Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Interesting Landlord Rant
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This angry communique comes from the wailing wall of the New York Shitty collective consciousness. In other words it can be found on the Craigslist online real estate classifieds. Diana G (who found this missive) writes:
I am astounded by the real estate taxes in particular that have skyrocketed so high and wondering if that is true about the developers.
My answer: it probably is. Property taxes are such that many mom and pop landlords in Greenpoint are now “property rich” but cash poor. The most troublesome thing is this landlord’s woes are hardly over. When all the condos being built here (with the help of major tax bennies) start getting dumped into the rental market (and they will) this man could very well lose his shirt.
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Photo du Jour: Dangerous
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Given all the times I have stood on the Smith – 9th bound platform and watched people check each and every pay phone for change, I am very surprised to see that no one has seen fit to filch this cigarette. Seriously.
Miss Heather
Interesting Consumer Item Of The Week
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I discovered these t-shirts for sale at the “Big D Store” on Manhattan Avenue and felt compelled to pass them along.
I’m not too sure how well “Bluto” (much less a Bluto sporting a “Black Power” salute) dovetails with the concept of “justice”. I was under the distinct impression Bluto was a bully and a masher. But given the paltry asking price of $4.99 (marked down from $58.00!) I suppose getting stuck on semantics is a moot point.
Miss Heather
The City That Never Sleeps
I have never understood why New York City is called this. If what I have seen over the years is any indication there are people sleeping all over our fair city. In North Brooklyn McCarren Park seems to be a napping spot of choice.
Unless one is homeless I cannot profess to understand this practice. Sleeping in public opens up one’s person to a variety of unsavory number acts. I learned about a number of such deeds from a Sargent at the Briarwood headquarters of the Transit Police several years ago. First you have the lush workers. These are the people who case drunks on the subway and steal their wallets. One evening “the Sargent” was on “lushworker” duty. He spied a rather intoxicated gentleman in a subway car and watched him.
Sure enough, someone ducked in and started to move in. When the constabulary came to the rescue what they found was completely unexpected; their “perp” was administering oral sex to this man. Both were taken into custody and the “recipient” was told what happened to him once he sobered up. One can only imagine the look on his face when he got the news.
Simply put, there are many reasons not to sleep in public. If being robbed or becoming the participant in some anonymous subway sex act is not enough to motivate people to be more mindful of their surroundings, maybe being watched with rapt interest by some drunk dude is. And that’s what I saw in McCarren Park last weekend.
The footage video does not do this scenario justice. I shit you not this chap spent a good ten seconds just staring at this woman. Had this man been in better control of his faculties who knows what he would have done? The lesson here is a simple one: a lot of criminal acts are crimes of opportunity. If you do not give someone the opportunity to commit a crime, it is very unlikely one will occur. McCarren Park is not your backyard.
Be careful.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Au Naturel
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I recently discovered an incoming link which (in my opinion) is one of the biggest compliments I have ever received. I was rather touched by it and feel compelled to share it here. Luke White writes:
If you can overlook the language (if you can’t, maybe New York isn’t the place for you?) this blog is a pretty much perfect encapsulation of the absolute insanity of Greenpoint. Greenpoint is the drunk six-foot-four eighty year old in a perfectly tied bowtie and with a faint intriguing stench about him who stands on the street corner stacking matchboxes and singing folk hymns…
Don’t forget the Polish elves frolicking in the vestments nature gave them, Luke. That’s why I pay the “big bucks” to live here.
God I love Greenpoint.
Miss Heather
The Greenpoint 100 Is Back!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Today I received an email from the Friends of The Greenpoint Library. The Greenpoint 100 is back and hopefully it will be the best one ever! Jen and Shara write:
CALL FOR ARTISTS
The Friends of the Greenpoint Library call for works to be donated by artists living or working in Greenpoint. The works will be sold to benefit the Greenpoint Branch of Brooklyn Public Library. We are accepting works in all mediums (maximum size 11X14 inches). All work will be sold for $25 each. The show will be juried by local gallery owners and prizes will be awarded.
Email contact information and .jpg to: thefriendsofgreenpointlibrary (at) gmail (dot) com
If you are one of the first 100 qualified artists to respond to the call, you will receive a reply with an ID number from 1-100 and the address of where your work must be mailed or delivered.
Accepted artists’ work must be received by Friday September 26 to be included in the exhibit.
Last year this event raised $1,300. I participated and I not only had a lot of fun, but I also got a really beautiful photograph for a mere $25.00 and supported a great cause. Are you going to be one of the Greenpoint 100?
