Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Subway Poster du Jour: More Fun With Janice
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Mister Heather
Leonard Is Lost!
Bob writes:
Our cat somehow escaped from my apartment in Greenpoint yesterday morning and we’re desperate to find him. Would you be able to post something on your blog? His name is Leonard and he disappeared from our apartment on the south side of Milton Street, near Franklin. We asked around and a couple people have told us that they saw him in the backyards between Milton and Noble, though one woman told us that she saw him on Noble Street, headed towards Manhattan (all sightings were last night, Weds 8/13). He is an extremely large (though not fat or fluffy — he’s more big-boned and muscular) all-black cat with pretty green eyes.
This could describe a lot of cats, but Leonard’s distinguishing characteristic is his size — people have said that he looks like a black panther. He’s very friendly, though, and he’s probably very scared right now, as he’s never really been outdoors before. I’ve attached a picture, and anyone who sees him can contact me at rghammond (at) gmail (dot) com. We’re offering a reward for anyone who finds him.
If you have seen Leonard please contact Bob immediately. Thanks!
Miss Heather
UPDATE August 15, 2008: Leonard has been found!
Hillary Clinton Says Superfund Us!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This comes courtesy of the Newtown Creek Alliance:
Senator Clinton Calls on EPA to Use Superfund Authority to Conduct Contamination Tests Along Newtown Creek
Clinton: Testing Is Necessary to Determine Whether Newtown Creek Should Be Placed on the National Priorities List
Washington, D.C. – Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton today urged the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City. In a letter to EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson, Senator Clinton raised concerns over the proximity and potentially harmful effects of hazardous substances regulated under the Environmental Response, Compensation, and Liability Act (CERCLA) to New Yorkers living in communities along Newtown Creek.
“New Yorkers living in communities near Newtown Creek have suffered long enough,” said Senator Clinton. “We know that there are dangerous chemicals in the soil, water and air at sites around Newtown Creek. It’s time to put the resources of the Superfund program to work to conduct additional tests at known contamination hotspots to see whether a federal cleanup should go forward.
Senator Clinton is the Chair of the United States Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works Subcommittee on Superfund and Environmental Health. In October, 2007 Senator Clinton held a hearing to examine the federal Superfund program’s capacity to protect public health and to investigate reasons for recent slowdowns in the pace at which sites are added and toxic waste sites are cleaned up under the program.
Here’s a copy of Senator Clinton’s letter to Administrator Johnson:
August 13, 2008
The Honorable Stephen L. Johnson
Administrator
United States Environmental Protection Agency
Ariel Rios Building – 1101A
1200 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20460
Dear Administrator Johnson:
I am writing to request that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), use its Superfund authority to conduct preliminary tests at four known hotspots along Newtown Creek, in New York City (Attachment A).
Newtown Creek, which borders Brooklyn and Queens, is well known as one of the most polluted industrial waterways in North America, where chemicals from factories along the bed of the Creek have seeped into the soil, sediment and water. The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation and the New York State Office of the Attorney General have found evidence that certain hazardous substances regulated under CERCLA have been released at the Newtown Creek site (Attachment B). It is time the federal Superfund program conduct the testing that is necessary to determine whether Newtown Creek should be on placed on the NPL list. As the Chair of the Superfund and Environmental Health Subcommittee and a member of the Senate’s Environmental and Public Works Committee, it is of particular interest to me.
For years, the residents in the vicinity of Newtown Creek have been forced to live, work and play with toxic fumes in the air and contaminated water, soil and sediment on the ground. This exposure has led to community concern about potential pockets of serious illness. Superfund was established to address abandoned hazardous waste sites. The factories responsible for much of the chemical contamination have long since closed and as the cleanup authority of last resort, I see the federal Superfund program as the most effective way to solve this longstanding problem once and for all. The people of Newtown Creek have suffered long enough.
I appreciate your prompt attention and response to this matter.
Sincerely,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton. However, I am very pleased to learn she has thrown her support behind getting Newtown Creek the attention and remediation it so sorely deserves. Thanks Hill!*
Miss Heather
P.S.: Quick reminder, there will be a boat tour of Newtown Creek next month. Click here for more details. Seeing —and more importantly smelling— is believing. Trust me.
*I also LOVE these striped pants. Seriously.
A Cowboy In Greenpoint?!?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
When one utters the word Greenpoint a great many things come to mind. “Little Poland”, a rather large oil spill, the eastern seaboard’s largest waste treatment plant, foul odors and the G train are all items— which for better or for worse— that are associated with the neighborhood I call home. And now you can add to the list cowboys. Yes, cowboys.
I bumped into Lenwood on Greenpoint Avenue today. Actually, I bumped into him twice. First on the south side of Greenpoint Avenue: I told him I loved his hat (because I did) and went on my merry way. Upon arriving back to the Garden Spot of the Universe three hours later I happened upon him again. This time on the south side of Greenpoint Avenue. My curiosity got the better of me so I struck up a conversation.
