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From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From 239 Banker Street
A person we’ll call “J” writes:
Hello!
It’s been great reading about 239 Banker Street after I had moved in from your blog. Already planning my move out.
Work restarted this morning: lots of workers all over the building working on apartments. Of particular interest were the bags of cement in the lobby ready to be turned into concrete, and a work permit that expired in July explicitly prohibiting concrete work. So they took down a STOP WORK order to put in an expired work permit that doesn’t even permit them to do what they’re doing in the building.What a goddamn mess.
New York Shitty analysis: I suppose posting a permit (even an invalid one) is a(n albeit deceptive) step in the right direction. Hilarious.
New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
On the way home from today’s sojourn around north Brooklyn the Mister and I decided to check out the street fair coming to pass on Manhattan Avenue. While certainly enjoyable as always, yours truly made it a point to swing by this booth which was selling Lucha Libra gear. Knowing a sterling opportunity to torment the Mister when I see one, I struck up a conversation with the fellow manning this booth.
Me: I really like this. Unfortunately, I can tell it is too small.
Vendor: I have them in your size.
Me (pleased): You do? That’s great! Of course my husband would not want me to have one.
(The Mister is getting visibly uncomfortable)
Vendor: Your husband?
Me (pointing at the Mister): Yeah, this guy. He knows one day he’d come home from work and I’d go “Lucha Libre” on his ass.
This fellow found this quite amusing and commenced to tell me one of the best tales I have heard in a long time. It was as follows:
I live in Coney Island. One summer I was selling my goods on the boardwalk. One day a man and woman selected and purchased masks. The next day they came back by and gave me a beer. I asked them why. They went on to tell me that the night before they had the best sex they have ever had in their life. I really didn’t want to know that.
Not only did yours truly find this tremendously entertaining, but it reminded me of one of the best reader contributions I have ever received. It dates from October 20, 2008 and comes from right here in north Brooklyn. Without further ado here it is (again):
Rebecca11222 wrote (in an email entitled “Valentines Day for Halloween”):
Found 10/20 on North 9th between Roebling and Driggs. 2nd shot is close-up of invitation.
Hmm, we have a Mexican wrestler mask and a note tucked under the windshield wiper of a car. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Looks like someone from the ‘burg had a little fun last night… albeit in West Nyack, New York! I’m dropping trou, strapping on my mask, hopping on the Metro North and heading to Nanuet without delay!
Kinky upstate sex is the new Williamsburg!
So there have you. In closing I’d like to thank David (who, it should be noted, also books Lucha Libre events!) for making my day. You can check out his wares on Facebook by clicking here (NOTE/CAVEAT: you have to friend him first). Those of you who wish to get your kink on and buy local should be advised Williamsburg’s very own Huitzilli offers an array of wonderful (and affordable) Lucha Libre masks. Tell the wonderful proprietress of this establishment, Emily, that Heather sent you. Have fun, Greenburgers!
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Jerzy Popieluszko Square
Today there were many things afoot in the Garden Spot. One of them (as seen above) was a procession and memorial service honoring the abduction and murder of this public space’s namesake: Jerzy Popieluszko. Those of you who are curious (as I was the first time I saw this) can learn about this fellow’s life (and death) by clicking here. Check it out.
New York Shitty Halloween Watch: Noble Street
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
Taken October 21, 2012.
New York Shitty Halloween Watch: Beadel Street
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
Taken October 17, 2012.
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Thumbs Up
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
It’s not often one sees a PEP officer, much less a SUV full of them, in our fair burgh. Thus I had to document this spotting for posterity. As you can see they were more than happy to oblige this photo op. On a related (and decidedly “down” note), apparently an armed robbery recently came to pass at McCarren Park. You can get the run-down by clicking here.
New York Shitty Halloween Watch: Pumpkins On Parade
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
From Diamond Street.
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Vandervoort Avenue
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Art
This post is dedicated to the fellow who admonished yours truly— ad nauseum— that I was not to take photographs of (t)his building. Not only did he make it quite clear that he either did not know or care that I was perfectly within my rights to do so (I am), but he could not grasp the concept that covering one’s edifice with pugilistic clowns might encourage this type of behavior. Go figure.
Highlights From Community Board 1: Let’s Talk Trash
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
One of the more provocative parts of last week’s convocation— and there were quite a few, I assure you— were two ladies speaking on the subject of illegal garbage can holders.
More specifically: these garbage can holders. Behold the Community Board 1 action regarding them for yourselves, gentle readers (start at 7:28).
New York Shitty analysis:
1. Exactly what constitutes a “beautiful” garbage can holder? If there is in fact such a thing, it in the eye of the beholder.
2. While certainly nice, they are placed on public property (READ: the sidewalk). This is a big no-no.
As these ladies noted, their neighbor is obeying the law:
3. This is not to suggest I am not sympathetic to these ladies’s plight. I am. They brought up a very salient point: the developer of their respective properties did not consider trash collection when designing their respective condominiums. This is clearly a problem. One which should have been prevented at the “planning stage”. Which brings me to…
Yesterday I decided to see how 239 Banker Street’s illegal garbage fixture cum bicycle rack was faring.
Not only is it still there, but among the assorted detritus I found something of interest.
Not one but two boxes which formerly contained stoves. (For those of you who are not in the know, “estufa” means stove in Spanish. Somewhere my high school Spanish teacher is smiling!) As you can see the powers that be behind this illegal conversion are scarcely concerned about getting caught. What’s more, I learned at last week’s proceedings why.
So there have you: fines are simply part and parcel of “doing business”. Given the “lofts” at 239 Banker Street are going for anywhere between $2,700 – $3,400 for 700 square foot (if that) of “living space” nowadays, well, it has become all too clear how effective these “penalties” have been as a deterrent against this landlord continuing to illegal legally lease out this property as residential space.
In closing I will leave you, gentle readers, with the latest bit of “immaculate construction” I spied at 239 Banker Street.
As the screencap of a video I shot on June 3rd of this year indicates, what is now an “apartment” used to be a doorway.* But don’t take my word for it: view the video for yourself.
*For those of you who are wondering, this is perfectly in keeping with the plans for this “hotel”…
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