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Subway Photos du Jour: Poster Boy
Filed under: Bushwick
I have long meant to showcase this chap’s handiwork on New York Shitty but somehow never got around to it. When I looked at his latest masterpieces this morning on flickr I knew it was time. Here we go.
He does not indicate where either of the above posters are located, but I suppose that isn’t really important. They’re HILARIOUS. Those of you who want to goof off awhile today should check out Poster Boy’s other stuff on flickr. It’s one of the best time wasters out there!
Miss Heather
Subway Photos du Jour: Sex In Midwood
So you live in north Brooklyn and are a veritable commuting Casanova. What’s more, you are really proud of your conquests. What do you do?
- Keep a diary of your sexual prowess.
- Call your friends and tell them every salacious detail.
- Document your activities on a subway map at the Lorimer Street stop of the L for all to enjoy.
If you picked item #3 CONGRATULATIONS! You are worthy of calling yourself a true Williamsburger!
Hmm, what do we have here? A three-way in Crown Heights. Kinky!
A friend of mine recently told me about growing up in Midwood. He said it was boring. Obviously he didn’t know the right people.
You know when I see shit like this I realize how very, painfully, EXCRUCIATINGLY dull my life really is. Damn.
Miss Heather
Two Things That Don’t Go Very Well Together
On September 11, 2008 Mark India commented (in regards to this post):
…And really, this is New York. Are you telling me you’ve ALWAYS obeyed EVERY traffic sign?*
Well as a motorist I have. Here’s why: I have never driven an automobile in this city nor do I ever intend to. As a matter of fact if it has wheels chances are you will not be seeing me operating it anytime soon. Two things I have had to cope with in my life are limitations and anger management. When it comes to operating a vehicle I have learned that the former informs the latter. I am not a terribly patient person— and driving in New York City requires a lion’s share of this gift. One I simply do not possess. Therefore I have found it to be in my (and probably the PUBLIC’S) best interest to leave my mobility to my own two feet, the MTA or (if I’m feeling lucky) a cabbie.
Sure, I still find myself muttering “Who the fuck taught this clown how to drive?”. OFTEN. But I am not manning two tons of steel when I do so. The way I see it I can either:
- Reform each and every idiotic operator of a moving vehicle personally or
- Remove myself from interfacing with said motorists.
Realizing point #2, dear readers, was A BIG MILESTONE regarding anger management for me. I leave my transportation needs to the professionals. What’s more walking has opened up a whole new world for me. I see things I would never have noticed if I was speeding around in a car. FUN THINGS. Like this.
I found this card on Graham Avenue near Scholes Street. Terrified —yet amused— I picked it up. Here’s what I found on the back.
The next time I find myself asking how some clown learned how to drive I will have the answer: El Payasito! I wonder if he drives a SUV like this?
In all seriousness folks, clowns and auto school advertising do not mix.
Miss Heather
*I’m just busting your chops, Mark. No ill will intended— and I hope none was taken. We’re all hypocrites anyway— I just happen to be one who is tired of dodging bikes and landing on the hood of cars**. Imagine how many more good motorists New York City would have if they simply turned in their keys and rode the bus! 🙂
**I have only done this once (and for the record I had the right of way). Trust me, one time is enough.
East Williamsburg Photo du Jour: 1 In 6
From the corner of Meserole and Humboldt Street.
Miss Heather
THIS WEEKEND: Scent & Cinema
First up I have been advised there are still seats available for this weekend’s cruise up shit creek. Anyone interested in enjoying this upcoming Sunday by having “an intense Newtown Creek exploration” on a “comfortable charter boat” should can purchase tickets via:
I have been told complimentary soft drinks and snacks will be served.
Newtown Creek Boat Tour
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Boat leaves at 1:00 p.m. from the Skyport Marina at East 23rd Street
For those of you who do not find the previous to be your cup of tea, 3rd Ward will be kicking off the first evening of NYC’s Best Short Films the very same day:
This FREE screening series, brings the very best in local filmmaking to Brooklyn. The debut show on September 14th will feature Matthew Lessner’s Darling Darling, starring our favorite awkward teen from Juno and Arrested Development, Michael Cera, Astronauts Visit New York by Joanne Getson and Carmen by Leat Klingman, Re’ut Ben-Ze’ev, and Claudia La Rocco.
