Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Stolen Bike
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
This item comes from a lady named Molly. She writes:
hey miss heather,
love your blog and hope that you could help me add some eyes to the search for my stolen bike.sometime between 10 p.m. last night and 8 a.m. this morning, my bike was stolen. it was locked on the gate in front of my apartment on monitor between nassau and driggs. cable lock was cut clean through.
now here’s the thing. this bike is small. like really small. anyone that is over 5’2″ won’t be able to ride it comfortably. it’s also orange. really orange. it has orange handle bar tape and an old vintage schwinn speedometer on the handle bars. it’s also very heavy. i have attached a photo of the bike… if you see someone… with a small orange bike, please contact me via email.
hope some nice greenpointers can help me out! i love this bike!
If anyone has seen this bike or knows of its whereabouts please contact Molly via email at mollsrawks (at) gmail (dot) com
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Street Justice
Filed under: Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I was not quick enough on the draw on this one— so what you are seeing instead is the aftermath of one of the crazier episodes I have witnessed on this, Greenpoint’s main drag. EVER. Cut me a little slack: it is not every day I see a rather large Polish gentleman (whose face I have blurred in the above photograph) crack one of our more colorful, um, citizens over the head with his cane. TWICE. Lest you are wondering, dear readers, (and you probably are) this attack was provoked. The above gent was harangued— rather persistently and menacingly— by not one but two rather seedy individuals.* About what I am not certain— although someone on the scene overheard something about touching someone’s daughter. Exactly whose daughter was in question is anyone’s guess.
Just another sultry Saturday afternoon in the Garden Spot… dare I say it, but it makes me wish winter would come. And fast!
Miss Heather
*One methinks is a resident of the Greenpoint “Hotel”. The other is a man who clearly has problems. BIG TIME. If I had to hazard a guess I’d say heroin.
The Word On The Street: A Bike Theft Epidemic?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
This week I have heard complaints from no less than three people who have had their bicycles being stolen in the Garden Spot. Whether or not this is a coincidence (READ: I have by chance encountered more— and/or more vocal— people who have has their bikes stolen or if this is an indication of an uptick in petty theft) is anyone’s guess. In any case I feel compelled to write a couple things. Here they are.
1. The 94th Precinct registers bicycles (so in the event they are stolen they can traced via a serial number they will assign and engrave on said bike). This service is totally free and you can make an appointment by contacting Officer Moulterie (the woman spearheading this project) via telephone at (718) 349 – 3879. DO IT!
2. LOCK UP YOUR BICYCLES! One of the people I spoke to who had his bicycle stolen this week because he left it unattended (READ: unlocked) while he ducked into his apartment to get something. While by and large Greenpointers are honest, good folk that fact of the matter is some of our number are not. Be street smart and keep a careful eye on your personal property (be it a bicycle or otherwise).
3. I would advise each and every person who has had his (or her) bicycle stolen to bring this to the attention of the commanding officer of the 94th, Deputy Inspector Fulton, at the upcoming Community Council meeting (which is next week!)
94th Precinct Community Council Meeting
September 20, 2010 7:30 p.m. (every third Monday of the month)
Capital One Bank (AKA: The Greenpoint Savings Bank)
807 Manhattan Avenue, Calyer Street Entrance
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Bushwick Carbeque Watch: Homie Don’t Play That
Today, as many of you know, did not start on a very auspicious note for yours truly. Instead of letting a little black grime set the tone for my day I looked at it this way:
It can only get better from here.
And that, it did. After doing a little cursory cleaning I met up with a very talented photographer (and fellow Greenpointer!): Noah Devereaux. We proceeded to walk from Greenpoint to Broadway Junction. It took us the better part of four hours to do this— but do it we did! We saw a lot of interesting stuff and met some very interesting people along the way. It was on Ellery Street that we stumbled upon the following: a carbeque.
There’s a lot more going on here than initially meets the eye, as you will see!
Here are a couple of shots of the front.
The interior proved to be a treasure trove of interesting items including— but not limited to:
- An umbrella
- An empty pack of ciggies and bottle of soda
- And a lease
But the real object of interest (and what makes this carbeque truly special in my humble opinion) resides in the trunk:
- Clown paraphernalia.
If this car could talk I am certain it would have quite the interesting tale to tell.
But for now we’ll have to be content with the mystery. I guess this is how they roll in Bushwick.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Degentrification Watch: IMBY
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Culture War, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Last winter, dear readers, Chez Shitty got it’s first bona fide gentrifier: a young woman replete with a SUV-sized stroller and a toddler to accompany it. The residents took this (along with said stroller occupying our hallway) in good humor until our new neighbor decided things needed to change in her new abode. More specifically she decided that the smoke emanating from certain apartments was— despite the manifold number of other health hazards to be had in the Garden Spot— injurious to her young un’s health. To this end she posted an anonymous sign— in the dead of winter— admonishing everyone to open their windows when they smoked. Not only was this missive poorly received (it was ripped down before I could photograph it) but her attempt at anonymity was downright comical: all the residents on my building have lived here for at least five years. Most longer. We communicate with each other when we problems arise. We do not leave notes. Suffice it to say we knew who the note came from and got a big chuckle out of it.
