Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Dear Sir/Madam
Filed under: 11206, Culture War, Dog Shit Signage, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn
It would appear the gentrification of Meserole Street is bravely marching on despite the sour economy. Note how the author of this missive not only addresses his (or her) readers as “sir” and “madam” but he even saw fit to laminate his tome. This person is a class act.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Simple Pleasures
Filed under: 11222, Area 51, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Last week I saw a hipster wearing a “Mad Hatter’s” chapeau on Manhattan Avenue. Tucked in the band of his hat was a card reading: “I (marijuana leaf) NY”. I got peeved.
Lest I have not made my stance on “vice” clear before I will now: legalize it, regulate it and tax it. I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your homes— in fact, I don’t want to know— and I expect the same courtesy in return. Don’t shit in my proverbial living room and I won’t shit in yours. Call me a curmudgeon, but the biggest impediment to marijuana being decriminalized in my opinion are the hemptards . You know who I am talking about: the burn-outs who hang around Bedford Avenue canvassing to legalize marijuana. Perfect right wing fodder.
Their energy could be used for a better and more subversive use.
I thought to myself. Yesterday I found such as an example: in my wallet. I reached into my “Stripper roll”* to purchase sundries to find something most amusing:
Me: Oh my! I’m not giving you this.
Shop Owner (concerned): ???
Me (handing said promissory note over for his delectation): Look at it.
(Shop Owner and fellow cashier laugh)
Is it my imagination or does George look like a cross of Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and Haile Selassie?
Miss Heather
*A wad of paper money whose higher denominations are on the outer layers for everyone’s edification.
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: What Would Nietzsche Do?
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
From the Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Gentrification?!?
Filed under: 11206, 11211, 11222, 11237, Bed-Stuy, Bloomblight, Brooklyn, Bushwick, Culture War, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Ft. Greene, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Kensington, Long Island City, New York City, Queens, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Interesting things happen when I stay up late. Mind you, they are not usually good things. But this case may very well be an exception: in the wee hours of the morning today the following found its way into my inbox.
Anni Atkinson of Earthsharing.org.au (Yes kids, that’s Australia) writes:
have you ever heard of GENTRIFICATION?
well, not many people have which is surprising as it effects us all.
so, I am attempting to do something about this! well, me and the team at Earthsharing Australia! I work with a not-for-profit called Earthsharing that offers free education services on economics and we focus on economic justice for all.
Currently we are working on an international film competition with the theme of ‘Gentrification’ which looks at issues of gentrification and how such cycles effect creative communities and artists in our cities. First Prize is $3000, with runner up prizes from Madman and Crumpler.
your blog is rad and we would be honored if you could throw a little love our way and mention the film competition to your readers!
Please contact me for more details including a press release or an e-flyer.
In the mean time, check out our website for more details!
The first line of this email made me erupt into fits of uncontrollable (and demented) laughter. Have I heard of gentrification? Feeling more than a little raffish, I wrote back:
You are asking ME, a resident of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, USA (which is located pretty much halfway around the globe from you), to inform my readership about film competition about GENTRIFICATION?!? Greenpoint: a neighborhood where a “luxury” condos proliferate in the shadow of the east coast’s largest WASTE TREATMENT PLANT? Where environmental issues the likes of which you cannot begin to comprehend remain unabated. And yet artists are being pushed out because there are people willing to dole out $2,000+ USD rent for a one bedroom/studio for this?
Give me the fuggin’ flier, your creds and press release— STAT.
Well, she did.
I’ve done some poking around and this contest is 100% legit. Let’s show our friends down under how our fair city treats the creative community and everyone else who cannot a condo or $2,000 a month rent? You can get the 411 on how to enter this contest by checking out Earthsharing’s web site or by emailing them at: timmah (at) earthsharing (dot) org (dot) au
NOTE: they are currently requiring that entries be mails. I have suggested they accept submissions via YouTube as mailing matter overseas can be both costly and dicey. They are looking into it.
Otherwise, you can play the Gentrification Game by clicking here. Simply put you are a landlord/speculator and your goal is to kick out tenants. Play it. It’s a fucking HOOT!
