Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Little Murders: Meeting Elliott Gould
(sort of)
On Friday night I finally saw Little Murders for the first time. At B.A.M. with a very entertaining Q & A session afterward with Elliott Gould. It was a most enjoyable evening and I found Mr. Gould’s frank and irreverent (if esoteric) repartee very refreshing.
I had been admonished by my buddy, Larry da Junkman, that Mr. Gould can be quite cantankerous in person. This, his, assessment was based on interviews he saw from the 1970’s. What I saw on August 8, 2008— 38 years later— was a person who had no time for fools but openly admitted his own tomfoolery. Gould struck me as being a great big teddy bear. Mind you, you my idea of a “big teddy bear” is a little different than most people; I learned warm and fuzziness from my father. A man who has been kicked out of a furniture store for listing William Jefferson Clinton as a reference to rent a bed. But I digress.
Mr. Gould has rather piquant wit —and more importantly, he was not reluctant to use it. When one person in the audience asked him if Little Murders glorified the shooting of a police officer he replied the movie was satire and that the leader of our country would fill Alan Arkin’s role quite beautifully. That bon mot with quickly topped with this one:
You’re the expert taking notes. I’m just the artist.
The above quip is one I will undoubtedly use quite often moving forward. For this reason (and a few others*) I wanted to express my gratitude. What’s more, I had an opportunity. A window, if you will. It was announced at Friday’s event that Mr. Gould agreed to another Q & A session at the 3:00 p.m. viewing of The Long Goodbye the following day. Mr. Heather loves this film so he bought a ticket. And in so doing he became my emissary.
I had to work Saturday. Before I left all the preparations were made. All Mr. Heather had to do was take the envelope I prepared, pick up the 8×10 print I ordered (of this), insert it into said envelope and give it to Mr. Gould. 5:00 p.m. rolled by. Nothing. As did 6:00 p.m. Then finally the call came.
Mr. Heather: The package has been delivered.
Miss Heather: AND?!?
When we met later in downtown Brooklyn I finally got a straight answer.
Miss Heather: So what happened?
Mr. Heather: I told him that my wife was in an art show last year and wanted to give him something.
Miss Heather: Okay.
Mr. Heather: I handed him the picture and he said:
Oh, that’s shit. Does she want me to autograph this?
Mr. Heather: I said no, she just wanted you to have it.
Miss Heather: Good.
Mr. Heather: Then he asked Is this horse shit? I said no, we think it was human or canine.
It was at this point in our conversation that the Mister and I encountered this on Bond Street.
Miss Heather: They put out cat litter but I don’t think this came from a feline. Is that red stuff catsup or blood?
Mr. Heather: I wouldn’t taste it to find out.
The End
Miss Heather
*Among them:
- M.A.S.H. is one of my favorite movies. EVER.
- Anti-heroes have always been my heroes. Hey, I’m a 70’s child!
Press Conference At Newtown Creek
Filed under: Bushwick, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Queens, Williamsburg
It got off to a late start but the press conference conducted by Nydia Velazquez, Anthony Weiner* and Joseph Lentol came to pass without a hitch. For those of you who were unable to attend this event, the following footage should give you some idea of its purpose: goading the Federal government to declare the area around Newtown Creek a Superfund site.
Here is the second half where Craig Michaels, legal counsel from Riverkeeper, and Assemblyman Joseph Lentol speak.
It looks like Ms. Velazquez and I agree on two things: the 2008 FISA Amendment Act sucks** and our community has waited long enough for a thorough clean-up of many a score of environmental abuse. 2026 is not good enough. We deserve better.
Miss Heather
P.S.: The new park where this press conference was held (and is still not open to the public) has already been given a hearty Greenpoint welcome!
Doggie dumplings.
*Who laughed when I waved at a passing Watertaxi and exclaimed:
Welcome to one of the most polluted waterways in the United States!
**I originally stated in this post she voted in favor of this act. This is not true. Ms. Velazquez voted against it. It was passed anyway.
Hey Joe
(Someone in the Garden Spot really, really does not like you.)
Yesterday afternoon I ran errands. Among my tasks was purchasing household cleaning products. Let’s just say one of our cats decided to use our bedroom as a vomitorium, I will spare you the details except to say it was quite disgusting.
As anyone in the know will tell you, any and all consumer products in Greenpoint are to be found in one place: Manhattan Avenue, so I headed there without delay. When I reached the Greenpoint Furniture store I noticed a man standing in front of the door. Well, noticed isn’t exactly the right word— HEARD is much more like it. Imagine this, if you will, being bellowed in the biggest Brooklyn honk imaginable:
You know what you are Joe? You’re a fuggin’ piece of shit! That’s what! A fuggin’ piece of shit!
Over and over. I turned to the man next to me, gave him my best “wtf” look and said:
It’s always healthy to let your anger out. What’s more, if I ever meet a guy named Joe I will know he is a fucking piece of shit.
He laughed.
I then went back about my business, as did my fellow bystander and the man who hates Joe.
