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Culture on the Cheap
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Broadway
Filed under: Bushwick
Yesterday I extolled upon the benefits of reviving the role of the village idiot. For those of you who remain unconvinced that we Americans don’t have the “stuff” to produce best damned ones this planet can muster, go the the intersection of Broadway and Patchen Avenue. You will come back a believer.
I was laughing so hard when I saw this I almost hyperventilated.
Miss Heather
Feeling Lonely?
Filed under: Bushwick
I realize that Valentine’s Day has come and gone. And with its passing I am certain a number of you are probably feeling a little lonesome. It is hard to meet quality people in this city, hence the reason I opted to have my husband shipped from out of state. Whether or not this was a good decision on my part only time will tell. But I digress.
I have learned the situation for all you New York Shitty singles out there is not entirely hopeless. This weekend I got the inside scoop on a little known place you can meet that special someone. Got your pen and paper ready love seekers? Good. Here we go.
Step 1: Get a bag of garbage. Kitchen, bathroom, recycling— any kind will do.
Step 2: With your bag of trash in tow, take the J or M train to Flushing Avenue.
Step 3: Go to this building on Ellery Street between Broadway and Beaver Street.
Step 4: Proceed to the area indicated by the arrow.
Step 5: Start opening your bag of garbage as if you intend to dump it. (Trust me, I know what I’m talking about here.)
Presto! You just got some companionship over a cup of coffee! Of course whether or not you land that crucial second date is anyone’s guess. I wouldn’t get my hopes too high, though: if all the refuse in front of this sign is any indication, this person is pretty popular.
Good luck!
Miss Heather
Hooper Needs Help
This little guy was trapped during a recent trap-neuter-return sortie by the ever-fantastic proprietress of Last Night’s Dinner, Jenblossom. Here’s his story in her words:
This is Hooper, a 3 month old kitten who is one of 9 strays Mike and I trapped from our back yard over the course of the last week. Hooper somehow managed to break both bones in his right front leg, but this tough little guy still climbed fences and played around with his siblings for a couple of weeks until we could catch him and get him help.
That help was provided by some amazing friends: the BARC shelter in Williamsburg donated space in their warehouse to house the cats temporarily; the ASPCA provided us with spay/neuter services at no cost as part of their humane Trap-Neuter-Return program; and the medical professionals at City Critters got Hooper examined, x-rayed and patched up. Hooper is on the mend, with about two weeks of cage rest ahead of him before he can be neutered and returned home to his mom and siblings.
Mike and I plan to make a donation to help defray the costs of the care Hooper has received from these wonderful people. If you’d like to contribute, please feel free to contact me by email, or send funds by Pay Pal to jnblssm at yahoo dot com. You can also make a donation directly to City Critters at www.citycritters.org.
Thank you.
No, thank you Jen for taking the time to care for those furry little ones who cannot defend themselves. Not surprisingly, Hooper has taken a shine to us humans after all the tender loving care he has received. Anyone interested in adopting him can contact Lisacat via Flickr mail.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Lisacat
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Jousting Birdhouses
Filed under: Bushwick
From Jefferson Street.
Miss Heather
Valentine’s Day Photo du Jour: Bushwick
Filed under: Bushwick
From Central Avenue.
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photos du Jour: Grove Street
Filed under: Bushwick
When I awoke this afternoon (Yes, you read me correctly: I was up quite late doing some prep work for tonight’s dinner— which will be chana dal with mint sauce. Yummy.) I was shocked to see how many hits my post about “New York City’s ugliest new building” had received. When I write the previous my intent is not to boast, rather, I am shocked so many people would want to look at something so soulless and depressing.
Let’s face facts: the world can be an ugly enough place already. Why do the developers responsible for these building see fit to make matters worse? It’s probably just plain ol’ greed, but life is about a lot more than money. For this reason I am going to share something of a decidedly more upbeat nature today.
And you’ll be hard-pressed to find anything more cheerful than this great house on Grove Street.
The shrubbery is spray painted silver.
Not only is the fence painted sky blue and festooned with flowers and tinsel…
but the garbage cans are painted to match!
How could a person possibly feel unhappy in an environment such as this? There are only four words to describe how the above photograph makes me feel:
I
LOVE
THIS
HOUSE!!!
Miss Heather
Great Moments in Aluminum Siding, Volume XIII
If any of the following describe you:
- I am the Wicked Witch of the West (and cannot bear water)
- I am Count Dracula (and cannot withstand sunlight)
- I want to have the most badass water slide on the block.
the house of your dreams awaits on Woodbine Street.
Watch out for that fence, it’ll poke ya!
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!
No need for long tresses hon, the siding is there! Weee!
Miss Heather
Real Dogs and Killer Frogs
Filed under: Bushwick
As I indicated in the previous post, the husband and I decided the luxury two family homes at Gates and Wilson Avenue were simply not for us. Being the fineass dog shit queen I am, mere Fedders boxes will simply not do: they must be Friedrich. Or— as I learned shortly thereafter, I should quit quibbling about boxes altogether and just move into one.
This one. Unlike its counterpart down the street, this palatial estate is appointed with a number of thoughtful little extras that make a house a home.
It has a knife wielding frog…
and a phat stereo system protected by razor wire and the Virgin Mary. But what’s the point of savoring some thumping beats on a brisk February afternoon if you don’t have a place to rest your weary bones and relax, you ask? Say no more!
It even comes with its own potty chair! Not only can you kick it octogenarian style, but when nature calls you can put her on hold. Indefinitely. Fuck Fresh Direct refrigerators and concierges— both are overrated anyway— THIS is what I call added value!
Miss Heather
They’re #1 At Building #2
Recently the Mister and I argued until the wee hours of the morning as to whether we should renew our (rent-stabilized) lease for one year or two. His argument was that the housing market was going to collapse, my argument was as follows:
Do you really want to move all the fucking shit we have in this apartment to another fucking apartment in the hopes of getting a better deal?
While not necessarily eloquent, my logic prevailed. We have a lot of shit. We have a lot of cats. But that doesn’t stop us from checking out all the sweet deals north Brooklyn has to offer of late. Like this gem at the intersection of Gates and Wilson Avenue.
Miss H: This is exquisite! Just look at the fake keystones, cement, exposed electrical meters and Fedders boxes.
Mr. Heather: We’re upwardly mobile, we should hold out for Friedrichs.
Miss H: You’re right, we need to keep up appearances. My parents wouldn’t be caught dead near a Fedders box. This is not the way I want to greet Pa Heather when he finally sees the light and decides New York Shitty is the place to live.
What’s more, I don’t think the outhouse could withstand his depth-charges.
If any of you are looking “high quality housing” on the cheap be sure to call-a-head and learn about this studio apartment just around the corner! They’re #1 at building #2!
Miss Heather
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