Miss Heather
P.S.: Earthsharing also has a number of interesting videos on YouTube. Check ’em out. You’ll find the tales contained therein eerily familiar.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Helicopters?
Filed under: 11222, Bloomblight, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Shashi writes:
know anything about those incessant helicopters over greenpoint from 6-7:30 in the morning? traffic copters? how does one complain about them?
Truth be told Shashi, I am not 100% clear on what your recourse is. However if you are writing in reference to the helicopters flying around the waterfront this morning methinks I can give you answer. I have it on very good intelligence that our very own Mayor was in the far north Garden Spot conducting some kind of dog and pony show which we will undoubtedly be subjected to in the near future. I am certain the message will (more or less) be:
Everything’s just great!
Had our fearless leader bothered to actually step out where the common peasants live he would quickly ascertain things most decidedly are not.
Looks like the natives are getting restless.
Some of my colleagues amplifiers in the print media might have noticed I have given no indication whatsoever as to where either of the previous items are to be found. You can rest assured they are in Greenpoint and the lack of naming their specific locations was no oversight on my part. If you are going to earn your livelihood plagiarizing my work I’m going to make good and damned sure to make you work for it.
Now that I have undoubtedly sent a pack of hack reporters scurrying around the Garden Spot looking for Nazi lamp posts*, do you have any advice, dear readers as to how Shashi should handle her noise problem? My educated guess is she needs to call 311 and file a complaint with the Department of Environmental Protection.
Miss Heather
*Oh yeah— if think you’re being clever by referencing the comment Tony left on this post:
This is much better than the swastikas I’ve been noticing on lamp post bases lately… just saw another today on Nassau @ Russell.
You’re not. As of 3:00 this afternoon there were no swastikas whatsoever to be found at this location. My guess is (given the police presence I saw there) they had been made note of and removed. Happy hunting!
Subway Photos Du Jour: Fear, Loathing, Love & Beef
Lorimer Street stop of the L.
Metropolitan Avenue stop of the G.
Miss Heather
FOUND IN WILLIAMSBURG: Froot Loops
(in More Ways Than One)
I was recently asked by a colleague if I knew anything about the “underground” art parties that are reputedly being thrown in Williamsburg. The fact of the matter is I do not. As some of you, dear readers, might recall I am by education (and to a lesser degree, trade) an artist in my own right. During graduate school I was even a teaching fellow— but I digress. I was often asked by my fellow students if my work was the product of partaking certain mind-expanding substances. They always seemed disappointed when I gave them the honest answer: no. I was (and still am) simply strange. I mention the previous anecdotes because as I was walking around Williamsburg recently I stumbled upon something quite remarkable.
At first I thought this was your standard “Bloomieville” (homeless encampment)…
and a pretty nice one at that. It isn’t.
The first indication that something was amiss was the scattering of Froot Loops next to the mattress.
After a little poking around I found the box. (NOTECAVEAT: this and any of the following images can be seen in larger format by clicking on them. Do so at your own risk.)
Yup.
Same goes for the advertising insert on the bed.
This, which is also located under the sidewalk shed.
Here’s the other side.
This, which can be found around the corner on Kent Avenue. As you can see now Frank Gehry has entered the picture— and what a picture it is!
And finally this— which can be found at the intersection of Metropolitan and Wythe Avenue.
Let this be a lesson to all you aspiring artists out there lest you decide to expand your mind and do a little creating. Sometimes it’s better to just let that Sharpie be. It is not cosmic consciousness that is powering your pen: it’s the drugs.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Townies Versus Newbies
An off-again, on again problem yours truly experiences is insomnia. Last night was no exception: I could not for the life of me fall asleep. Finally I gave up, grabbed a glass of milk and quietly shuffled to the computer. When I checked my email something very special awaiting me. It didn’t help me sleep at all (quite to the contrary— that’s impossible to do after laughing one’s ass off) but it is certainly worth passing along nonetheless. J writes:
I was witness to a really hilarious stoopid event last night.
