Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Come Out To Play!
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
L (who sent the above photograph) writes:
The bus to nowhere…
This bus has been stuck on our block (Engert Ave) since 7 am yesterday morning when I came out this morning the bus was still there but someone has spray painted the entire bus all the way around……now it kinda looks like a scene out of “The Warriors”…
…Can’t wait to see what’s in store for tomorrow, maybe garbage can fires inside the bus with heavily armed post apocalyptic 80’s punks….”Can yooooouuuuu diiiggg It”!!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Chez Shitty Gets A Very Special Christmas Present!
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
(Or: Mystery Solved!)
This is a close-up of our living room window. As you will notice there is has a hole in it. This phenomenon has been the source of considerable debate in Chez Shitty for some time.
How did it get there?
We have asked ourselves. Alas to no avail. Until today and courtesy of Jerzy tearing down the drapery rod gracing said window, that is.
This is what the Mister discovered when he endeavored to hang the aforementioned rod back up. The round item at the far right is a BB. For those of you who are not in the know, these are generally discharged from fire arms. Yup.
Happy Greenpoint Christmas to all, and to all a good-night…
SLH (on the behalf of Miss Heather)
P.S.: The Mister and I have our suspicions as to who was the author of this misdeed. The Mister describes him as follows:
That little bastard who likes to shine the laser pointer in our window.
Now At McCarren Park: Indecent Exposure
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
I feel compelled to bring this item (which was taken November 22nd by Miss Mousey Brown) to my fellow Greenburgers’s attention. She writes:
This young man is not a public urinator. He is an exhibitionist or public self- pleasurer. This was a little before school let out. This person fondled his genitals on top of his jeans for a minute while surveying the landscape of joggers, soccer players , and me. He pulled out his penis for about one minute, displayed it to all of the north-face of Bayard street and then he decided to put “it” away.
Can you imagine what it will be like when the McCarren Park Pool reopens? He’ll feel like a kid in a candy store! In all seriousness, please be on the lookout for this chap— and if you spot him “at work” call 911Â STAT! This is gross.
Miss Heather
P.S.: For those of you who are wondering (you know who you are) and identification purposes this chap is purported to be rather well endowed.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Wrath
This items hails from Bushwick and comes courtesy of my buddy Carnade. He writes:
From bushwick. The middle note reads “TO: The one who took Mail. The is not your is 10 year in Jail but the lord is my defense N my God is the rock of my refuge and he shall cut off in there own wickedness yea the Lord our God shall cut them off. You took my Letters in side my box my God is going to cut off your days are over. Child from Satan He is going to do justice for me I dont do evil. The evil people are going to hell.”
Wouldn’t just a call to the Postal Inspector suffice?
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Recession Watch: Leonard Street
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
When I see something such as this two things come to my mind:
- Wow, things must really be bad if someone has been reduced to stealing garbage bags.
- Clearly the author of this missive has never tried to file a stolen property report at the 94th Precinct.
Miss Heather
Hit & Run In Greenpoint: Witnesses Wanted
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Apparently this has been making the rounds on Facebook but I spied the above flier on Nassau Avenue this afternoon. If ant of you, dear readers, or anyone you know witnessed this horrible incident (which came to pass at Calyer and Franklin Street) please shoot an email to the above-listed email address. Let’s help catch these folks!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Out With The Old, In With The New
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Mediterranean Shawarma is now— or will soon be— Four Seasons Closeout 2.0!
Where there was once a travel agency comes a(nother) pharmacy.
And those of you requiring, um, tailoring will be delighted to know Sastreria San Miguel is in effect across the street from its former location.
Albeit in the basement. Which is where I saw these men working last night.
Given there is a Stop Work Order for an illegal basement apartment at the above-listed location I find this, to say the least, interesting. Especially since the word on the street is that Sastreria San Miguel is paying $500 $600 a month to rent this space and a number of men clearly not desirous of haberdashery are hanging around there. Hmm…
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Zeitgeist
Filed under: 11206, Criminal Activity, Dog Shit Signage, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
I could tell something was afoot when I passed a youth wearing a t-shirt which read as follows:
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
Have a nice day.