The juried show is scheduled for Saturday, October 4 starting at 11:00 a.m.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Sunflower
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
NYC Gentrification Watch: Die Yuppie Scumday
I am getting sick and bloody tired of this “I’m a real New Yorker and I hate gentrifiers” diatribe. Exactly who is a Real New Yorker you ask? That is debatable. Who is a “gentrifier”? This is an easy question to answer: unless you are of 100% Native American birth (or descended from slaves) you are, indeed, a gentrifier.
There were a great many people in Europe who didn’t find their situation satisfactory so they moved to the “New World”. Plymouth Rock didn’t have a Starbuck’s so they built one. In a manner of speaking. Their Native American neighbors accepted them. At first.
But then they (and by “they” I mean “we”) got uppity. We wanted more— we wanted “civilization”. We wanted “ownership” of land. Something our “savage hosts” did not see fit to give us due to their nascent anarcho-syndicalist leanings (I won’t call them “Reds” because that would be racist). As a result there were fights. Battles even. But we won, albeit it in an insidious manner: disease. Smallpox and syphilis mostly.* Good for us.
I am piecing together a very informative and entertaining presentation to illustrate this fact to those who are unable or unwilling to accept the fact they are gentrifiers. In the meantime I’d like to share this touching tale of gentrifier acceptance from (where else?) GREENPOINT.
I went off on this piece of advertising back in April. In a nutshell:
- I found this developer’s claim of 240 Richardson Street as being in the heart “East Williamsburg” (or anywhere else for that matter) tenuous at best. It’s Greenpoint— but you know Garden Spot of the Universe (oil spill, waste treatment plant and all) isn’t “sexy”. They’re aiming for “L” appeal.
- “Village” suggests a friendly and collegial atmosphere. Something clearly lacking in this corner of Greenpoint.
Until recently.
Back in April this woman called her new neighbors “fucks”.
Now she has seen fit to address them as “pigs”.
It is a small— but significant step— in Greenpoint gentrification. Before you know it we’ll all be holding hands and singing Kumbaya.
Miss Heather
Photo Credits: “pigs” and “fucks” Lisacat.
*For those of you who harbor guilt, no worries; they gave us chlamydia.
The Greenpoint Blogosphere Goes To the Dogs!
Literally. Last night I was contacted by a fellow Greenpointer on a mission. Suzy writes:
dear miss heather,
would you be so kind as to take a gander at my blog?
today’s feature is BOB THE BARC DOG. i hope that you will consider adding this blog as a link in your blogroll; my aim is to get more exposure for the doggies from BARC…
thanks,
suzy
p.s. bob is known as hope at the shelter. my BF said we cannot call him that; as it is a girlie name, so we call him bob hope.
I do not agree with Suzy’s boyfriend. As it would happen we have a new semi-feral cat in our pride. I wanted to name it “Babka” but Mr. Heather panned the idea. Then I named it Sheba. Mr. Heather liked that name so we rolled with it. Until, that is, until we discovered Sheba was, in fact, a HEba. That changed everything.
Solomon didn’t seem to suit his temperament (he’s a bit of a asshole), so I named him Sue. Despite being trapped and having his “manhood” removed, “Sue” does not seem the least bit upset by his name. As long as I pony up the catnip pellets once a week and dole out the kibble on time he is puuuurfectly content. Otherwise it gets ugly.
Just like Mr. Cash, Sue likes to sing. Especially when he has not has his weekly allotment of catnip pellets. His venue of choice is outside my bedroom window. His audience is our resident felines. Sue likes to regale them with tales about the “nip” taken from his ear. Over so many beers. Sue is one bad dude (or fancies himself as such).
(Bob) Hope isn’t. Suzy writes:
Bob is darned near perfect, except that he does seem rather depressed. I’m waiting for him to come out of his shell, and will update this post over the next couple of days. We’re having a bob‒b‒que in his honor tomorrow night. I betcha he likes steak … just a hunch.
One more thing ‒ Bob makes his bed.
When I brought Bob home last night, I took a king ‒size quilt from the closet, laid it down and folded it in half. Bob took over from there…
we were watching tv, and I guess it was too loud for him, so he dragged his bed into the other room, folded it again, and went to sleep. Bob kinda rocks.
It’s a good thing that Bob is an arranger of bedclothes, as Bob really, really likes to sleep.
This poor fella has been in the care of the wonderful BARC shelter since APRIL! He was found on the street and brought to BARC by the cops. Bob weighs about 50 pounds, is about six years old, is neutered, and has all of his shots. He likes men, women, children, cats, and other dogs. I’m honestly trying to find something wrong with him, but, so far, no go.
Nor do any the lovely (and loving) dogs Suzy writes about on her blog. Check it out!
Miss Heather
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