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Culture on the Cheap
From The New York Shitty Inbox: They’re BAAACK!
Tony (who took the following photographs) writes:
I saw those IDT energy scammers in my hood again. It’s because I heard a lady screaming that got my attention, telling these two guys to get the hell out of her building. I took some pictures as they left 66 Driggs today at 2pm. Watch out!
To read a true tale of woe about this organization’s tactics click here.
Miss Heather
HEADS UP!
IDT Energy is canvassing Greenpoint today in search of more victims clients. I caught the above gentleman attempting to swindle a woman at 12:21 p.m. on Green Street. Those of you who are approached by these people take note: they are NOT employees of Con Edison. They will NOT save you money. They want to rip you off and will use deceptive sales practices to do it. To learn more about what IDT and other so-called “energy providers” are up to click here.
Miss Heather
To Whom It May Concern On Green Street
Filed under: 11222, Asshole, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
If you are the owner of this Honda.
And are wondering why your roof is crushed in.
It’s because the following two fucked-up hipsters decided to make out on your motor vehicle. It must have been a magical moment (or they simply hate imported cars) because our love birds also elected to jump up and down on it as well.
Repeatedly.
At 4:00 this morning.
Miss Heather
The Kent Street Cat
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
This cat (which graces the north-facing wall of The Garden) has been around as long as I can remember. I have noticed all other graffiti that has found its way to this edifice has been removed— but not this kitty. I have long intended to get the story behind this fetching feline. Last night I finally did.
Faced with the prospect of having to eat a jarring combination of (questionably edible) foodstuffs for dinner the Mister and I patronized The Garden. As luck would have it, I recognized one of the owners of this establishment. He was engaged in a conversation with another gentleman but having at long last the opportunity to shed light on this mystery I politely interrupted.
Miss Heather: Pardon me for butting in but aren’t you the owner of this establishment?
Owner: Yes, I am one of them.
Miss Heather: I have a very strange question for you. I took it up with Magda (an employee of The Garden, wonderful woman) as I know she has been working here for some time but she didn’t know…
Owner: (getting curious)
Miss Heather: What’s the deal with the cat on your building? The black cat.
After some thought (and some more Q & A) I got an answer. Here it is, albeit in highly simplified form:
- Approximately 8-9 years ago someone spray-painted this piece of graffiti onto The Garden.
- The owner liked it so much he didn’t see fit to remove it.
- However, the owner of the building didn’t agree, so…
- five years ago he asked someone to cover it up with primer.
- When the person with the primer showed up this gentleman (who the owner of The Garden described as being a “cat person”) had changed his mind. He had grown attached to it.
And so it has remained on Kent Street ever since. I have no idea what the person responsible for this was thinking when he (or she) created this cat. Was his intent vandalism or art? I don’t know and quite frankly I am comfortable with not knowing. It has since become a beloved member of the community and I suspect I speak for many when I say I hope he (or she) stays with us for a very, very long time!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Gentrification Watch: Welcome To The 1970s
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Yes sir, that waterfront rezoning has kicked gentrification in Greenpoint into overdrive. Why, just a few years ago we couldn’t afford spray paint to tag our burned out cars.
Anyone care to guess how long this hilarious item will remain on India Street? From the look of things I’d say this carbecque has been sitting here for at least 48 hours.
Miss Heather
Joe Lentol Is On IDT Energy
Here’s a fact sheet courtesy of Concerned Citizens of Greenwood Heights.
Learn it, live it, love it— or get screwed. The choice is yours.
Miss Heather
Halloween In Greenpoint
Yesterday I had the pleasure dispensing fistfuls of teeth-rotting goodness to children of all ages at the junk shop. The zeal with which I took to executing this task seemed to surprise Larry da Junkman:
That’s really cute.
Me: What?
Larry: You handing out candy. You really like doing this, don’t you?
Me: Of course I do. It’s HALLOWEEN!
Who couldn’t enjoy giving the gift of refined sugar to a Jedi master as sweet as this one?
I like to call this guy “Chicken Little”.
This little Lion King’s make-up got a little discombobulated in transit.
No worries, mom repainted his whiskers and he was good as new! A curious dialog came to pass when I asked this little guy’s parents if I could take his picture.
Father: Are you going to put this online?
Me: Maybe. Probably on flickr.
Father: Do you have a web site?
Me: Yes.
Mother: Is it New York Shitty?
Me: Well actually it is.
Mother: You’re the lady who takes all the pictures!
Me: Whew! I was expecting you to say something a lot worse!
The above two photographs do not do this little fella justice. He was heart-wrenchingly adorable! But Halloween is not just about cherubic faced young ‘uns.
As you can see the guys at Papacitos* got into the Halloween spirit! The above gentleman gyrated for a good 20-30 seconds while exclaiming:
Can you see my junk?
I told him “yes” and gave him a lollipop. Very few things have the power to truly shock me anymore; this is because I was once a civil servant. That said, bipeds were not the only creatures wearing costumes today.
This poodle sported her finest fettle for the occasion.
And I even made the acquaintance of a pirate pup!
As I was handing out candy a woman I know, a bona fide Greenpoint old-timer, pulled me aside and said:
You realize a lot of these people (I was giving candy to) do not live here.
I had honestly not given the matter any thought. This is probably because I do not care.
