Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Collect All 10!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Urban Jungle
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
My neighborhood is known for a number of things. Being the vanguard of fashion is not one of them. This is a shame as I have noticed that although a number of things in my neighborhood have changed, there “look” here has not. As crazy as it may sound the tools of the fashion trade for the ladies in the Garden Spot are not too different than what is to be found in Texas. Black leather mini skirts, stiletto heels, UV ray kissed skin, blue eyeshadow, prominently displayed (and often augmented) breasts and hair (preferably blond, but any day-glo shade of red will suffice in a pinch) coaxed into forms that would make Gaudi proud
are to my fair burgh what the little black dress and a pair of Manolos are to our friends across the East River.
It should be noted that although there is a general disdain amongst Greenpoint gals for the laws of nature there is one thing they all revere: they loves them some leopard print.
Tiger print.
Zebra print.
Dalmation print.
Fake fur.
You name it: if it once prowled the plains of the Serengeti I can assure you it graces the physique of many a lady here in Greenpoint. Enough so that on any given day the not-so-mean streets of my neighborhood look like an outtake from Mutual of Omaha’s Animal Kingdom. To prove my point I recently grabbed my camera and put on my Marlon Perkins thinking cap to capture some of these exotic birds of prey. Follows is slide show of what I found— along with a few oldies but goodies. Enjoy!
This one’s for you ladies of Greenpoint. I for one think you’re beautiful! NOw if you don;t mind I’m off to purchase a gallon of Clairoxide.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox
On April 9, 2009 at 5:37 p.m. Lisa wrote:
walking down franklin earlier and witnessed an old man – stopping traffic – to complain to the cops about “the most revolting thing he had ever seen. outside dandelion wine.” of course hearing this just made me turn back for my phone. either my camera phone isn’t that great, or i’m a lousy camera-phone-photographer, because this pic (as seen at left— ed. note) does not in any way do this massive mound justice. i encourage you to walk by yourself (it’s not right outside dandelion, closer to java.)
I had a little time on my hands so I decided to swing by. It was not at all difficult to find.
Here’s another shot that better establishes a sense of scale.
Methinks this bad boy gets five stars— or would that be bars?
Miss Heather
Willamspoint Photos Du Jour: People In My Neighborhood
Bedford Avenue
Metropolitan Avenue
Grand Street
Franklin Street
Kent Avenue
Maspeth Avenue
Manhattan Avenue
Miss Heather
Meet Slumdog Jack
This adoptable pup is not only a real cutie, but he also has an amazing story. I’ll let my friend over at District Dog, Rob Maher, fill you in:
…I wanted to thank you for all for the love that you have graced Jack with over the past few months. When I made the decision to pick up a weak, hungry, emaciated street dog with injuries, I never imagined that his story would touch so many of you. I must admit that his will to overcome his situation and the sheer good fortune that he would make so many friends around the world (in person and over facebook) continue to bring tears to my eyes. He is a special pup — and he has some very special friends.
There are two very important things to remember about Jack’s journey to America. First, he endured a grueling 30+ hour journey, spending most of that time in a cage, sitting at customs warehouses in Mumbai and Newark, NJ and locked into the noisy and dark cargo hold of a 777 aircraft (that for the longest period, nearly 18 hours). Jack had never been in a cage before and certainly had never flown or traveled very far from the streets of Mumbai. When Kristen and her parents picked Jack up at the Continental Airlines cargo center, they found a scared but brave and grateful pup who had patiently waited to be reunited with his foster family.
The second and perhaps most important part of the story to remember is that Jack is still not home and still needs one. We and he desperately need your help to get him there. When he was adopted a few months ago, the couple who offered to take him were very excited by the prospect of a new dog into their home. Of course, getting Jack to the US from India presented a whole host of challenges, including potential trauma to the animal, logistics of the actual transport, and cost of the whole process. In my analysis at the time, I decided that the best thing I could do for Jack would be to send him to the US to his new adoptive parents. Though several friends of mine in India had openly requested that they be allowed to adopt Jack.
To cut a long story short, Jack’s adoptive parents have rejected him. They believe now that because Jack is an alpha dog, he will be unable to co-exist in harmony with another alpha in their household. Though evidence suggests that a puppy’s manifestation of alpha tendencies are altered when they are spayed and neutered and that obedience training can also resolve most lingering issues between alpha dogs, the adoptive family is not inclined to try to make this work.
So what did Jack do wrong? Well, not much. Adjusting into a new home — especially one with existing dogs, can be difficult. Jack co-existed well with the female dog in the house but did not get along with the male one. While many argue that that behavior is temporary and subject to comfort and training of the dog, that is not the interpretation that Jack’s erstwhile adoptive parents have taken.
