Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Somewhere Under The Rainbow
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Erin of Leonard writes:
Tonight we found that Greenpoint IS the end of the rainbow. Or is that actually the sewage treatment plant? I think it is.
It’s our pot of gold(en water), Erin! Don’t you remember what Emily Lloyd said at the digester tank lighting ceremony? The digester tanks at our local sewage treatment plant will be visible from the observation deck of the Empire State Building! Tourists from all four corners of the earth can gaze upon our “shit tits” and take a dump knowing we are the ones who will receive their offerings. Talk about street cred!
Miss Heather
Photo Credits (and big thanks go out to): Erin of Leonard
Is It Really That Bad?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
(The stench at Nassau Avenue, that is.)
After listening to a city employee shout at her cohort Friday night on the Crosstown Local:
Hey, are you familiar with this stop? It stinks. It smells like (expletive) sewage or something! (Waving hand in front of nose) NASTY!
And learning about this missive on Craigslist I decided to head down to the Nassau Avenue stop of the G and see smell for myself. It was pretty bad. Even by Greenpoint standards. And before I continue, let me explain to you what the previous entails:
- Miss Heather leaving her apartment Tuesday, August 12, 2008: Smells like someone pissed behind our stoop again. Or was it the vestibule of our building? I can’t tell.
- Miss Heather on McGuinness Boulevard at Dupont Street, Monday, August 11, 2008: Gee, the sewage treatment plant is particularly ripe today.
- I have looked at (and occasionally stepped in) dog shit damned near every day for over two years.
- I have survived the McGolrick Park crapper of death.
Over the years I have developed a palette for stink. It comes with living in Greenpoint. Oenophiles often invoke terms such as “berrylike”, “astringent”, “citrusy”, “peppery”, “prickly” or “oxidized” to praise or pan the wines before them. I will endeavor to use some of their terminology to describe what I smelled at Nassau Avenue:
ASTRINGENT:
Descriptive of wines smells that have a rough, puckery taste. Usually can be attributed to high tannin content. Tannic astringency will normally decrease with age. However, sometimes the wine fails to outlive the tannin.
Check.
ATTACK:
The initial impact of a wine smell. If not strong or flavorful, the wine is considered “feeble”. “Feeble” wines are sometimes encountered among those vinified in a year where late rain just before harvest diluted desirable grape content.
What I smelled was hardly feeble. In fact it was…
OXIDIZED:
Powerful, attack aroma. Usually denotes high level of acidity, alcohol and/or other flavor faults. (Like piss and sewage— Ed. Note.)
with a hint of…
ROTTEN EGG:
Smell of Hydrogen Sulfide gas in wine. Thought to be a characteristic imparted by certain yeast strains. A decided flaw.
Simply put, it was gross.
Much has been made of aromatherapy. Pleasing scents are purported to help healing. So Psychology Today says, anyway. What about aromaterrorism? Has anyone done any research as to what the effect foul odors have on one’s psyche? Probably, but I suspect this poster will suffice.
A mind soul is a terrible thing to waste.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Lorimer Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Very true. But a little compensation is always welcome.
Miss Heather
Summer Is Here
Is it just me or has summer truly arrived here in New York Shitty? Sure the calender indicates this season arrived back in June and our weather has been unseasonably cool and wet— but I am not one to trifle with empirical data. I leave the crunching of dates and statistics to the experts.
Rather, I am talking about anger. Lots of it. The later the sun sets, the more surly people get. In the last week alone I have seen two people ripping someone a new asshole on Manhattan Avenue. The fact that the objects of their respective ire were not visible to the naked eye is immaterial. We New Yorkers undergo a transformation in summer. It’s not necessarily a pretty one either. Thankfully the city has seen fit to provide us with an ample amount of advertising to take the edge off.
Case In Point: The Visiting Nurse Service of New York
I am of the understanding that there is a lot of money to be made in advertising. Or at the very least a lot of money is spent on it. One would think that during their “focus group” session someone at this ad agency would have had the presence of mind to point out that thought-provoking, “worst case scenario” missives are lost on G train patrons.
Waiting for long periods of time at sewage stench-laden stations to ride what was recently deemed the filthiest subway line in the city predisposes one towards a certain kind of existentialist cynicism.
As does being forced to look at the 21st century’s solution to Jocelyn Wildenstein.
No sir, Ms. Dickinson’s heavily air brushed bod doesn’t sweeten the pot one bit.
What’s more, reminders that some of us might stand to lose a pound or two only pisses us off.
