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New York Shitty Slide Show Du Jour: Morris Parkitecture
Filed under: Bronx
One of the cool things about Morris Park is a walk around the neighborhood is like going back in time. Many of its storefronts have hardly been touched in 30, 40 and perhaps even 50 years. Follows is a selection of my favorite sights from today’s day trip. Enjoy!
Tomorrow I will conclude my Morris Park sojourn with a little food porn.
Miss Heather
Morris Park Photos Du Jour: Signs
As I indicated previously, today the Mister and I took our “staycation” to the Bronx. The objective of this trip was partake of real, honest-to-god Italian food in New York City’s lesser known “Little Italy”. I will go into the gustatory part of our trip a little later. This post is going to focus on the great variety of signage to be found in my former stomping grounds.
There were plenty run-of-the-mill signs of pick up your dog poo/stay of my lawn variety to be certain. On the other hand there were a quite few that stood head and shoulders above the others— or simply made you scratch your head and say “What the fuck”? Enjoy!
White Plains Road
This is not a sign per se, but it does make light of a failure to communicate.
Morris Park Avenue
A very Morris Park stimulus plan.
It’s the economy stupid!
I cannot find the words to describe this one. That’s why I shot video instead!
MJ and BTUS
Not here to shop? If so, this bodega says beat it!
Haight Avenue
Rhinelander Avenue
This sight made me feel right at home.
Nothing like some good ol’ Bloomblight to bring two boroughs together! (For those of you who are wondering, the inside looks even worse than the outside.) But back to signs— and the strangest pair of messages I have ever seen gracing a single storefront. The following hail from 1084 Morris Park Avenue.
Sure, this one seems simple enough— but look at its companion found six feet to the left.
The stars-n-stripes, Lady Liberty and… HIV?
And with this puzzler I will conclude this installment of my Morris Park adventure. Next up: a selection of Morrisparkitecture. Stay tuned!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Slide Show Du Jour: Memorial Day In The Bronx Part 2
Filed under: Bronx
As I have mentioned previously after checking out my old digs in Morris Park the Mister and I headed to Little Italy. Initially we attempted to do so on foot and ended up at the Bronx Zoo. We backpedaled and decided to let the BX 12 bus do the walking for us. If anyone from Not For Tourists is reading this could you please publish a Bronx guide? I am making this recommendation because although I enjoyed our (not so) little detour tremendously the fact of the matter is my feet most decidedly did not. I learned this the following day. But I digress.
For the previous reason today’s slide show will be a mixed bag. It includes not only photographs of Little Italy, but also Pelham Parkway, Boston Road and several other thoroughfares we happened to find ourselves. Before we proceed I am going to share some highlights from our journey.
I found this lovely old call box on Pelham Parkway outside one of the many Art Deco apartment buildings to be found there. They simply do not make them like this anymore. What’s more, this piece of public property sports one of the most cryptic missives I have ever had the pleasure of reading.
You took a pic of me with a diture camara to wash me and love 1 ones.
Uh-huh. Methinks somewhere in 10462 walks a budding e. e. cummings. Armed with a felt tip marker and unencumbered spellchecker.
The first thing that struck me about “Little Italy” was the presence of a rather sizable Albanian community. This first came to my attention when I spied one of the following piece of religious kitsch.
A clock featuring Mother Theresa praying over a solitary Albanian rose. Not having enough weird crap cluttering up our home I went inside to inquire about this item. I suspect my enthusiasm made me suspect in the shopkeeper’s eyes. He stated it was sun damaged and refused to sell it to me. However, I think he was impressed that I was able to identify a portrait of King Zog. Why would I— not being Albanian— even know who King Zog is, you ask? Well, for starters:
- I read a lot.
- Any country which brought us Enver Hoxha and his manifold contributions to the field of architecture is of particular interest to yours truly. As far as I’m concerned Karl Fischer wouldn’t have a pot to piss in if it were not for this man.