I was on Bedford and N9 waiting for the B61 around 11pm, being joined by a rather large young local construction (and slightly inebriated) worker guy. He sat on the stoop by the bus stop. Above us, four hipster idiots drunk and or drugged were on the roof snickering and cackling to their own amusement/irony. One of the idiots started flicking crap off the roof at the big Polish guy. He started cursing and finally yelled at them. After a few more times, and a lit cigarette bouncing off his back, he shouted:
Motherfuck!! Fuck you asshole!
to which the girlie on the roof replied:
Fuck you you fucking Polack!
This threw the guy into a rage,
You motherfuck, I show you!
and he proceeds to start kicking the door at the top of the stoop. I went into “keep an eye on things but out of direct contact” mode I learned in BedStuy in the 80’s. He finally kicked the door in, cursing and shouting. He returns with a bicycle from inside the house and curses at the idiots on the roof:
You motherfucks I show you now I have your bike you motherfuck!
and proceeds to ride the bike down Bedford. The problem is – he kicked in the door and stole the bicycle FROM THE WRONG HOUSE. Naturally, the people of the house whose door he kicked in were pretty upset and a minute or so later half dozen of New York’s Finest showed up. The idiots on the roof of the house next door quickly disappeared. Since someone decided to rat me out as an eye witness, I gave them a basic description of the transactions between the idiots and of the guy, and let the folks in the house of the broken door know who should get talked to. Then the 61 finally showed up and I split.
This is turning out to be an interesting summer.
Indeed.
Miss Heather
Attention All Urban Photographers & Street Art Enthusiasts
If you happen to be on River Street do not take a picture of this.
And sure as hell don’t shutterbug this.
Why, you ask? Because if you do it might result in you (and your husband) being questioned by New York’s Finest as to what you are doing. This is what happened to the Mister and I this evening.
Hello there, we see you’re taking photographs— why?
Miss Heather: I think the shadows and diagonals are visually pleasing.
We saw you take photographs of graffiti back there.
Miss Heather: Yeah, someone spray-painted the word “meat” on the wall and I found it interesting.
Because it’s sort of “beefy”?
Miss Heather: Exactly. I happen to be a vegetarian.
Seeing where this conversation was headed (nowhere good— and soon) the Mister jumped in and after some more “dialoging”, they left us to go about our business. Inasmuch as interfacing with the NYPD can be amicable it was: tense, but polite. Still the experience left me wondering:
Why?
Perhaps these chaps have been instructed to watch photographers— especially those who happen to document “graffiti”? The only logic at work here I can think of is the presumption that when people (such as myself) document this stuff it is going to somehow encourage the people responsible for it to continue their nefarious work (and, in so doing, lower everyone’s “quality of life”). I suppose this is possible. BUT…
it’s been my experience that derelict buildings (of which north Brooklyn has many— such as the one above example which is located around the corner) do more than their fair share of lowering my quality of life.
Nice, eh?
The above can be found on the front door of this Kent Street deadiface. Call me subversive, but I don’t really see how this could possibly be construed as making this building an eyesore. It has achieved that very readily on its own. Rather smashingly, I will add. One piece of street art graffiti isn’t going to make any difference; if anything the above bit of mischief adds some sorely needed “value” to this turd. It certainly makes me smile, anyway.
Speaking of which, a building doesn’t have to be old and decrepit to elicit social commentary, oh, I mean graffiti.
CASE IN POINT: Northside Piers.
Miss Heather
2009 Robot Monkey World Chimpionship: And The Winner Is…
Number 9.
Man oh Manischewitz was the Williamsburg versus Greenpoint robot battle fierce last night! Greenpoint’s very own Dandelion Wine* made it to the quarter finals but alas 11211 prevailed. Follows is a slide show of the event for your Sunday morning entertainment. Enjoy!
More video footage will be forthcoming later today— because you know what they say:
It doesn’t matter if you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.
And let’s just say the game was played very interestingly.
Miss Heather
*Who will be featured in today’s New York Times. Mazel Tov!
P.S.: In somewhat-related news those of you who have been wondering what’s up with this lot next door to t.b.d.
It is no longer available. The owner of t.b.d signed a lease two weeks ago and they are creating an outdoor garden/annex. I have it per a very reliable source it will be up and running Memorial Day weekend. So mark your calendar!
NYS Flickr Pool
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