Spotted On India Street: A Merde Mystery
Filed under: 11222, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
A lady we’ll call “C” writes:
I’m now naming India St between Franklin/West “poop alley”….someone either is pooping, has a huge dog, or cow on that street…theres like 50 loads.
Does anyone amongst you, gentle readers, know who— or perhaps more appropriately what— is responsible for this? I’m intrigued.
UPDATE, November 8, 2011: A chap we’ll call “T” writes:
Last year I stumbled upon a gigantic mega turd even bigger than that on Huron and West. I watched its progress every morning for 12 months. IT IS STILL THERE…albeit diminished. I’d be more than happy to send you a picture of its current state so that you know what you can look forward to
All I can say is… WOW.
A Greenpoint Raccoon Fact: Gutters Make Good Shitters
Filed under: 11222, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
A lady we call “C” writes (in regards to this post):
So – raccoons AND poop! During the summer of 2010, we had a raccoon who would climb up our fire escape 3 floors to the roof of our building and then poop in our rain gutter. Seriously!
We have a few stray cats who live in the backyard, so I guess he was looking for a safe place to poop away from them. It didn’t appear that he hung out on the roof to eat or sleep.
We called around and were ready to have someone trap him, but then we never saw him again. We’re on Huron. Maybe he moved to Mark Bar?
This just keeps getting better and better folks. In any case after a cursory search it would appear that raccoon roof-shitting is, in fact, not that uncommon. Who knew?
New York Shitty Photos du Jour: A Jersey Street PSA
Filed under: 10012, Dung of the Day, New York City, Other Shit, SoHo, SoHo Manhattan
Taken September 29, 2011.
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Special Delivery
Filed under: 11215, 11217, Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Other Shit, Park Slope, Park Slope Brooklyn
A person we’ll call “M” writes (in an email entitled “Park Slope Pooper”):
Hi Miss H,
As you noticed from my facebook status, I had a close-up shitty encounter in my building vestibule today. I thought you might appreciate the lowdown.
The initial sighting was upon leaving the apartment a little after noon. The vestibule is between two supposedly locked doors. The first door is between the street and the mailboxes and a couple of non-live work spaces (both of which are currently rented). And the second separates the vestibule from the stairway to the apartments within.
The outer door is malfunctioning. Again. Last time, I had a renewal credit card stolen and some happy thief charged themselves a few trinkets and some flashy new duds. The time before, a mail-order purchase never arrived, or more likely it was stolen. But this time, I got the prize.
Poop. A big, smelly blob of shit and a couple of shit-streaked paper towels strewn nearby, icing on the freakin’ cake.
The best thing about this is, there is no super or landlord onsite. Anything that happens on the weekend, you are, pardon the pun, SOL. If you want the poop cleaned up, you’re doing the cleaning. Unless you want step over a pile of feces all weekend.
I have several neighbors, but unless everyone stayed in their homes this morning, they must have seen, and just stepped over the offensive pile. Someone had sprayed a copious amount of lemon-scented air freshener in the hallway (it was needed) but no one had bothered to even contact the landlord about the incident prior to my doing so. Sadly, this “someone will take care of it” attitude is common in my building and my rapidly-changing neighborhood. Yea, someone else. Notes posted in the hall and repeated emails to each tenant instructing them to shut the “security” door firmly and make sure it is fastened properly, have fallen on deaf ears.
So, while holding my breath and with multiple layers of makeshift plastic bags as “gloves” protecting my hands, I cleaned up the disgusting human waste and poured disinfectant on the toilet-spot. But before I did so, I snapped these shots that I thought you would appreciate. Excuse the blurriness, but I was fighting off a stench that surpasses that of Newtown Creek after the rains.
Now that the Park Slope Pooper has found vestige in my vestibule, what can I anticipate finding tomorrow morning?
Feel free to post my sad tale, and please keep my identity/contact info confidential.
Happy Saturday!
Right back at ya, M!
Miss Heather
A Vincent V. Abate Playground Update: Still There!
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
August 16, 2011
August 17, 2011
It would appear the Abate poo pile (replete with asswipe!) has proven problematic to one playground user. Whoops.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Better Homes & Garbage, Part II
Filed under: 11222, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit
(Or: India Street Revisited)
As I have written previously, the soon-to-be initiated India Street ferry service has some serious safety concerns to address. Foremost among these is the fact the block from which it will disembark is desolate and uninhabited.
Sort of. The first thing I noticed when I swung by this morning is only one solitary trailer remains. As you can see it has undergone some renovations. Namely, having the door removed and a cheerful blue blanket hung it its place.
We would appear to have two inhabitants.
Once again the presence of reading material was noted. It appears that we have a baseball fan on our hands. I wonder if he/she is a Mets or Yankees fan?