- Anyone named “Zog” is most assuredly someone I will make it a point to know about.
It was also on Arthur Avenue where I found what is easily the most stunning urban gravestone I have beheld to this day.
This bad boy needs to be seen to be believed folks. Simply amazing.
In addition to Albanians this neighborhood also sports a rather sizable Latino community. It was in one bodega on Hughes Avenue that I found the above assortment of pinatas…
and this fragrant assortment of sweets. Before you get the urge to make cruller run I feel compelled to share with you one of the most effective advertising campaigns for weight loss ever concocted.
It hails from this unisex salon on Crescent Avenue…
and is anything but sexy.
I could go on and on about the many interesting things I saw on Arthur Avenue and beyond but I have written far too much already. Instead I’ll leave you with this slide show. Enjoy!
This concludes our virtual tour of the Bronx. Now if you don’t mind I am off to explore the wilderness of north Brooklyn!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Would You Buy A Used Car From This Man?
Filed under: Bronx
As I mentioned yesterday after our jaunt to Morris Park we headed over to Little Italy/Fordham. Sort of. You see, we did not know where we were going. At one point we ended up at the Bronx Zoo. We got out via a street called Boston Road which is where I found the following.
I got a big chuckle out of this sign.
Especially since someone was parked in the spot in question and had not been towed.
Then I noticed who the presided over this establishment was and abruptly stopped laughing.
None other than the king of kings himself. This begs the question as to why he is trifling with a towing company. Why not give dear old dad a ring and have that S.U.V. turned into a much more eco-friendly pillar of salt?
No amount of ticketing or towing is going to deter the drivers of our fair city, whether they man two wheels or four, from behaving like selfish assholes. But if one (hint, hint) were to go Old Testament on their asses things might— just might— change.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Slide Show Du Jour: Memorial Day In Morris Park
Filed under: Bronx
You know what they say: you can’t go home again. This is probably why yesterday’s trip back to my first digs in New York City didn’t affect me too much: it never really felt like home. This is not to suggest I do not like Morris Park. I do very much. I simply elected to live somewhere else.
The one thing that blew Mister Heather away was how nice this neighborhood is. This is not your grandmother’s Bronx. Or perhaps the argument could be made that it is: roses can be found in almost every front yard, trees provide ample shade and, save the odd stoop-side chat or radio playing, it is eerily quiet.
What surprised me was how little Morris Park has changed over the years. Sure, there’s a new Dunkin Donuts on Morris Park Avenue but all (or at least most) of the mom and pop businesses were still there. As a matter of fact, Patricia’s (which serves some of the most amazing Italian food you’ll ever eat— including a dish called spaghetti alla Frank Sinatra) was not only still around— but it was expanding!
I suppose you could say that what north Brooklyn lacks— or what some are endeavoring so hard to eradicate here— Morris Park has in abundance. It is in every conceivable sense a working class community. This probably why I find this neighborhood so interesting. Follows is a slide show I have assembled of my favorite photographs from this day trip. Not only do these images illustrate what I am talking about but I have to confess I am very pleased with a number of them. Enjoy!
Tomorrow we will continue our virtual trip to the Bronx by checking out Little Italy!
Miss Heather
Memorial Day Wrap Up
Filed under: Bronx
I mentioned previously the Mister and I were going to revisit my introduction to New York City: Morris Park, 10461. This we did. And in so doing we walked by one of my favorite contradictions: Peace Plaza.
“Peace Plaza” hosts a number of monuments to those who have fallen in war. World I, World II, the Vietnam “conflict”, Gulf War 1.0 and the terrorist attack on New York City are all commemorated. But among the previous memorials the following is by far my favorite:
How many war monuments in New York City do you know of that employ a term occasionally (but not usually) used in reference to a female dog?* You can leave it to the Bronx and good ol’ L.B.J. to “keep it real”.
Miss Heather
*This is not to suggest I am offended by this. I find it amusing.
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