Miss Heather: So what’s the deal? Are you trying to take over the block or something?
Lenwood: (laughter) No, I’m just here for some film work. (comes closer, whispers) There are some very exciting things going on here. See that building across the street?
Miss Heather: Yes.
Lenwood: They’re going to be filming a television show over there. Lipstick Jungle. It has Brooke Shields in it, do you know who she is?
Miss Heather: Oh yes, I know who she is. They’ve been filming around here A LOT lately.
Lenwood: You should contact their central casting. Tell them you want to be an extra. You’ll earn $100 a day!
Miss Heather (laughing): Oh, no, no, no! I prefer to be behind the camera not in front of it. In fact, that’s what I have been doing today: taking pictures! You belong in front of the camera, not me. You have much more savoir faire than I do!
Lenwood: If you take pictures, why haven’t you taken one of me?
Miss Heather: I figured you wouldn’t want me to, so I didn’t ask.
Needless to say, Lenwood obliged. What’s more, he recommended that I take a picture of him posing in front of the Polonaise Terrace. I did. It was the best of the lot!
He was laughing when I took this photograph —as was I. I then asked him if he’d like me to send him a copy of the photographs I took. He politely declined stating that he will be “traveling soon”. (He is a cowboy after all!) My consolation prize was his business card.
I cannot honestly say I have seen many black cowboys in my 30-odd years of life in New York Shitty and beyond. Much less in Greenpoint— where people of color are slowly becoming a more and more common sight. But if I ever find myself organizing an event I will certainly give Lenwood a ring, he’s a sweetheart!
Miss Heather
THIS WEEKEND: Free/Cheap Spay & Neutering
This Saturday, August 16, the ASPCA mobile veterinary clinic will be back at Petland Discounts providing cheap and/or expensive spay and neutering services.
Petland Discounts
846 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
For more details (including how you should prepare your pet for surgery) click here and you’ll be directed to the ASPCA’s web site.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Shhh!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
George Diaz, self-professed bad ass and proprietor of Latino Laughter hams it up for the camera.
Although this is a couple years old I thought I’d leave you with this video showing Grenpoint’s one and only George in action. Enjoy!
Miss Heather
My Trip To Jackson Heights
As I mentioned in this post, yesterday I accompanied some visiting friends of mine on a day trip Jackson Heights, Queens. Nary a hipster was to be found when I got off the train at 82nd Street. Rather, I was greeted by this anthropomorphic garbage can and a chap standing directly across from it. He promptly made a rumble in his throat and proceeded to hock up a loogie. “This is going to be interesting” I thought to myself. It was.
My guests are quite the bargain hunters. To this end we perused a number of shops for deals and steals. I found this store on 82nd incredibly amusing. When I hear the phrase “Live it… in leather!” the movie Top Gun does not come to mind. Although the “Iceman” did strike me as possibly having those kind of inclinations.
I’d pay good money to see Val Kilmer in this get up (located just across the street).
Back in graduate school I had to take a course on Constructivist art and architecture in Latin America. Rest assured this class was as boring— probably more so— than it sounds. Looking at architecture reminiscent of that hideous parking lot gracing Queens Plaza is no way to go through life. A classmate of mine agreed, so we’d bring in copies of the Village Voice and HX and review the personal ads. We were always fascinated by the sheer quantity of kinky adverts hailing from Queens. Ten years later on Roosevelt Avenue it all began to make sense.
Hell, even the culinary fare had a certain smuttiness to it.
I don’t think this requires any comment.
But as I stated earlier the purpose of our mission was to shop. And shop we did. This 99 Cent store (America’s 99 Cent Store) at the corner of 78 Street had some of the most interesting wares I have ever seen.
True to its name, patriotism was present.
What’s more American than dogs playing poker? Don’t everyone speak up at once.
And while you’re there, why not pick up a Chador Barbie backpack (or two) for the young ‘uns?
This brings a whole new meaning to the term “sniff test”. 
All in all, I had a terrific time in Jackson Heights.
I wish I knew about this before I eloped. It sounds intriguing.
But would I pack up and move to Jackson Heights? Probably not. It takes more than fruity underwear, leather men and the Kinng (as cool as he is) to make me feel at home. Some things money can’t buy. For those, I can always trust the G train to deliver.
When I arrived at Court Square the mighty Crosstown Local was waiting to whisk me back to the enchanted village of Greenpoint. Everything seemed normal. Until the train started moving, that is. As if someone had flicked a switch, the rather portly gentlemen across from me started talking. Thinking his conversation was directed to yours truly, I did my best to ignore him. It quickly become apparent I was not the object of his attention after he started rifling through the Chinese laundry bag to his left. (NOTE: if you see someone with a Chinese laundry bag on the subway and said bag does not contain laundry, WATCH OUT).