Yours truly was really impressed with the array of healthy foodstuffs. Milk, fruit juice, apples, peanut butter and canned fruit were observed. And last— but hardly least— let’s inspect the crapper!
This pied-a-terre is appointed with (to bastardize Black Adder):
…the latest in fresh air orifices combined with asphalt.
In other words: you shit on the street.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Photos du Jour: McGuinness Boulevard
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Street Justice, Vomit
After getting word form my buddy Jay that a beleaguered Beamer was being used as a trash receptacle on the Champs-Élysées of our fair burgh I simply had to see (and smell) this spectacle for myself. I am pleased to report I was not disappointed!
As you can see it has received a few “additions”.
The presence of food matter, vomitus and/or effluvia was noted.
A solitary carrot has found its way into the mix.
Here’s a close up of the cat shit.
And last— but hardly least— a parking ticket. What will tomorrow hold, you ask? That remains to be seen. But I suspect our fellow Greenpointers will not disappoint!
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part I: Street Justice On McGuinness Boulevard?
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Street Justice
The above item comes courtesy of Jay Lombard, who writes:
You should check out this car on McG near Norman. Parked next to PS 34 for weeks (wish I had taken a photo from late Feb for comparison). It has the usual dirt and grime from being parked on the Boulevard for an extended period PLUS our neighbors have seen fit to adorn it with:
1) contents of litter box. Note the clump factor
2) shriveled banana peel
3) remnants of at least two notes requesting removal. Possibly by the principal of the adjacent school?Besides occupying a prime parking spot in a neighborhood where parking is scarce this vehicle prevents the street from being cleaned (Sweeper operators have left a noticeable trail from repeatedly swerving around it), is an eyesore and, now, is beginning to stink. I’ve placed a call to 311 to report an abandoned car with NH plates. How long until it gets removed and what other items pile on top of it while it sits there are anyone’s guess.
WOW. Methinks I will have to pay this al fresco litter box a visit!
Miss Heather
LAST GASP: All The News Fit To Steal!
Filed under: 11222, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Plagiarism
I am seriously considering adding this as a byline to my humble blog after having the following turd brought to my attention by buddy across the creek: Queens Crap.
The Crapper writes (in regards to the above colossal piece of crap):
You mean January 25th comes before February 3rd? Damn.
Not according to CBS 2. Follows is a time line of my coverage of this story. Read it and weep.
January 24, 2011: I am tipped off by a reader and compose a blog post to go up at 5:34 EST January 25th. I follow up with Community Board 1’s Transportation Chair, Karen Nieves, to get her take later in the day. She is kind enough to clue me in on the situation and I update my post accordingly. This post was linked to by Brownstoner on January 25th at 8:30 a.m.
January 28, 2011: I am informed of the Community Meeting about said project by Ms. Nieves at 12:38 p.m. I gladly post it at 1:39 p.m.
February 2, 2011: I attend said event, film it and blog it. If you skip to 1:23 in this video (which was uploaded February 2nd) you can see the cameraman from CBS setting up the microphone for the representative of the Department of Design and Construction. The audience asked if it was a public mike. It was made clear this was for CBS. My post was linked to by Brownstoner on February 3, 2001 at 8:30 a.m. and by A Short Story at 10:54 a.m.
February 11, 2011 at 11:37 a.m.: I announce the plan has been tabled and update my post as I learn more details. I made my final update at 3:23 p.m.
And then CBS 2 “breaks” the news (once again) at 7:08 p.m. I have taken the liberty of bringing CBS 2’s “blog amnesia” to their attention via comments.
This has yet to be approved. I doubt it will.
If the wholesale and flagrant editorial vandalism (as coined by Bucky Turco at Animal New York) of “neighborhood blogs” by mainstream media outlets offends you, gentle readers, I would very much appreciate it if you would follow suit. Seriously folks, this is downright laughable.
Lastly, had CBS 2 actually cared about the facts instead of generating hype (READ: page views) they would have, should have, mentioned the houses on Monitor Street (and the stoops which accompany them) would have been assessed on a case-by-case basis. That’s the general impression I had after attending and filming the meeting on February 2, 2011. In fact, I find most of CBS 2’s “reporting” in this feature questionable. Then again, the truth doesn’t generate page views. Distorting the truth and sensationalism does.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Thanks for reading, CBS 2! I am really enjoying the comments you have seen fit to approve (as opposed to mine). For example, Annie’s charming missive as highlighted below.
It would appear “hate speech” passes muster, but calling your organization out on a crime of the pen, if you will— that being blog poaching— merits censorship. I want to personally thank you, CBS 2, for providing the final nail in the coffin which contains my contempt for and distrust of televised “news”.
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