If there’s one thing I have observed about East Williamsburg over the years it is its citizens do not mince words. This is a large reason why I find this neighborhood so endearing: they say whatever is on their mind. CASES IN POINT:
I encounter this pup on Lorimer Street. When I inquired of his “person” as to what his friend’s name was he replied:
Give me your phone number.
To wit I replied:
If he has a cell phone— and I trust he does— I’ll be more than happy to program it into his phone since I have opposable thumbs.
It took a moment, but he got the joke and ‘fessed up that this— his— dog has no name. He asked me to give him one— and I did: Amos. As I have mentioned fairly recently, I grew up with a bulldog with just this name as a kid. That was a good enough reason as any so it stands: Amos it is!
Montrose Avenue
While no explanation is given methinks what happened here is pretty clear: this person had his (her?) bike stolen. I can only wonder what Janice Sadik Khan would think of this. But I digress. As I continued down the street— pondering the fact this act of theft came to pass a mere five minute walk from the 90th Precinct all the while— I stumbled upon this.
Wow, they really do have a problem here.
I thought to myself. And this.
Yup.
And last— but hardly least— this find from Graham Avenue
I will readily admit my command of Spanish (or pretty much anything for that matter) was not up to par today— it was one of those days. We all have them. But the message gets across nonetheless.
I love a happy ending! *sigh*
Miss Heather
A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement: Lose Something?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
If the above-depicted item belongs to you might want to swing by the intersection of Diamond Street and Meserole Avenue and pick it up before the local constabulary does. It is located directly across the street from Cafe Grumpy.*
Miss Heather
*To answer the question before you ask it: No, I did not take this bag of fun. As a general rule I do not consume items I find on the street in Greenpoint. To date there has been one notable exception to this practice: 7-8 years ago my buddy Rachael and I found a magnum of champagne inexplicably left in the street at the intersection of Guernsey and Meserole Avenue. After we ascertained the wrapper was intact (and deduced it was left for us by Greenpoint drinking gnomes or some disgruntled Post Office employee) we took it home and consumed it. It was a little flat, but hey, it was free! Ah, memories…
P.S.: You know the ‘nabe is really getting tony when you find baggies of grass this size gracing your sidewalks! Cheech and Chong would be proud!
P.S. #2: This post goes out to the very special Greenpointer who dropped by my place of employment this afternoon so as to give me a business card and request I call him/her lest I ever find anything of this nature near Cafe Grumpy— or anywhere— again.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Props & Bicycle Theft At The Viridian
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
A very nice chap (and Viridian resident), Michael, writes:
Hey Miss Heather,
Avid reader, first time tipper. First I gotta say I love the blog – really great stuff. Indispensable if you live in GP. And congrats on the NY Mag article!
I wanted to write you b/c my 2 bikes were stolen from the Viridian garage (110 Green Street) yesterday (I think). They were last seen on Thursday at 11:30pm and were gone this morning around noon. The 2 bikes were: 1) 1980’s Schwinn World Sport – blue frame with black handle bars, fixed and 2) 1980’s Windsor Carrera Sport – gray frame with red handlebars. I’m really bummed about them being stolen… Maybe you or one of your readers will see them around town. If you do please let me know! Thanks again and keep on rockin!
First off, thanks for the incredibly nice words Michael. They are greatly appreciated! You might be interested to know I will be featured on L Magazine’s web site this upcoming week— so keep an eye out! Otherwise, if anyone has seen a bicycle fitting either of the above descriptions please contact Michael via email at: michael (dot) auerbach (at) gmail (dot) com.
Thanks!
UPDATE, October 3, 2010: Michael has gotten one of his bikes back! He writes:
I got 1 back! Saw some dude with the Windsor on green. Said he found it on the end of Huron street and he gave I back to me! Still missing the Schwinn tho! I hope we can get it back!!!
Miss Heather
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