlockitecture is the norm in my neighborhood (and New York City in general) this is an all too sad reminder of a time when even the lowliest fixtures of a public institution were made to please the eye.

Barack Obama speaks of the audacity of hope. I wish to make a case for the audacity of beauty. Is this, for the best city on earth, too much to ask?

Miss Heather

P.S.: I wanted to install this fixture on our front door but it won’t fit. But being under 40 I can, with peace of mind, put it to a more nefarious use.

*It was later ruled a homicide. Duh.

Last Minute Gift Giving Ideas For Mother’s Day

May 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

A question I find myself asking more and more nowadays is as follows:

When we will we as a society pull our collective head out of our ass and get our priorities straight?

After all, I live in a neighborhood where:

  1. Luxury condominiums are the standard, yet more and more families are flooding into the local food pantry.
  2. Five banks can be found in a two block radius south of Greenpoint Avenue but nary such an institution can be found to the north.
  3. Bars are proliferating, but the selection of restaurants (unless of course, one likes Thai food— A LOT) is becoming more and more sparse.

Yes sir, if you love you some psychics, booze, Thai food, banks and pet supply stores, Greenpoint is the place to be. If you need to eat, buy housewares or something for Mother’s Day (like the rest of us) this arrangement presents certain challenges.

Which brings me to this.

This is the window at Just For Fun, a stationery/novelty store on Manhattan Avenue. As you can see, the theme is Mother’s Day. I am terrible about remembering such holidays. Thankfully these folks have a number of great gift-giving ideas for prodigal children like me.

Perfume, lighters shaped like the Statue of Liberty, edible underwear— all are excellent ways of telling mom how much you love her on Mother’s Day.

Those of you who are diet conscious will be pleased as punch to learn these great tasting strawberry flavored skivvies are also LOW IN CARBOHYDRATES! What will these unsung geniuses think of next? Control top edible underwear? I can only hope so.

Miss Heather

Another Saturday At Studio B

May 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

The numerous building and fire code “irregularities” barely scratch the surface as to my fascination with this establishment. No matter what time of day I walk by there always seems to be something going on. Yesterday afternoon was no exception.

It was 3:30 p.m. when I saw a minivan park in front of Studio B. Intrigued, I hung around to see what would happen next.

Man steps out of minivan, walks to the front door and stares at work permit.

Bear with me, I’m going somewhere with this.

Having read said permit, man returns to van and waits.

One block away I notice HE IS STILL WAITING. What is this man waiting for? Does he want to make sure he gets into this evening’s event? He hardly looks like the Studio B type. Or is he?

Thankfully I walked by again around midnight. Not only were things starting hop (and the rooftop garden appeared to be closed) but across the street I found a very curious item jammed in a window sill.

And then it all made sense. Next thing you know Bob Dole will be down there trying peddle his little blue pills to get around paying Studio B’s exorbitant cover charge.

Miss Heather

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