Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Last Minute Gift-Giving Ideas From The Garden Spot
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
What do you give the person who has everything? Well, a blood test immediately comes to mind to yours truly but here are a few other suggestions.
Just for Fun has lotto tickets, Polish and American flags, fake butts, elephants, American currency toilet paper and a “Sassy Girl” who drops her top and sings a saucy tune. What’s more they’re open on Sundays from noon to 5:00 p.m. and as far as I know is the only place in our fair burgh that sells butt plugs. Stick that in your chimney and smoke it!
Just For Fun
982 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
When I encountered this delightful item at the Thing I couldn’t help but feature it. First I played a round of “Tower to Tokyo” with it. Then I proceeded to use it like c.b.:
Busted Rubber this is Bearded Clam talking. There’s a whole bunch of Tampax ahead. Do you read me? That’s a big 10-4!
If sculptures of hairless hoo-hoos are not your taste the Thing also has this one.
I’m not too sure what the point of this object of art is but if you want to shake up your office Christmas party (if your office has one and you have a job) this is undoubtedly to item bring. Sure, it’ll set you back $70.00 but just imagine the look on the H.R. person’s face! Human Resource professionals are (in my experience) the most worthless waste of human flesh this side of the post-Perestroika world. If they’re going to fire you, the least you can do is make the amount of paperwork they have to file copious and interesting. Professional bureaucrats hate that sort of thing.
And this ought to do it.
Vagina Sculptures ($50.00-$70.00 each)
The Thing
1001 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: Fire Escape Santa
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Clay Street.
Miss Heather
Mind Your Pooches This Holiday Season
It has been brought to my attention that an alert has been posted at the McCarren Park dog run admonishing dog owners to keep a careful eye on their pets. As many of you, dear readers, are already well aware poaching pets for handsome reward money has unfortunately become a cottage industry in our fair city— and with the economy in the shitter I have little doubt we will be seeing more of this kind of thing for the foreseeable future. Per this article from the Greenpoint Gazette (which I strongly recommend each and every one of you read) no such incidents have occurred in Greenpoint to date. But nonetheless I would advise all dog owners to be exercise extra caution this holiday season.
Miss Heather
The Viridian Gets Christened
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
In light of the recent spate of vandalism on this block (just a week ago one of my neighbors, a 50-something retired couple, had their car keyed rather viciously) I cannot honestly say this surprises me. As a matter of fact I am amazed it took someone this long to “modify” this edifice. While this act does little to beautify Green Street (which is looking damned rough of late) I do have to hand it to “acre” for having the chutzpah to leave his mark by the front door.
Miss Heather
Tonight At Clayspace
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Starting this evening at 6:00 p.m. Clayspace 1205 will be hosting a three day holiday show and sale at the Greenpoint Manufacturing and Design Center. Among the items for sale will be dinnerware, home accessories, jewelry “samples and seconds”, sculpture and photography. This show was organized by Joyce Sopp, of Glyph Designs and will feature more artists than I can possible list here. I wholeheartedly encourage you to check it out!
Three Day Holiday Sale & Party
December 12th- 14th; Friday 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.,
Saturday 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m., Sunday 12:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
Clayspace 1205, GMDC Building
1205 Manhattan Ave
Suite 2.4.1
Brooklyn, NY 11222
(718) 383-5400
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season: Santa With Bathtub
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Kent Street.
Miss Heather
Employment Opportunity!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Anyone interested in becoming the manager of Greenpoint’s newest watering hole should send their resume to: ed (at) ravenbrands (dot) com.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Video Du Jour: The Moonshine Soliloquy
I have said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing has facilitated the culture of narcissism in this country more than the cellular phone. No matter where I go someone will undoubtedly be jawing or texting away with total abandon. When I go to the grocery store I will be invariably be stuck behind some woman multi-tasking a stroller, tendering her credit card and yammering away. BADLY. Restaurants are fair game as well. While I’m trying to savor my enchilada I am edified about how Lauren couldn’t possibly be Jewish because she is from Nebraska. I recently came home from dinner in Sunnyside via the B24. The entire ride home I had to listen to the bus driver in a heated argument with his girlfriend about something or other via his Bluetooth.I don’t know what it was about and I don’t want to know; I just want to get back to Greenpoint alive. Is this so much to ask? For a measly $2.00 (and given the MTA’s current financial woes), perhaps it is. But back to the purpose of this post.
In addition to impolite cell phone users yours truly also hates shouting. Unless there is a damned good reason to shout (e.g.; someone is about to walk in front of a moving bus, Barack Obama is elected president, New Year’s Eve, a rousing round of the World Cup, being batshit crazy, etc.) I see no reason for to engage in this practice.
Therefore you can imagine my delight when I had the pleasure of listening to some man scream profanity like a howler monkey into his cell phone for a solid twenty minutes last night in front of my apartment building. I was not prepared (How can one be ready for such an eventuality?) but I did manage to get some usable footage (crank up the volume for maximum f-bombtastic fun!). I’m not too sure what set him off. I think it is about a $400 phone bill. Or something. In any case be patient and savor “Moonshine Soliloquy” at the end. It’s worth the wait.
In the clarity that is 20/20 hindsight I could have assisted this chap. Mister Heather has a stash of applejack. I could have readily offered this to this gent in exchange for him shutting the fuck up. Or I simply could have dumped it on his head and lit a match. Either way it would have been a sad waste of hard liquor.
Miss Heather
Image Credit: hdforindies.com
‘Tis The Season: We Have The Biggest Balls Of All!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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