Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
The Calyer Street Bike Bandit Strikes Again!
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Remember the reader email I posted on January 25 about a fellow Greenpointer having not one, BUT TWO, bicycles stolen last weekend? Well, it would appear they have struck again. Per my Calyer Street tipster:
i don’t know who’s letting them in, so it has to be delivery something, or someone who works for the landlady.
i am having my brother in law put the new lock in TOMORROW.
First off, I want to tender my sincerest sympathies to my Calyer Street compadre. Knowing that a thief has been in your apartment building is disturbing enough. The fact he (or she, I suppose) had the chutzpah to come back— or worse—- someone else has taken to pillaging on your private property is even worse! While I realize this may be cold comfort to this individual, I want to reiterate that the 94th Precinct is registering bicycles. This service is totally free and will make tracking down your ride much easier in the event (god forbid) it is stolen. You can get the contact information for the woman spearheading this effort by clicking here (look at the second to last paragraph).
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Fail
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I heard an interesting bit of neighborhood gossip about this phenomenon. Apparently one of our local car services makes it a practice to shove cardboard into these meters so as to render them inoperative (and avoid having to pay money to park). Given how many “failed” meters I see on Manhattan Avenue between Green and Huron Street on any given week I would not rule this out as being implausible. Is this crass destruction of public property? Yes, absolutely. But out of the realm of possibility? Nope, not by a long shot.
Miss Heather
Crime Prevention Tips From The NYPD
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Yesterday I attended a hastily convened meeting at the 94th Precinct regarding crime trends here in Williamspoint. Apparently there was a spike in robberies last week— and this obviously being a source of concern— local neighborhood groups were invited to discuss the matter. Most of the meeting can be summarized by the annotation on the flier to the left: don’t be an idiot. Nonetheless, I will outline the more salient points in this post.
Exercise Vigilance
70% of all crimes in the 94th last year were grand larceny/property crimes. These range anywhere from losing unattended property to smash and grabs; burglary and robbery. All more or less have two thing in common: they’re crimes of opportunity and appear to be perpetrated by a handful of serial offenders. D.I. Fulton cited one such example of this: a group of men who managed to rob three people in a single evening.
Although this is common sense I am going to list a few tips:
1. Watch your property
2. Do NOT leave valuables in your car
3. Refrain from talking on your cell phone and/or texting when walking our streets. Not only does negotiating around such people (who tend to weave around) piss yours truly off in a big, big way, but it makes you an easy target for robbery
4. When going out at night go in groups and refrain from being intoxicated. Public drunkenness makes one a sterling target for robberies and, as D.I. Fulton noted, one should not be impaired when negotiating the marginally secured construction sites hereabouts.
5. LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS. This too is common sense, but Mr. Fulton recounted to us a robbery where the woman’s apartment was accessed via a window on her fire escape. If you think you’re not an easy target because you reside on a higher floor, think again.
6. If you see suspicious activity, call the police.
Arrests
Although D.I. Fulton pointed out crime was down 6.7% last year (there were a total of 1,651 arrests last year lest you are wondering), he did list a few areas where more arrests and/or citations are being made:
1. Robberies (as I have already mentioned)
2. Graffiti
3. Truck traffic summonses are up for a third year in a row.
It was also noted that they are also cracking down on derelict bicycles. Which brings me to what is probably the most useful piece of information I gleaned from this meeting: the 94th Precinct is registering bicycles. This service is totally free and anyone interested should contact Elizabeth Moulterie at (718) 383-3879. The 94th’s Community Liaison, Carlos Ortiz gave me a compelling, if darkly amusing, example why bicycle owners should register their rides. He was once contacted by a gentleman whose bike was stolen… and turned up locked to a gate a few doors down on his block! How’s that for chutzpah? Despite his protestations that the vehicle in question was in fact his, since he had not seen the thief take it and there was no serial number engraved on it there was nothing they could do about it.
In closing, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t mention a little chicanery I encountered on the way to this meeting. On Manhattan Avenue between Java and Kent streets a 20-something woman hocked up a loogie— and noticing that she got my attention— tried to sell me a can of Folgers coffee for $5.00. Hot coffee. I was also equally impressed (if that is the most appropriate word to use) to learn at this meeting that apparently some of our local drug dealers are cutting their “product” with sheet rock excavated from the walls of their apartment building. The entrepreneurial moxie of the more criminally-inclined people in this neighborhood never ceases to amaze me.
Miss Heather
P.S.: I have recorded most— but not all— of the proceedings. Given the sensitive matter of some of the material discussed, I did not film the people present. I simply pointed my camera at the ceiling (so as to capture the audio and preserve the attendee’s anonymity). The sound quality is less than spectacular, but here it is.
1. General introduction, Crime rundown
2. Crime rundown, tips for crime prevention, Q & A
3. Q & A, continued. NOTE: last week’s “suspicious death” and Violeete Kryzak are touched upon at the very end. I advise you to give this a listen.
4. More Q & A: concerns about narcotics activity are aired (Speaking for myself, I have observed increasing evidence of heroin use along Manhattan Avenue north of Greenpoint Avenue.)
