Reader Contribution Du Jour: Dispatch From The Shit Tits
The cold which has been plaguing me for the last week, alas, precluded me from taking a tour of Greenpoint’s claim to fame: the digester eggs at the Newtown Creek Waste Treatment Plant. Staying home was not a decision I relished making (I really, REALLY wanted to go) but I had the presence of mind to know that what I needed today more than anything was rest. I was right: 15 hours of sleep (and plenty of hot soup) later I feel pretty good. But not as good as New York Shitty reader as frequent contributor, Tony. You see today he celebrated his birthday by taking a few of best buds to tour the tits.
He writes:
We had a great time. When we arrived at 10:20am this morning, there were already two groups of twenty that finished the tour, even though the first tour was supposed to be at 11am! They said over 300 people came on Saturday and although they anticipated doing 4 tours, they did 12. And by the time my tour ended, their were hundreds of people in line stretching back towards the gas station on Greenpoint Avenue. The tour itself was quite minimal.. first you walk closer to the digester eggs than you ever thought you would and their size is overwhelming. You go up 15 floors in an elevator and from there it’s all ooohs and ahhhs up top.
Our tour guy from the architects that built this place (Polshek Partners — Ed. Note) basically shows you all the parts of the plant and the processes, which I won’t reiterate, other than the digester eggs really are in no way a central process towards cleaning our waste, but their sheer awesome shape and scale steal the show, for now… when the entire plant is done, they plan to have an even purple night time glow over the entire plant, which is sure to be both awesome and super-creepy. The pictures I have attached that show what looks like a manhole (people looking into it) -that is a chance to see one hundred feet right into the middle of one of those sludgey digester eggs that each hold 3 million gallons of the good stuff. I’m definitely glad I chose this as my birthday celebration (!!! —Ed. Note) and appreciate those who could show up and see this shit up close and personal.
Being the generous chap Tony is he was kind enough to send me photographs (including the one gracing the beginning of this post) from his excursion. A lot of photographs. Naturally I want to share them with you, dear readers, and to this end I have assembled them into a slide slow for your delectation. Enjoy!
A big New York Shitty shout-out of gratitude goes out (again) to Tony for sharing his Digester Tank experience with us. Thanks!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, October 12, 2009: You can see some more great photographs taken by Victoria Belanger in my photo pool. Check ’em out!
From The New York Shitty Inbox: One Greenpoint Parent Isn’t “Lovin It”
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
A concerned (and seriously pissed off) Greenpoint parent writes: I thought this sponsorship might at least amuse you… (forwarded email follows):
From: (Pissed Off Greenpoint Parent)
Subject: Mc Donalds sponsored Pumpkin Fest??????????
To: (excised)
Date: Saturday, October 10, 2009, 1:01 PMI just got back from Pumpkin Fest and I am appalled. To the point that I bought to my daughter a very cute $2 pumpkin at the green market. Let me describe Pumpkin Fest- people were funneled like cattle to make sure they would give their $5 donation, then would grab a McDonalds bag full of decorations and then a Town Square, Inc. balloon… And is if the corporate co-opting were not bad enough- were was the social aspect? No table to decorate your pumpkin, no real socialization spot to have parents and children interact. Very odd lay out, was (it) not the point to have us socialize, to feel part of the same community?And further (more) nobody at Town Square thinks it is strange in (a) time where we are being very conscientious about what our children should eat that one of the sponsor(s) of this event is McDonalds (and possibly Dunkin Donuts as there was lots of branded products there as well) …But after all, what do we expect from an organization where Exxon Mobil sponsored EARTH DAY in Greenpoint (the same neighborhood they committed one of the worst environmental disasters in American history and still avoid their responsibility)… Maybe I have no irony or no sense of humor or I am just too moralistic. But I am sure corporations do not need to run every event at every level- even the local Halloween celebration is not free from their influence.
(excised), brought to you by Burger King (kidding)
I was present when the previous came to pass (on the back of McCarren Park Field House/”Comfort Station”*). The Polish contingent was confused. The white liberals/do-gooders (with young ‘uns in tow) were silent. The Mister and I (and other children of the 1970’s) were laughing our asses off.** Which brings me back to POGP’s complaint: the corporate presence at north Brooklyn’s parks.
Unfortunately I do not see this changing anytime soon. Given the geo/ego/racial/socio-economic Real Politik factors at play at this park, I see it getting worse. Last week I had a conversation with a woman from the Greenpoint Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library (regarding their upcoming bake/book sale). In the course of our conversation she mentioned that they (The Greenpoint Public Library) wanted to have a Bake Sale at McCarren Park but the constricts (READ: insurance requirements, etc. as outlined by the Parks Department/OSA) made this endeavor prohibitively expensive and therefore, impossible.
I want you, dear readers, to think about this for a moment. McCarren Park is paid for by our tax dollars. It is ostensibly a public space. Yet McCarren Park has been employed as the place of pool parties and flea markets; McDonald’s gets the thumbs up— yet our public library (which is also supported by our tax dollars) gets a thumbs down. Parks for profits, tennis court oaths and bureaucratic intransigence: that’s our future.
Miss Heather
UPDATE, October 13, 2009: Not only has this been reblogged by Gothamist, but the head honcha of Town Square, Susan Anderson wants to have her say. Here it is in all its resplendent glory (as gleaned from the CB1 Yahoo Group which is where Ms. Anderson posted it).