Halloween is about dressing up, flauting the drudgery and conventions of everyday life and having fun. It is very much a collective experience —not unlike Christmas or New Year’s Eve. It is— in its strange way— about sharing. I am not going to ask for proof of residency before doling out lollipops or Hershey’s Kisses to children. There was more than enough confectioneries and fun to go around. For everyone.**
I suppose this makes me a candy-giving Commie —or a lollipop pimping populist.
Make that a newly zombified lollipop pandering populist —or carnivorous Commie!
BRAINS!!!
Miss “Living Undead” Heather
P.S.: You can see more pix of Halloween on Manhattan Avenue by clicking here.
*Who have made themselves near and dear to my heart by serving up vegan breakfast tacos. Thanks guys!
**Save a CONSTRUCTION WORKER from (where else?) the Viridian who snatched a lollipop from my tray without asking and then proceeded to laugh about it with his cronies (one of whom said “Hey lady, can I suck on a lollipop?”). This chap, dear readers, was a certifiable grade “A” ASSHOLE. The least this man could have done is ASKED FIRST —but I suppose he felt “entitled” to it. Clearly he was not taught good manners like the following child (I gave a heaping helping of candy to today):
Child #1 (after I gave him a fistful of candy): I want a Hershey’s Kiss.
Child #2: You shouldn’t tell people what you want. It’s not very nice.
Miss Heather (to child #2): You my friend have very good manners. For this reason you are getting a Hershey’s kiss.
Kindness and civility go a long way folks. Or at the very least you can show me your “junk” when pandering for junk food. Grabbing shit off my candy tray is just plain RUDE.
Halloween Photos du Jour: Finally!
After getting off to late start I am pleased to announce that 97 Russell Street is getting down to some serious Halloween business! What’s more I got to meet the woman behind some of this madness (she was waiting for her husband to arrive with a lift so they could hoist a ghost onto their tree) and get the 411 as to what is going on.
Apparently the reason they got off to a late start this year (the left-hand side of the yard was still incomplete as of today) was because she went on a trip to Egypt (!) and her hubby didn’t where she had stashed all the Halloween goodness!
Once the aerosol foam insulation dries on this bad boy he’ll be brandishing a meat cleaver! YAY!
This cute little witch holds court with her retinue of ghosts above the front door…
right next to this rather nasty looking fella.
Scaryass clown? Check.
Wraith and an organ? Check.
These skulls on a pike come from Long Island!
I can hardly wait to see what this looks like once they fire up the smoke machine. (YES, they’re going to have one!)
Last week I learned from their neighbors over on Humboldt that there is some long-standing friendly competition between brains behind the Humboldt Hurler and the folks at 97 Russell. As a matter of fact, their properties abut each other —enabling them to keep careful track of each others progress. It’s all in good fun though. The incredibly kind woman at 97 Russell told me today with a hint of pride that their house and 648 Humboldt were featured in the New York Daily News last year. This came to pass because her daughter happens to be a reporter for this publication.
Now that’s what I call an inside scoop!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Fashion Watch
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
The last twenty four hours my inbox has been abuzz with fashion. More specifically the stylings of a certain physician whose office is on Greenpoint Avenue between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street.
Bitchcakes writes:
Walking up Greenpoint Ave yesterday (from Franklin going towards Manhattan Ave), Matt and I noticed this advertisement in a window (attached). It was just screaming your name, so I had to make sure you saw it.
Mike writes:
My name is Mike, I’m one of the writers of the NAG blog– thanks for the bloggy love- we got a lot of hits from you.
This isn’t NAG blog material, but totally up your alley…
The attached picture is of a poster is in one of the newly-renovated buildings on the south side of Greenpoint Ave b/t Manhattan and Franklin. Everything about it says “please don’t let this man touch your privates, even in a medical context.”
What is all the Garden Spot fuss about, you ask?
This guy.
Nice bow tie.
Miss Heather
Comment Of The Week: 156 India Street
I guess I’m late in responding to this, but my then gf & now wife lived at 156, in the back house. I should state that I am a structural engineer. The first time I went there, happy to be invited back to a new girl’s house for the first time, I was absolutely floored by the condition of both buildings on the property.
There were holes in the front house that birds had happily nested in. The hole thing had an odd slant to it. Her friends who lived there asked me if I could do anything, but I knew that reporting it would get the place condemned, leaving them with no place to go and moderate fines for the Owner. Which is pretty much what happened.
My wife moved in with me to a nice place a few blocks away last year, but one of her friends stayed, only to come home to fire trucks & police in front of her house one night. She was given a small window to get her stuff & find a new place to live. As a younger single woman with family & friends in the area, she ended up ok, but there were families in the building who had been there for over 10 years, and I know one Polish family had a profoundly disabled wheelchair ridden child. I can’t imagine what they did.
That there is often no significant penalty to owners/landlords like this is just wrong. There should be criminal penalties associated with this type of abuse.
Rant over!
Yes there should be, but our city doesn’t seem to be too keen on defending the rights of lowly renters. If they were real go-getters they’d own a condo by now.
(Soapbox)
I am not a go-getter. I rent. As do great number of people in this neighborhood. We cannot afford a down payment on a $500,000 condominium and as a result we place our trust in landlords. They are the guardians of our personal safety. Unfortunately all too many of them are like Mr. Nealis.* When landlords fail, we call 311. To little avail. This city should be ASHAMED of itself.
Miss Heather
*Who I am certain would love to have this lot demolished. It’s probably worth more without rent-stabilized housing on it.
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