5. Concluding remarks
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Bike Buffet?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Think your wheels are safe and sound if they’re in your apartment building? Think again. A Calyer Street tipster writes:
Two bicycles stolen over the weekend, including my partner’s. They did not take all the bikes, just the ones that were used the most and therefore easiest to get to. did not even take the most expensive bikes… It’s been five years that we’ve lived here and have never had to lock the bikes. It was definitely a crime of opportunity but it’s terrible – my partner and the other guy whose bike was stolen USED their bikes almost every day. everyone else whose bike was shoved in the corner rarely rides, even if their bikes were more expensive.
now i’m just worried that the thieves will come back and help themselves to the bike buffet. and i want another lock on my door.
Let this be a warning to you, my Williamspoint bicycle enthusiasts. Play it safe: be hypervigilant about keeping the entrance of your apartment building locked at all times. Better yet, keep your bicycle in your apartment. Better to suffer a little inconvenience than discover your bike has gone for a ride without you!
Miss Heather
LAST GASP: Homicide at Huron & Manhattan Avenue?
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
I have received two emails about this incident. L writes:
Hi Miss Heather —
fyi – just saw this on Gothamist news map — sending as your investigative reporting is the BEST —
Homicide | Manhattan Ave & Huron St Manhattan, NY | 1/24/2010 5:31 p.m.
(lest it seems i regularly read crime reports (!), was looking for info on why a helicopter was buzzing my neighborhood for an hour last nite – but no report)
T writes:
…gothamist newsmap homicide manhattan / huron?!
what’s the story?
That’s what I want to know. The story.
When I got off the B43 at 5:00 p.m.-ish today I saw an ambulance, two police cars and a handful of lookie-loos between India and Huron Street. If there was an “incident” it happened well before I came on the scene. I suspect I speak for many fellow Greenpointers when I write that I find this very disturbing. If anyone reading this has the 411 please tender them via comments or via email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com.
Your identity will remain anonymous.
Miss Heather
P.S.: L also writes;
…& while we’re on subject of crime – also on Gothamist, saw 2 reports of armed robberies at Roebling & N 9th in a week – one’s on today’s list (from last nite) — both evening, NOT middle of nite — that’s a dark & quiet corner — but seems stalled development has made things worse.
A Tale From The Junk Shop
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Area 51, Crazy People, Criminal Activity, Culture War
I am not going to lie: New York Shitty’s latest outage really pissed me off. This has happened with enough frequency that even my patience (and believe it or not I am endowed with quite a lot of this virtue— albeit probably at the expense of a few others) was exhausted. To cite one such example of the patience I am indeed capable of I present for your entertainment a junk shop story.
PREAMBLE
As I have stated before, when I am left in charge interesting things happen. Today I was a magnet for anyone coming in under the influence of mind-altering substances. Or if these individuals were not under the influence, they should probably get whatever is afflicting them looked into. But I am not paid to be psychiatrist. I am a junk woman. In this capacity I have one goal and one goal only: make the sale or induce them to leave, preferably as peacefully as possible. I have many tools in my arsenal for just this purpose. The axe (which you see at left) is not one of them. Yet.
My “professional career” has largely centered around dealing with the general public. The first and hardest lesson I learned is a significant number of homo sapiens are quite insane. I rarely shout or raise my voice. I hate shouting. I employ this tactic sparingly, but for those of you who are wondering (and I know a number of you are) I usually employ my “outdoor voice” for purchasers of pornography.* I do not object to “adult material”. I have grown to accept that as long as there is a market for such things (men) it will exist. Rather, a great many purchasers of these materials are cheap. Very cheap. And loud. VERY LOUD. As I said before, I hate shouting— but I have learned that bellowing out every item the prospective purchaser is raising hell over for everyone’s edification along with the asking price cuts down on time spent haggling significantly. But I digress.
Porn enthusiasts with tight wallets constitute a very small part of the troublesome clientele I encounter. For the rest my “public servant” persona has proven to be by far the most effective. This can best be described as a cross between Nurse Ratched, suicide hotline operator and Hal 9000.
CASE IN POINT: Man walks into store.
Do you work here?
He asks. BIG RED FLAG. This man has bought merchandise and held entire conversations with yours truly on a number of occasions. One was about how he blacked-out under the influence of hallucinogenics, went bat shit in a store one day, came back a week later not remembering what happened and couldn’t understand why the help was scared shitless of him. Yup.
Me (reluctantly): Yes.
Man: I want a price for a table.
Me (with extreme trepidation): Okay.
I look at said table. There is another table on top of it; it has a price tag of $10.00. The table under it is inexplicably the only item without a price tag. I spy a price tag on the ground nearby. I know for a fact all these items were priced yesterday. One item without a tag + one tag discarded on the ground. Face down. Do the math.
Me: That’s strange. This is the only piece of furniture without a price tag...
Man: Isn’t that (pointing to the table on top) the price?
I want you, dear readers, to take a moment to think about this.