Pumpkin Day in McCarren Park was a community event that was run by volunteers and did not have any corporate sponsorship. We had over 600 pumpkins and gave away more than half of the pumpkins for free. We could have easily charged for the pumpkins and 5 arts/crafts activities that went with each pumpkin, but we chose to not do so. Rather, we chose to make this a voluntary donation so that children and families, who could not afford to pay, would not be excluded or made to feel badly.
Perhaps, your “Greenpoint Mom [who was] not lovin’ Pumpkin Fest” would get involved in planning and volunteering for the next Pumpkin event or, for that matter, any of the other family events that we present in our neighborhood for the benefit of all our children. In fact, we have three more coming up just this month alone for her consideration: Schoolfest next Sunday, another Pumpkin Day on the Saturday thereafter and a Children’s Halloween Parade & Party on the following Sunday. We would definitely welcome her assistance.
Had she been involved, she would have known that McDonalds was not a sponsor of this event. Rather, the local manager donated 200 paper bags on the spur of the moment out of the goodness of her heart. So, let’s celebrate – not denigrate – someone’s generosity, shall we?
And I guess your mom didn’t stay long enough to see all the families and kids socializing on the lawn in McCarren Park. There were over 2,000 parents and kids decorating the pumpkins together, listening to the live music, and enjoying each other’s company. In our view, it typically does not require a table for children to decorate pumpkins or a designated spot for adults to socialize.
As for her view that “people were funneled like cattle,” we do agree that it can be difficult to provide a quality experience for this many people with only a dozen or so volunteers. The enthusiastic magnitude of the turnout far exceeded our expectations. On the other hand, I am unbelievably proud and thankful to our volunteers and the work that they put in that day.
Finally, if she believes Town Square is a corporation, I guess that all I can say is – thank you for the compliment!
All the best,
Susan Anderson
Town Square
Chairperson
Is it me or is this woman simply not “getting” it?
*Which, as any patron of the women’s bathroom will attest, is anything but comfortable. It’s disgusting.
**God bless you, Mel Brooks. You had the presence of mind to know that the best way to fight bigotry and hatred was to make fun of it.
New York Shitty Day Starter: Simple Pleasures
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Last week I saw a hipster wearing a “Mad Hatter’s” chapeau on Manhattan Avenue. Tucked in the band of his hat was a card reading: “I (marijuana leaf) NY”. I got peeved.
Lest I have not made my stance on “vice” clear before I will now: legalize it, regulate it and tax it. I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your homes— in fact, I don’t want to know— and I expect the same courtesy in return. Don’t shit in my proverbial living room and I won’t shit in yours. Call me a curmudgeon, but the biggest impediment to marijuana being decriminalized in my opinion are the hemptards . You know who I am talking about: the burn-outs who hang around Bedford Avenue canvassing to legalize marijuana. Perfect right wing fodder.
Their energy could be used for a better and more subversive use.
I thought to myself. Yesterday I found such as an example: in my wallet. I reached into my “Stripper roll”* to purchase sundries to find something most amusing:
Me: Oh my! I’m not giving you this.
Shop Owner (concerned): ???
Me (handing said promissory note over for his delectation): Look at it.
(Shop Owner and fellow cashier laugh)
Is it my imagination or does George look like a cross of Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and Haile Selassie?
Miss Heather
*A wad of paper money whose higher denominations are on the outer layers for everyone’s edification.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Blue Ribbon
From the Greenpoint Food Market.*
Miss Heather
*Which is pretty damned cool and I encourage everyone to check out. Try the scallion pancakes with coriander mustard. WONDERFUL!
Greenpoint Halloween Watch: The Return of The Humboldt Hurler!
Today yours truly found herself traipsing all over the Garden Spot. First it was a belated visit to the Shit Tits. Then I checked out the Greenpoint Food Market (which I highly recommend). After that I swung over to 180 Frost Street to see what’s shaking. Somewhere in between I checked on the progress of my two favorite Halloween haunts: 648 Humboldt Street (whose staple I like to call “the Humboldt Hurler” which graces the beginning of this post) and 97 Russell Street. The competition is heating up and it’s looking good. Follows is a slide show highlighting their progress. Enjoy!
New York Shitty Analysis: 97 Russell is lagging behind— but we still have 21 days to go!
Miss Heather
FOUND IN WILLIAMSPOINT: Torbie
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Although this flier (which hails from Graham Avenue and Richardson Street) is a week old I am going to post it anyway. If this lovely lady is yours— or you wish to give her a forever home— please contact her rescuer at the above telephone number.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
P.S.: On a related note, tomorrow Muddy Paws will be hosting an adoption event tomorrow, October 11, starting at 2:00 p.m.
Muddy Paws
447 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
Quicklink: Shit My Dad Says
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
When I finally crawled out of bed this morning I was already in dire need of a good laugh. The Mister tossed and turned all night and the our little pride was more adamant than usual about getting their morning kibble. Thankfully Jay Lombard (of Unleash Brooklyn/Dog Habitat) brought the above to my attention: shitmydadsays. Here are some highlights:
October 8, 2009:
I wanted to see Detroit win. I’ve been there. It’s like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.
September 27, 2009:
Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don’t ever say stuff just because you think you should. That’s the definition of an asshole.
September 24, 2009:
I’m sitting in one of those TGI Friday’s places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth.
September 23, 2009:
You’re gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it’s not the size of the asshole you worry about, it’s how much shit comes out of it.
September 19, 2009:
Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.
Those of you who have a twitter account: click here and enjoy for yourself the many piquant musings of Justin’s dad. I command you. Those of you who do not have a twitter account: get one. This chap is a pisser!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 10:40 p.m.: You can read a great interview with Justin, the progeny of this great man, by clicking here.
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