NYC’s Best Film Shorts
September 14, 2008 (second Tuesday of every month thereafter)
Third Ward
195 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11237
Doors open at 7:00 p.m. Interested attendees should RSVP via email at: moviehouse (at) 3rdward (dot) com
Miss Heather
Open Call For Provocative Work At Third Ward
3rd Ward Fall Solo Show: An Open Call to Find One Extraordinary Artist.
This nation-wide open call for ambitious, distinct and provocative work is open to artists working in all mediums – sculpture, photography, painting, printmaking, motion graphics, illustration, installation, industrial design, graphic design, film, video and more. For this call we are joined by sponsoring organization, Gawker Artists and this year’s Judging Panel includes Clay Rockefeller, co-founder of The Steel Yard and Anita Durst, founder of Chashama.
The Selected Artist will receive:
* $1,000 cash grant
* 1-month residency at 3rd Ward with FULL facility access
* An exhibition and huge opening reception at 3rd Ward
* City-wide exposureSubmissions are being accepted through September 26, 2008.
Artists can submit their best work at: http://www.3rdward.com/fallsoloshow
I’m going to submit my provocative work— or would it be an indecent proposal? I wish to (further) boobify Brooklyn, take photographs of the results and have a one person show whose proceeds are given to the Susan G. Komen Foundation To Cure Breast Cancer.
Miss Heather
Fedders Friday: Back To Basics In Bed Stuy
As I indicated yesterday, I took a rather long walk. I rambled through Greenpoint. I knocked around East Williamsburg and even a little Bushwick. Then I arrived at the home of much Fedders goodness: Bedford Stuyvesant. Here are some of my findings.
This beauty hails from Broadway. Note the prominently placed electric meters and extensive use of stick-on numbers. Clearly the person responsible for this building spared no expense: those numbers cost $1.99 a pop!
This charming specimen comes from Monroe Street. As I was taking the above photograph a child was wailing from the second window from the top left.
Maybe these satellite dishes offended his aesthetic sensibilities…
or Dong Dong (conveniently located at the end of the block) was taking to long to deliver his Chow Mein? Only he knows for certain.
This selection hails from Tompkins Avenue. For those of you not in the know, this thoroughfare is named after Daniel D. Tompkins, former New York State Governor and the 6th Vice President of the United States. Per Wikipedia:
While as governor of New York, Tompkins personally borrowed money and used his own property as collateral when the New York state legislature would not approve the necessary funds for the War of 1812. After the war, neither the state nor the federal government reimbursed him so he could repay his loans. Years of litigation did not end until 1824, and it took a toll on his health. Tompkins fell into alcoholism, and as vice president he at times presided over the Senate while drunk. He died in Tompkinsville three months after retiring as Vice President and was interred in the Minthorne vault in St. Mark’s Churchyard, New York City. Tompkins had the shortest post-vice presidency of any person who survived the office: 99 days (March 4, 1825–June 11, 1825).
Dying in disgrace (and being a Vice President) is bad enough. Do we really need to erect crap like this on the street that bears his name?
I mean the man DID help fund the War of 1812— out of his own pocket, no less.
But I suppose if this is the treatment Lafayette gets he is in good company.
Nonetheless, it strikes me as being a little unfair. I mean, if this is how we treat the memory of a pretty good Governor (if a bit marginal Vice President), how will time treat someone like Dick Cheney or Eliot Spitzer? My mind cannot muster anything suitable for Mr. Cheney, but I think I have Mr. Spitzer covered.
Former New York City Mayor James “Jimmie” J. Walker (who was hardly a saint but sure knew how to coin a phrase) was once quoted as saying:
A reformer is a guy who rides through the sewer in a glass bottom boat.
Methinks Mr. Spitzer did a little more than simply ride through the sewer in a glass bottom boat. I think he took a nice long bath.
Therefore I would like to humbly suggest that Greenpoint’s very own shit tits be renamed the Eliot L. Spitzer Memorial Waste Treatment Facility*. Thoughts anyone?
Miss Heather
*Sure, the man ain’t dead yet but his career in politics sure as hell is!
Bushwick Photos du Jour: The Rock
Filed under: Bushwick
I have seen a great number of unusual things while walking around Bushwick. Now I can add this one to the list.
A plaid rock.
Those of you who want to check this out in person (and it is rather nifty*) should head down to the intersection of Evergreen Avenue and George Street.
You’ll find it by the entrance of Citi Towing.
Miss Heather
*I wonder if Ms. Genutis will follow up with an argyle one? I can only hope so!
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