Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Spotted On Clay Street: Genius
Filed under: 11222, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
As many folks who reside in the Garden Spot or have followed this site for any appreciable period of time can attest: the 11222 loves them some liquor. It should be noted, however, that the imbibing of intoxicating substances is not in and of itself a problem; it is what follows the consumption of said substances (as demonstrated by the above chap spotted by yours truly stopping traffic at the intersection of Greenpoint Avenue and Manhattan Avenue this afternoon) that can create a conundrum. Mind you, this gent is at least upright. The same cannot be said of most of his brethren hereabouts; these individuals have reached (or simply maintain) a level of inebriation which renders all motor function null and void. Thus the question becomes:
How can we give these people mobility?
Well on Clay Street today, gentle readers, yours truly found the answer!
Behold an idea whose time has come: the motorized bar stool!
As you can see this bad boy sports 3.5 horsepower…
is aptly enough called the “Bar Fly” and will (hopefully) be coming to a watering hole or bike lane near you! (Manhattan Avenue or the Pulaski Bridge, perhaps?)
UPDATE, 8:00 p.m.: I have received a most fascinating email!
A chap named Adam (who took the above photograph) writes:
Miss Heather,
So that guy that you photographed stopping traffic on the intersection of greenpoint and manhattan was doing so because he got kicked out of the mcdonalds. I was there having some cheeseburgers with my roommate when, from the corner of my eye, I noticed small plumes of smoke emanating from this guy’s general direction. Upon further inspection I noticed the said gentleman enjoying a cigarette, inside the McDonalds. This photo pretty much sums it up, pure serendipity.
Cheers
NICE.
UPDATE, 9:55 p.m.: It has been brought to my attention that this item can be purchased online. CAVEAT: it’ll cost you.
Miss Heather
Spotted On Morgan Avenue: Overkill
Filed under: 11222, BAD ASS, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Taken June 7, 2011.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Gnomenapping
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
When I initially saw the above tableau this morning on Leonard Street I could not help but chuckle. Then I noticed this little fellow’s hands and feet were bound and became somewhat alarmed. Upon deducing the lady of the house was on the premises, I asked her what gives.
They’re taking him home.
She said smiling. Given the expression on this chap’s face I suspect a rather sinister fate awaits him.
Miss Heather
Spotted On Jefferson Street: The Mother of Invention
Filed under: 11237, Advanced Life Forms, BAD ASS, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, Urban Artifact
Yours truly has spied a number of fascinating urban artifacts during her peregrinations around north Brooklyn. Without argument this one takes the cake. Initially I thought this was some kind of homemade weapon. Upon closer inspection I concluded this item is, in fact, a piece of fitness equipment. More specifically: a barbell.
As you can see, two mop handles, four bricks, duct tape and packing tape have been pressed into service.
Here’s one end.
Here’s the other.
This is pretty damned brilliant if you ask me. In closing, I would like to give a BIG New York Shitty salute to the (anonymous) creator of this item. It’s ingenuity such as this that puts north Brooklyn head and shoulders above the rest. Bravo!
Miss Heather
Spotted In The East Village: Vin Diesel
Filed under: 10003, Advanced Life Forms, BAD ASS, East Village, East Village Manhattan
As I was strolling down East 10 Street today I had the feeling I was being watched.
Sure enough, I was. By none other than Vin Diesel the star of the (certain to be) cinematic masterpiece Fast Five. Needless to say I went in for a closer look.
As I was shutter-bugging away the chap responsible for this tableau came out. I asked him what gives. He told me he found “Vin” on the street and simply had to bring him home and place it in his window. Being the citizen journalist I am I had to know:
I see Mr. Diesel has “SHOOT ME” written on him. Did you do this and if so, why? Do you have something against Mr. Diesel?
My new friend assured me he found Vin this condition and has no issues with Mr. Diesel or Fast Five whatsoever. Rather, he thought it would be fun to have passersby think Vin Diesel was watching them. He then opined:
His eyes seem to follow you. Try it!
The Mister “tried it” and we all concurred that they, in fact, do. As is often the case during my peregrinations, the tables were then turned: the questioner became the questionee! Yours truly was put in the “hot seat”.
Who is the guy next to him?
He asked. To wit I replied:
The Rock.* duh
I am pleased to report I passed this test with flying colors! It was at this time we wished each other well and parted ways. The Mister put it best when he said:
This is why I love living in New York City.
Indeed.
Miss Heather
*Dwayne Johnson my ass. He will always be known to yours truly as “The Rock”.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Ready For The Weekend
That’s right folks: I am calling it an early day. Who needs a LCD tan when she can get a real one on the roof and get in a little Charles Bukowski in the process? Until tomorrow…
Miss Heather
NOTE: I will still be adding footage from last night’s Public Safety Committee meeting.
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