LAST GASP PART II: Another Bicyclist/Motorist “Incident”

July 24, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

A tipster writes:

…another bikester got doored tonight around 7pm on Nassau and Manhattan.  I just got off the G shuttle coming back from Gpoint Ave and there was already a crowd gathering.  Flipped over onto the back of her head, bleeding profusely and having convulsions.  No helmet. One kind souled guy was holding and talking comfort to her, trying to keep her conscious.  Some folks including myself dialed 911.  911 people have got to be the dumbest fucking people on earth, I swear.  I could overhear all of us five callers going “NO, NOT MANHATTAN – MANHATTAN AVENUE – BROOKLYN – BRRROOOOKKKLLLLYYYNNN.”  One woman had 911 hang up on her.  When the 229 truck, the EMT’s and the 94th showed up, it was a big relief, cuz a few of us were worried that when the convulsions finally stopped it wasn’t going to end pretty.  They got her in a neck collar and then she woke up and started crying and fighting with the EMT’s. Took six of them to hold her steady so they could put her on the board.  They didn’t immediately leave after they loaded her, so I don’t know if that meant something, hope nothing bad.  The 94th got her bike and clutch, sunglasses, etc.  The Chinese guy who’s car door she rode into was fighting with the cops because he wanted to leave.  A few minutes later he almost ran me over talking on the cellphone making the right onto Leonard.  While waiting for the light at McGuinness and Nassau, three fashionably dressed hipsters on bicycles (no helmets either) with fun expensive hats and sunglasses were riding in between moving traffic and thinking yelling snarky things at the cars beeping at them was going to give them special empowerment to not get squashed.

Here’s the deal: inasmuch as I’d like to be “pro-bicycle” I can’t do it. You know why? Because many of them act as bad if not worse than the motorists hereabouts. Given how cabbies drive here and how car services see fit to idle everywhere— including in our bike lanes— this is really saying something. During my sojourns I often feel I am an object of disgust at worst or an inconvenience at best by motorists, bicyclists and skaters (be they on board or otherwise). Why is being a pedestrian so declasse? Why do I feel compelled to defend my right to walk this city’s sidewalks with some peace of mind that I will not be mowed down by something— or someone— on wheels? This should be a given.

I do not want to suggest that this lady cyclist “deserved” what she got. She didn’t. My heartfelt regards go to her family and loved ones. Above all I wish her a full recovery. Rather, I blame an administration which has seen fit to encourage— under the guise of being “green”—  bicyclists to use our roads under the erroneous assumption they’re safe. They’re not. Especially in light of recent service suspensions and cut-backs courtesy of the MTA. Reduced and suspended subway service  = more more vehicular traffic in north Brooklyn: be it cabs, shuttle buses, etc.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: The Rotten Apple

July 22, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From North 3rd Street.

Miss Heather

Spotted On Bedford Avenue: Old School

July 20, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

Taken July 20, 2010.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Degentrification Watch: Meet “Catfish”

July 20, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

This item comes courtesy of someone we’ll call “W”. He writes:

Do you by any chance know of the legendary Catfish…? He looks like a catfish and always growling or drinks vodka around the park. One night a hipster bumped him and he smashed his guitar then proceeded to scream like a werewolf. He’s become my hero ever since…

he’s the one in the wool cap in the pic.

I would like to take a moment to give a big New York Shitty salute to our man Catfish for keeping Garden Spot real— one guitar at a time! Pete Townsend would be proud.

Miss Heather

Bedford Avenue Crustie Watch: They’re Baaaack!

July 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

And with a new dog, no less.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Why?

July 18, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11222, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

From Franklin Street.

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Mother Nature

July 10, 2010 ·
Filed under: Culture War, Manhattan, New York City 

From 7th Avenue.

Miss Heather

Nice Moves Part II: The Plot Thickens!

July 7, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

As I have mentioned previously, last weekend I caught up with my buddy Rachael over drinks. One of the topics of our conversation was “Nice Moves Movers which I featured on my site last week. I found it compelling. God only knows the commenters at Daily Intel did. And, well, Rachael did as well. She had spotted their flier at the San Loco on North 5 Street and found it, well, a bit odd. Thinking it was a joke she grabbed it for me.

Last night this item finally found its way into my possession. Truth be told, I was not expecting any surprises (I mean, how can you top “pricing flexible depending on circumstance.”) I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

This is the flier I posted.

And this is the one she found. As you can see there has been a change in the rotation. Why? In any case, here’s what Rachael had to say:

I think the photo at the bottom right was taken in 1976. So when you call some creepy old guy will show up at your apartment.

“Perhaps” I replied:

But in any case I do not think I would want this guy moving my precious Steinway. Provided, of course, I had one. He looks like he would lift up the lid and take a nap in it. Then the other guys would wonder why it is so heavy and lo, he’d pop out. It would be like something straight out of The Three Stooges.

After a shred of affirmation I continued:

What happened to the other two guys? Were they fired?

And so the mystery of Nice Moves Movers continues. This establishment have a Yelp page and yet not a single review has been posted. Once again, if anyone hires these guys I a expect a full review— including exactly who shows up on moving day!

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Real Estate Marketing: Hardcore Luxury

July 6, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

When I saw this corker at the corner of Bedford Avenue and North 6 Street today I simply had to document it. As soon as I got home I brought it to the Mister’s attention. I don’t care if he took a personal day today or not: this is important.

This woman simply does not have enough tattoos. Although the one she does have— which looks like it was selected and possibly executed under the influence of narcotics— or possibly in jail— is a good start.

I stated, to get the ball rolling.

She went somewhere very nice that tattoo. I have no doubt she paid a lot of money to make it look like she got it in prison.

The Mister countered.

“Agreed” I said and went on to opine:

There are a number of things wrong with this ad now that I have really looked at it. For starters, why isn’t someone sitting at the table surrounded by empty cans of PBR and Colt 45 cutting up a suspicious white substance with a gold card? Maybe they’re doing it on the granite counter tops in the bathroom instead?

To wit the Mister replied:

What I want to know is where’s the scraggly haired son of bitch passed out on the couch? You know, the one she’s “dating”* to piss her dad off?

I could not have put it better myself. Sorry Edge PR hacks, but until you make the changes we have just outlined (oh yeah, throw in some piercings while you’re at it) this advertisement is a colossal fail.

Miss Heather

*This was not the word the Mister used.

New York Shitty Day Starter: Everyone’s A Critic

July 3, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Culture War, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

From Bedford Avenue.

Miss Heather

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