Me: I’m going to ask the manager.
Man: I have talked to him about this already. The price keeps going up and down.
It is a common scam at the junk shop for prospective clients, when unsatisfied with the price one employee has given him (or her), to try to solicit a quote from another employee on the sly. They do so under the presumption we do not communicate with each other. We do. Hence why this ruse rarely works. What I find fascinating here is:
- This person is telling me he has already received a quote from someone else.
- He is not happy with the asking price…
- and makes it pretty clear this is why he is asking me for a quote.
- In essence he has foiled his own scheme. If indeed he had one.
I take a moment to mull over the previous points and replied.
If you have spoken to the manager about this table I am not getting involved.
Long story made short: he and the manager agreed upon $20.00 for this table. He took it home.
DENOUEMENT
Later a co-worker of mine walked in with the errant price tag. It read:
A steal for $30.00!
She asked:
I wonder what this was for?
Me:
Maybe someone didn’t interpret it as a price tag but as an instruction manual.
The End.
Miss Heather
*As it would happen today another junkman, a regular and overall nice guy, came to the store. He (we’ll call him “M”) and Larry da Junkman were recounting tales of a fellow junkman (who we will call “N”). He had recently died. M told a tale about N which inspired me so much I asked him to repeat it. Here it is. Albeit in highly simplified form.
N once decided to rent a bunch of pornographic VHS tapes. Then he proceeded to:
- excise all the pornography out of them and return them to the video store.
- Inasmuch as I understand, N then proceeded to take all the “naughty bits”, splice them together and compile his own video.
I found this strangely brilliant. I told M just this. He was perplexed:
He was crazy. I could understand if he was an artist or something.
I have often fantasized about taking some of the more vile pornographic videos home, splicing all the pornographic material out of them, returning them to the junk shop and waiting for (the inevitable) hilarity to ensue…
In comes a man exclaiming that his VHS tape “Butts Behind Bars”, purchased for $2.00 has no butts. Only a g-string of a plot. I will look at him with wide-eyed amazement and ask him, being the customer service-oriented person that I am:
- what was lacking from said movie
- in explicit detail, e.g.; how many anal double penetrations were you promised? How many did you actually see?
I will document the previous complaint in the same manner I did as a former civil servant: in copious— or this case coital— detail. And laugh my ass off after he leaves.
What can one expect for $2.00 in New York City anymore? A “Recession Special” cup of joe on Bedford Avenue will set you back $2.00. Riding the subway costs $2.25 per ride the last I checked. I quit checking. I invest my money in comfortable shoes, not metrocards. $2.00 for an excised porno strikes me as being very reasonable— if MTA-esque— bargain: you tender money with the expectation of gratification and receive nothing in return. Just information.
From The Brookyn Daily Eagle Archives: Sticky Fingers at St. Stanislaus
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Last night there was a flurry of activity at Chez Shitty. You see, every year Mister Heather’s father bakes batches of cookies. I can personally attest they are quite delicious as he ships them to use each and every year. This year was no exception. However, as of last night, they had yet to arrive. This greatly concerned the Mister. The man may very well be an atheist but I assure you he takes the matter of his Yuletide treats very seriously.
To this end he exercised vigilance rarely seen after a work day. He even tabled his evening cocktail in order to get to the bottom of this matter. If there’s one thing I have learned over the years it is this: you don’t mess with the man’s snickerdoodles. Phone calls were made, a routing number was secured and online he went. I quipped that we’d probably find the box empty, save a handful of crumbs, in front of our building in a day or two. He was not amused.
I do not want to suggest that my neighbors are dishonest folk. They’re not. However, if there’s one thing I have observed living here for the past decade (and working at the junk shop) it is some people will steal anything. Which brings me to this item I culled from the December 27, 1902 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Not only does this item bear testament to this fact (17 cents, flatware and a shawl do not an excellent haul make) but it also illustrates that nothing and more importantly no one is considered sacred to those who have sticky fingers. Even ladies of the cloth are considered fair game. Enjoy!
I am pleased to report that our cookies have been located! As it would happen they had arrived December 18 and were in the care of the business on the first floor of our building. Why they did not see fit to inform us of their arrival is anyone’s guess. The important thing is certain disaster and the rolling of many a head has been averted.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Nothing says the holiday season is in full swing in the Garden Spot of the Universe like an epidemic of “sticky fingers”. This having been stated, I have no idea what “touch your ass” means. What’s more, I don’t care to find out!
Miss Heather
Quicklink: Up in Smoke
Many of you have doubtless heard of the massive cocaine bust which came to pass in Williamsburg last month. What you might not know is, if LiQcity is to be believed, our friends in Long Island City are having issues of their own. In a luxury condominium, no less:
Well well well. Apparently fancy shmancy Long Island City condos have drug busts, too…
You can read the whole story by clicking here.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Half a million dollars in cash?!? Apparently there are some businesses that are, indeed, “recession proof”. Perhaps these brave entrepreneurs could tender some vocational training to our banking and automotive industries?
Image Credit: LiQcity
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.