Greenpoint To Get A Beer Garden?!?

May 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Lest any of you have been wondering what is going on behind the Corner Frenzy (Huron Street at Manhattan Avenue), today I got the scoop. Per the owner this space is going to be a beer garden/Mexican restaurant. The grand opening is slated for next Sunday after next, June 8, 2008. Those of you who are interested in getting a sneak peek will be interested to know they will be hosting a barbecue on this Monday, Memorial Day, from 2:00 p.m. until dusk.

I think I speak for many of my fellow Greenpointers when I say this is very good news — and not only for those of us who like beer and Mexican food. Let’s face facts: the dining options available in the Garden Spot are meager to say the least. A Mexican restaurant/beer garden could be a great addition to the neighborhood. Socializing over tacos and beer is far superior to hanging out in some pretentious club and sipping over-priced drinks (in the hopes someone will actually converse with you). I can hardly wait to check this place out!

Miss Heather

NEXT WEEK: McGolrick Park Dog Run Fund Raiser

May 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Next week District Dog will be hosting a fund raising event/meeting regarding the McGolrick Park dog run. Per their press release:

This is a community event for Big and Small Dog owners, for all of us to hang out and get to know one another. It would be a great opportunity to get together and discuss concerns, suggestions, community organization etc. If we get enough of a turnout maybe we can pick a new run coordinator to manage the runs up keep. THIS IS VERY NEEDED. We hope to see you all.

All proceeds will be applied towards building a run for small dogs, e.g.; fencing, entrance and benches. Anyone interested in attending this event should R.S.V.P. via email at:

info (at) districtdog (dot) com

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Darth Tater

May 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Stoop Sale Round-up

May 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

For those of you who are staying in New York City this holiday weekend and have a little money to burn three stoop sales will be held in the Garden Spot this weekend. Here’s a general rundown.

Sci-Fi geeks and film nerds should head over to 107 Freeman Street. Among the offerings promised are Star Trek action figures and “weird inflatable toys”. Anyone seeking a desk should take note: they will have one free for the taking around 5:00 p.m.

This sale’s offerings are a bit more pedestrian, but it may very well be worth checking out. Especially if you’re seeking housewares and gardening equipment.

Lastly, on Sunday there will be a stoop sale at 103 Huron Street. All benefits are purported to go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Even if you don’t see anything that tickles your fancy you are more than welcome to leave a donation.

Happy hunting!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s Lost Dove

May 24, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

I found this flier at the Garden yesterday and feel compelled to pass it along. I used to patronize this laundromat and my dealings with the ownership there were always pleasant. If anyone has seen their pet dove (or knows of its whereabouts), please contact them at the above phone number.

Thanks!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: THIS AREA PATROLLED

May 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Vandervoort Avenue.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: He Lives!

May 23, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As some of you have noticed, the offerings the last couple of days have been few. This is because after being holed up in my apartment for several days I needed to get out and actually have fun. Yes some of us bloggers do, indeed, have a life. What’s more, I will gladly sacrifice page hits if it means having the honor of riding the one and only G train with the King.

Attention, Elvis is leaving the Crosstown Local. Repeat, Elvis is leaving the Crosstown Local.

Miss Heather

Disturbathon

May 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

(Or how to go totally fucking insane in twelve easy steps)

Today’s offerings will be excruciating lite because:

  1. I have been housebound for three days and as a consequence I am low on material.
  2. Last night I went absolutely bat shit.

It takes a lot to rattle me. Life in New York Shitty has a way of knocking those sharp edges of intolerance clean off a person. But for those of you out there who wish to drive Miss Heather abso-FUCKING-lutely nuts (and you know who you are), here’s how to do it.

  1. Give Miss Heather a task, in this case waiting for a Fed Ex package to be delivered.
  2. Get a one yard container and place it under Miss Heather’s living room window.
  3. Starting at 9:00 a.m. sharp start flinging metal pipes into said dumpster.
  4. Be sure to make a sport of it. Slamdunks are not only encouraged, but they are mandatory.
  5. Accompany your manly acts of garbage disposal with color commentary such as “I’m the man!” and “$2,000?!? I can get a fucking whore for that kind of money!” If “Kristen” is reading this come on down to Greenpoint. I found you a client!
  6. Repeat items #4 and #5 until 5:30 p.m.
  7. Debt collection agencies: give me a ring. Often. Be sure to ask for “Julie Garcia” despite my repeated assertions that she doesn’t live here.
  8. Fed Ex: be sure to postpone your delivery until the next day. Do not inform me of this. We both know my only purpose in life is to wait for you to show up. It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.
  9. Scrap metal collectors: once the sun begins to set it is your turn to shine! Please proceed to the dumpster (as mentioned in point #2) and fling its contents onto the sidewalk in the loudest manner possible.
  10. Mister Heather: fire up a documentary about East German Olympic athletes being used as guinea pigs for anabolic steroids. The mere sound of metal crashing onto the ground is not enough to render my efforts at writing futile. It must be accompanied with images of women who look like Dick Butkus.
  11. Dispatcher at 94th Precinct: When someone (in this case, Mr. Heather who fears I am about to go “Prisoner of Second Avenue” on someone’s ass) calls your direct number to complain about noise/suspicious activity, order him/her to call 911. You, being expected actually field a phone call by a lowly tax payer? The sheer fucking nerve.
  12. Make sure the mayhem (from pipes being thrown asunder, television, etc.) lasts for twelve straight hours, giving Miss Heather a headache that won’t quit.

Yup. If you want to get on my nerves this handy outline shows you how! Not only has it been proven effective in clinical studies but it also comes with a 100% money back guarantee. Which given I have provided this information totally free of charge— well, you know.

Miss Heather

Subway Posters du Jour: O

May 20, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Crosstown Local, Fulton Street

Crosstown Local, Greenpoint

Miss Heather

Some Gift-Giving Ideas For Father’s Day

May 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Since I was so lax about remembering Mother’s Day this year I have been extra vigilant about Father’s Day. The way I figure, having roughly one month at my disposal will give me time to make note, forget about it and remember with enough time left over to actually purchase a present in time. And when the latter most moment comes to pass I will head straight to Just For Fun without delay.

I noticed last weekend that they re-tooled their window display to showcase some gift-giving suggestions for dear old dad. I for one am drawn to this objet de arte. You see, Pa Heather recently decided to join the 21st century and get high speed Internet. As a result he has been tearing up the keyboard— much to my overloaded inbox’s chagrin. The way I see it, nothing says “cyber geek” (or “ask me about my castration anxiety”) like a disembodied fist donning a dagger and digital wrist watch. Such is the stuff sci-fi conventions are made of.

Of course I could always opt for the more pedestrian (and practical) pair of edible underwear. These come in creme de menthe flavor. Not only are they a tasty apertif but they leave the consumer with nice minty fresh breath to boot!

Yummy.

Miss Heather

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