I quite aware that advertising sees fit to capitalize off the viewer’s vanity/insecurity. (That’s the only reason I can think of why someone has seen fit to market hair dye for pubic hair, anyway.) When one rides the G train such frippery goes straight out the window. Who cares about looking good (or having dignity for that matter) when he (or she) is doing his (or her) best not to throw up?
Think about it.
Miss Heather
UPDATE: It looks like the folks at 23rd – Ely aren’t too big on Ms. Dickinson either.
P.S.: If any advertising/product placement wizards are reading this, give Greenpoint more Dexter posters. We seem to like those.
Could It Be?!?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
After serving up free samples of soup last year and months of inactivity, something appears to be happening at 1013 Manhattan Avenue. Will Ichiran be opening for business soon? If so, will it be a ramen shop? I do not know. But this storefront has been open the last three days and signs of human activity have been noted. (Hell, they’ve even been checking their mail!)
Maybe they got wind of Sakura 6?
Miss Heather
UPDATE: Check out this post on Williamsburg Is Dead. It looks like Ichiran will be gracing us with its presence. And soon!
Summer Doldrums
Today I have made two efforts to get out of the house and take a walk. Both times I found myself hauling my ass back home in the rain. I guess it is just not in the cards for me to go out today.
To alleviate my boredom I have tried— really tried— to spend my time productively. Over the last hour IÂ have fired up the dishwasher, bagged recyclables and even made preparations to vacuum the floor. The bugger is being productive is dull as dishwater. What’s more, I had a creative itch to scratch. Not wanting to bother cleaning this up so I would have a work surface, I decided to venture around the block. It didn’t take long for me to find inspiration.
This piece is entitled “Orphans”.
When I got done I noticed I had an extra leg, so I said “What the hell?”. Waste not, want not.
Surprisingly enough, it didn’t take much time for my petit opus to garner attention. This man not only stopped and looked at it, but he also took several photographs of it with his cell phone.
Back to bagging up trash.
Miss Heather
Found By The Waste Treatment Plant
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
One can expect a great many things when he (or she) walks by our local sewage treatment plant: men busy at work, garbage, STENCH just to name a few. Now you can throw in photographs from someone’s birthday party. Here they are.
Our protagonist got a new belt…
and a new book. The year inscribed on the back of this photograph is 1971. That might explain the suit to the far left. I wonder when this will come back in style?
The 1970’s were much kinder to women. Her top looks like something one would find today. Mod is back in style.
All in all, it was rather strange to find scenes of domestic happiness strewn along such a desolate stretch of road. One cannot help but think about where this person is now. In any case, I couldn’t get these images off my mind. Hence why I felt like sharing them this Monday morning. Very odd indeed!
Miss Heather
Manhattan Avenue Bike Lanes Finally Pay Off!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I do not ride a bicycle. I have made this clear. It’s not that I am against them, mind you. Knowing how easily distracted I am I have the presence of mind to know that I should entrust with my well being or simply go on foot. That said, the police appeared to be en force yesterday to ensure our new bike lanes were used by bikes. The result was quite delightful. Even to someone like me.
Anyone who lives in north Greenpoint knows this guy. He can usually be found hanging out by Pio Pio Riko at the corner of Huron Street. When not hanging out, he rides his bike and plays music for everyone’s edification. Some people find him intimidating. I don’t. This chap simply is who he is. What’s more, he has been on a 1950’s kick of late.
The “Bicycle Man” (as I call him) rarely plays music I dislike. He has excellent— if a little eclectic— taste in music. Therefore I cannot for the life of me understand why he cut off the best part of this song. I (and I suspect I speak for a number of people present) really wanted to shout out “TEQUILA” yesterday afternoon. But alas, it was not to be. Maybe another day. In any case this, his, musical interlude really made my day.*
Miss Heather
*ESPECIALLY after watching a rather drunk and belligerent gentleman being expelled from the junk shop and dealing with someone who tried to haggle a 25 cent photograph down to 15 cents “because he didn’t have the money”. After this gent made his counter offer he noted my expression (hands on face, laughing) and said:
You don’t like it.
To wit I replied:
No, I don’t.
His friend (whoever you are, THANKS!!!) finally ponied up the draconian asking price of 25 cents. If you don’t have money, don’t go shopping. Is this such a difficult concept? For some apparently it is.
Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: Clit – On – Washington
Because fighting global warming or finding a cure for cancer pale in comparison to the untold legions of G train patrons in dire need of pink pubic hair.*
God I love America.
Miss Heather
*I can only wonder if this “hot pink” dye is permanent. If it isn’t I suspect/hope we’ll be seeing men with pink “beards”.
UPDATE: This advertisement can now be found on the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue…
and the Rockaway bound platform of the L at Lorimer Street.
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