He pulled out a fifth of Alexi vodka, turned to the right and offered a toot to his “friend”. This would seem unremarkable except no one was sitting next to him. After his imaginary friend declined (I guess he— or she— knows when to say when) he polished off the bottle, put it back and chugged down a bottle of mango juice. DIY screwdrivers. On the G train. At 2:30 in the afternoon.
A Polish woman next to me shot a knowing look my direction. I returned the favor. I speak no Polish whatsoever —and in all probability she speaks little English— but we understood each other:
Welcome to Greenpoint.
I was home.
Miss Heather
Jubilatka Is Closed!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Anyone craving a Polish donut or a little babka before work this morning probably noticed that Jubilatka was shut down by the New York Department of Health yesterday.
Initially I was pretty shocked by this development (I love their apple pies) but when I looked up their latest inspection online what I found was quite horrifying: 45 points*. A maximum of 27 is allowable for a restaurant to pass inspection. Here’s the violation that creeped me out the most:
Plumbing not properly installed or maintained; anti-siphonage or backflow prevention device not provided where required; equipment or floor not properly drained; sewage disposal system in disrepair or not functioning properly.
Looks like I might be shopping for another bakery. Yikes!
Miss Heather
*As a point of comparison, the shuttered Sunview Luncheonette racked up 47 points.
Peace, Love, Understanding And All That Slop
In case the tone of my humble soap box hasn’t made it clear: I hate hippies. As a teenager the whole idea of “peace”, “love” and “understanding” made sense. Then I came of age and entered the workforce; many of my supervisors were former hippies. Baby Boomers.
I suffered a Communication Breakdown. First it was the way I wrote the number eight. I did not write the number eight like an infinity symbol. Rather, I scribed VIII by making two discrete circles atop each other. “Cindy” said it looked too much like the number 3. I was written up. I didn’t smile and say “Hi” every morning when “Cindy” came into the office. This too was noted by Human Resources and I was taken to task. As was the (second) time I brewed coffee (given to me by “Cindy” for Secretary’s Administrative Professional’s Day), noting that I would like the office vultures to leave me a cup. Then I was admonished for not fostering a “sense of community”. So much for shiny happy people holding hands.
The age old hippie argument seems to be if people can/will communicate with each other better everything will be hunky dory. I disagree. I am a firm believer in smiles and nod school of diplomacy. When someone screams at you in a foreign tongue (and you’re not standing in front of a moving bus) put on a grin, shake your head and look like you understand. Or feel really bad. Guilt becomes Americans.
Simply put, if everyone— everywhere— was better able to communicate with each other we’d be in a helluva lot more trouble than we’re already in. The U.N. would be a diverse chorus of “fuck yous” in every language imaginable with stenographers running for cover.
What is my reasoning for the previous, you ask? Very simple: 1105 Manhattan Avenue.
El Encanto Mexicano.
More specifically, what graced its front door. In Greenpoint this is tantamount to wearing your aunt Tillie’s 300 thread count white sheets at the Million Man March: highly inadvisable.
Amusingly enough, another missive was scrawled in front of Papasito’s.
Mexico Sucks!!
Papasito’s fare is very tasty, but I would not call it Mexican. When I want Oh my god where have you been all my life south of the border vittles I go to…
But did I choose to take up the matter of why Poland sucked, Mexico sucked, or Papasito’s being Cal Mex (as opposed to being more traditional) fare? No I didn’t; I simply smiled and nodded.
Miss Heather
*Very honorable mention: Taco Bite, right here in north Brooklyn. Not only do they serve up “Jamaica” (sweetened hibiscus tea) but they are the damned nice to boot. Check them out!
Subway Posters du Jour: L.I.C. Vs. Greenpoint
Everyone knows that Long Island City has a reputation for being a haven of ladies of the evening. Queens Crap has written about it (on more than one occasion). Mr. Heather has even had the pleasure of riding the B61 bus while a satisfied customer crowed to his buddy via cell phone:
I banged her twice for $300!
Yes, it would appear that prostitutes are to Long Island City what Colt 45 thievery and pageantry are to Williamsburg (or alcoholism is to Greenpoint): a dubious, but highly documented distinction. One which I recently learned merited special mention at 23rd – Ely Avenue.
My parents always impressed upon me the value of getting a good education. While I cannot say that it has netted me much in the way of compensation, I do consider it time (and money) well spent. But I realize not everyone likes to hit the books as much as I do. Some people require slight different forms of motivation: for them there is Keller Business School…
or the Queens-bound platform of the Crosstown Local at Greenpoint Avenue. Shortly after I took the above photograph a man sporting the ubiquitous iPod with earbud combo stopped in front of this poster and roared:
AWWWWRIGHT!
Watch out Long Island City. Your next pupil (or john) just might hail from the Garden Spot of the Universe!
Miss Heather
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