Now jump forward to August 29, 2010. When I left the building this was posted on the front door.
One the one hand I would be remiss if I didn’t experience more than a little schadenfreude when I read this missive. We all leave crap in the hallway— at our own risk. I tend to leave stuff I want taken (it’s been my observation that clothing and “men’s magazines” go pretty fast). One the other, I feel a little bad about this boy’s lost guitar. Not that I am going to lose any sleep over it, mind you. Straight up: if you value your property keep it in your apartment.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: An Attempted Hit & Run On Nassau Avenue?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
This week has been a busy one for yours truly. I have been out more this week than I usually am in a month! Last night after watching a man vomit on the G train platform while a man was playing the banjo and singing a song from a Disney movie I realized what I have been missing. This morning when I checked out my inbox I was reminded that what transpires on the G train is child’s play (no pun intended) compared what goes down on our thoroughfares. Brandon writes:
For what it’s worth, there was a pretty crazy wreck last night on the corner of Nassau and Humboldt in Greenpoint. My wife and I crossed Nassau walking south, and about 10 seconds after we crossed a medium-sized black SUV whipped down the street at maybe 40 miles an hour and SLAMMED into a parked car on the right side of the street. The SUV almost flipped over, tilting over on its left tires at ALMOST a 90 degree angle, then smashed back down to the ground. The car driver apparently then freaked out and hit the gas hard, slamming into the car just in front of the first one. I think the driver was probably considering a hit and run, but then saw the crowd of about 20 or 30 people gathering around. I called 911, but after about 5 min. left the scene after it appeared that the cops were on their way, and a large crowd had gathered around the vehicles involved. I can’t find a single mention of this in the news, on blog, or on Twitter. Have you heard anything? What happened? Was anyone seriously hurt? Curious if you or your readers know what happened.
So do I. Does anyone have the 411 on this? If so, please share via comments or via email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com. Oh yeah: YIKES!
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: A Dispatch From Engert Avenue
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
E writes (in regards to this post):
Miss Heather,
I have no idea if this is coincidence or not but last night around 4am we had a break in at our building 76 Engert Ave, a group of young Hispanic teens buzzed their way into our building and took over our lobby (no doorman or anything) and ran down to our storage units and stole a bike and large box of containing personal items to one of the tenants here. I recovered the box but the bike is gone. Called the cops, they came and I went with them to indentify the kids since I only saw their backs as they were running and they were teenage Hispanic kids, the cop kept asking them what they were doing all the way over here and I heard one of them say they were at a party…..
If there is a lesson to be learned here it is: if you live in a building such as this do NOT blindly buzz people in.Have your guests call when they arrive and then buzz them in— or better yet: meet them in the lobby and let them in personally. While this may seen like an inconvenience, the fact is it will help prevent opportunistic crimes such this. What’s more, this is not just about property. It is about protecting the personal safety of your friends and neighbors. Be a good neighbor: keep a watchful eye on who gains access to your building.
Miss Heather
LAST GASP: Ode To A Bike Thief
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I thought I was going to end today’s postage with a woman giving not-so-thinly veiled ministrations to a bottle of wine. What can I say? My mind has decided to join my mouth in the gutter of late. Personally I blame the weather. Anyhoo, when I checked out my photo pool and found this item from algul siento my inner 14 year old squealed with delight. Something this special (and strangely sexual) simply could not wait until tomorrow!
…I hope you die riding on my parts.
(priceless)
Miss Heather
Stolen On Manhattan Avenue: Fuji Police Bike
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I spied this flier coming home this afternoon. I realize the copy is a bit difficult to read so here is a transcription:
On 8/13/2010 all black FUJI POLICE bicycle (as depicted) has been stolen at Manhattan Ave (in front of THE GARDEN store) If you have any information about this bicycle call at…(excised) Reward will be given to anyone who helps find this bike.
If you have seen this bicycle or know of its whereabouts please contact its rightful owner at the above telephone number. A $300 dollar for its return is being offered. In closing (and once again) please register your bicycles at the 94th Precinct. This service is (once again) totally free. You can learn how to make an appointment by clicking here.
Miss Heather
Stolen In Red Hook: Solanum Quitoense
Filed under: 11231, Carroll Gardens, Carroll Gardens Brooklyn, Criminal Activity, Red Hook, Red Hook Brooklyn
I honestly do not know where to start with this item (which I found on Union Street this afternoon) so I will leave you with these three points:
- The amount of detail in this flier is truly astonishing. I am particularly impressed with the description of the flavor of the fruit this plant life bears and the photograph of the glove found at the scene of the crime. I won’t even go into the root knot nematodes (because until today I had no idea what they are, much less the fact they existed).
- “the pimple whisperer” = brilliant
- “hew-haw” = just made into my vocabulary
- Okay that makes four points. In any case I sincerely hope Emma (AKA: “the pimple whisperer”) gets her Solanum Quitoense back— and soon!
Miss Heather
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