Here is where I need your help. PLEASE read about Jack and his journey and help get Jack settled into a new and loving home. For all of you who don’t know Jack, he is a nearly six month old mixed-breed puppy from near Bandra (W), Mumbai, India. He loves human interaction, is largely house-trained, and has all of his vaccinations in place. More importantly, Jack is a survivor who will make a loving and protective dog if you allow him to.
We don’t know yet if Jack is good around children, so we would need to figure that portion of his personality. We have been asked why we simply don’t bring him back to India, where several families have offered to adopt him. Simply put, the option remains on the table but given the cost, the trauma, and the energy required, I’m hesitant to pursue it .
Anyone interested in giving this amazing lad a new leash on life (Yeah, it’s a bad pun— sue me) should contact Rob at rob (at) doghabitat (dot) org. Be advised that all potential adoptees will be screened by the staff at Dog Habitat.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Zoo York
5th Avenue
Washington Avenue
St. Mark’s Avenue
Bedford Avenue
Metropolitan Avenue
North 1 Street
Nassau Avenue
Manhattan Avenue
Miss Heather
Williamspoint Video Du Jour: Slow Down
On April 6, 2009 my buddy down at Brooklyn11211 wrote (in regards to this post):
What is more wacky is why there is a sign for the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel on Metropolitan Avenue in Williamsburg.
To wit I replied:
It’s your ‘hood, dude— you tell me!
Which brings me to the above bit of signage. It is one of several such signs that some rugged individualist has seen fit to erect on Maspeth Avenue across the street from Cooper Park (which I should add is firmly located in the 11211 zip code). While the provenance of these signs is unknown the people I spoke to on this block agreed that “crazy drivers” deemed them necessary. What I wanted to know is if they work. So I took a leisurely stroll down the block to find out.
I suspect anyone who is reading this post and has the pleasure of interfacing with 311 (it’s a hit or miss affair— some operators are better than others) will agree that filing complaints in this manner seems to be a futile endeavor. This has often been my experience, anyway. But dial them anyway, take down the complaint number and forward it to your community board. Yes, this will entail some work on your part, dear readers, but I suspect we can all agree that one person— much less a child— hit by a speeding car is one too many.
Miss Heather
Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: More Naughty Bits
Nassau Avenue
Metropolitan Avenue
There’s nothing in the world quite like north Brooklyn in the springtime.
Miss Heather
The Color Of Living Well
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
(Or: Reader Request Of The Week)
On Friday, April 3, 2009 Richard wrote:
I saw your blog covering all the crappy new construction going up in the city. Could you do a follow-up post with photos that really indicate how poorly these buildings are constructed? I want to see dented garage doors, rust, light fixtures falling off of buildings constructed within the last 10 years. I am no longer local to NYC but I am scavenging the internet in an attempt to gather these kind of images for a project I am working on.
Thanks
I’ll be perfectly frank: ordinarily I bristle at this kind of request. I am the editrix of New York Shitty and in that capacity I determine what gets published and when. What’s more, I am lazy. However when one lives in close proximity to Greenpoint’s favorite “nondo”, The Viridian, finding suitable material for this gentleman’s project is easy enough. Hell, I can knock that out while grabbing a gallon of milk.
First off, even I have to grudgingly concede that Magic Johnson’s funky bunch have done a pretty decent job of making the facade of this building look like it was professionally built and not knocked out by Travis the Chimp. I strongly suspect the fact that I have made light of the lack of quality workmanship on this colossus on more than one occasion probably has something to do with this development. I also imagine one (or two) of their more astute marketing professionals finally deduced that having haphazard hunks of sheet metal hanging in plain view of interested clients coming and going from their sales office may not be conducive to drumming up business. I hope whoever had this startling revelation was compensated generously for his (or her) efforts. But I digress.
Although the front end of the Viridian is looking by all accounts okay (or at least as palatable as possible) nowadays I regret to inform my new friend Richard that the “back end” of this structure (located on Huron Street), well, looks like ass.
The above photograph does not do this craptastic craftsmanship justice. Therefore I decided to shoot a little live footage. Enjoy!
Thank you Richard for putting the fire under my ass to follow-up on my affection for poorly constructed crap. Not only do I think this specimen will “jibe” wonderfully with your project but it gave me some much-needed amusement. How did this come to pass, you ask? Very simple: they’re asking $2,900 a month rent for a two bedroom in this turd.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Frontal shot of the Viridian comes courtesy of Kitchen Prof.
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