Several hours later after I accomplished all the chores on my “to do” list I decided to head home via my favorite thoroughfare: McGuinness Boulevard. I have extolled upon the magical qualities of the street named after Greenpoint’s favorite alderman many times. I will do so yet once again here: McGuinness Boulevard is the undiluted essence of all things Greenpoint. It is the very soul of the Garden Spot. Some of the most interesting things I have ever seen have been found on this boulevard. Yesterday was no exception.
This mural is located on Newton Street. It originally read “diva”. As you can see, someone has seen fit to make a few annotations.
I really like this shot. Methinks this image should be on a greeting card. Seriously.
Not since high school have I seen hatred meted out in such a passionate and heated fashion. This person is seriously angry. If any of you are wondering what that brown stuff is, use your imagination. If that fails, here’s a clue: read the url for this web site.
You know, I cannot help but respect someone who would do this. I do not condone their behavior, mind you. I simply believe it is good policy to have a healthy respect for people who have no qualms whatsoever about picking up shit off the sidewalk and smearing it on a wall. Even I wouldn’t do that. If you’re out there reading this Joe, take my advice: stay away from McGuinness Boulevard.
Miss Heather
Gift Giving: Williamsburg Style
One thing that never ceases to fascinate me about parked bicycles in north Brooklyn is the propensity people have for leaving “gifts” in their baskets. In Greenpoint this usually entails empty fifths of vodka and banana peels. I do not know why this is so, I suppose it is the average Garden Spotter’s idea of a balanced diet.
So needless to say when my husband and I spied this bicycle on Metropolitan Avenue in Williamsburg yesterday we simply had to see what “present” had been left for its owner. Let’s go in for a closer look, shall we?
Mmm… doggie dumplings!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Hits Terrible Two!
As of today New York Shitty has been in effect for two whole years! To celebrate this most auspicious event, I will share cavalcade of colorful crap brought to my attention by none other than the proprietor of Brooklyn11211. He writes:
The Junior High school on South 3rd between Driggs and Roebling has a bunch of tagged poop (yellow, in that case).
Roebling is a wonderland of festively colored fecal matter! Read on and see for yourself.
This King Midas merde can be found between South 1st and South 2nd Street!
Here’s a pair of regal purple poops for your edification.
Just down the street there is this pink poo and its ghost (dogly) companion.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Shitmas!
As Crystal Gayle once sang:
Don’t you turn my brown eyes blue.
And last, but hardly least, my favorite.
I call this composition tree pit with peel and poop. Here’s a close-up.
Looks like the Easter Bunny left Williamsburg with much more than just Easter eggs last month!
Miss Heather
The Newest Williamsburg Craze: Turd Tagging
Actually, it’s not that new. I have received reports about this kind of activity around Montrose Avenue for some time but never found anything. Yesterday was my lucky day.
Driggs Avenue and North 8th Street!
Here’s a ghost turd from South 1st Street.
Once again, from South 1st Street. A wee bit sloppy for my taste but I suspect they ran out of paint.
Nonetheless these finds were like Christmas, the Fourth of July and a birthday combined! Speaking of birthdays, there’s a very special one coming this week. Stay tuned.
Miss Heather
Dung Of The Day: Nassau Avenue
Last weekend I had the pleasure of having two friends accompany me on my weekly walk of Greenpoint. It was a most enjoyable experience for yours truly. We not did we chatter away but I got to play tour guide to boot. Of course there came a point on Nassau Avenue when I had to drop the amateur act and get down to business. What kind of business, you ask? The business that graces much of our neighborhood’s sidewalks. Yes, I am talking about dog shit.
I think. As soon as I saw this pasty pile of poo in front of the local funeral parlor I knew exactly what to do. To this end I opened my backpack, retrieved my bust of George Herbert Walker Bush and put it to good use.
This act of social commentary did not go unnoticed by my fellow passersby. The above two gentlemen stopped walking and engaged in a heated discussion in front of my object de arte. You have to hand it to us Greenpointers, we love to talk about politics.
Miss Heather
Dung Of The Day: Madison Street
I see that Curry is no longer on Isiah’s menu. I wonder how he will supplement his diet (now that calling women “bitches” is no longer acceptable)? Let’s turn the page and find out!
Bon apetit!Â
Miss Heather
NYC Poop Bandit
Today a most amusing bit of YouTube goodness was waiting for me in my inbox. Orly writes:
Hey Heather-
Not many people would appreciate this, but I know for sure it’s right up your alley (literally).
There’s this new show on DIY Network called Under Construction, where two Brooklyn contractors build, demolish, and renovate projects all over NYC. We’re doing some promotion for the show, and got the following behind-the-scenes footage that captures a virtual warehouse of dog poop in a Park Slope backyard:
As a Cobble Hill resident, this cache of poop is a little too close for comfort for me – but hey, I’m a native New Yorker, I guess I should be used to it!
Cheers
Thanks a lot for passing this along, Orly. It’s hilarious!
Miss Heather
P.S.: Oh yeah, I found this little nugget of joy on YouTube after watching the above outtakes. It is not for the feint of heart (or safe for work). Enjoy!
NYS Flickr Pool
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