Urban Artifacts: Hang On Baby…

Greenpoint, 11222

This (lest any of you are wondering what “this” is, they are pig’s feet) was (once again) brought to my attention by the author of this mischief (which came to pass July 2013*). Naturally (and in the interest of due diligence) I asked this person to tender his/her thoughts. They are as follows:

Just that the rest of him was delicious we were at a pig roast at (excised) and for some reason I felt the need to take them – just spiraled from there!

So there have you. Speaking as a vegetarian I do not necessarily endorse this act— I am simply passing along the “facts”.

Williamsburg, 11249

I do not think any explanation as to the nature of these objects is necessary. Nonetheless, these photos (which were taken today) bear testement that the north Brooklyn dildo feral epidemic is much more pervasive than I initially thought. The humanity— (or at least a vital component of it)! Note that I have seen fit not to disclose the locations of these hilarious items. I can assure you, gentle readers, I have a very good reason for this. It is as follows:

• On February 23rd of this year I blogged a rather curious renovation in Long Island City. I christened it the “Lego House”. This garnered attention from both Brownstoner Queens and Curbed. Both of the previous saw fit to follow what is considered to be proper “Netiquette”: cite yours truly. Sadly, the same cannot be said for Fox News (no surprise there) or the New York Daily News— both of which saw fit to “amplify” the news about this most curious domicile on March 5th. The latter simply referred to me as a “sympathetic blogger”. I am guessing the rationale for not citing my blog was that their readership would find its url objectionable. Having had my fair share of hearing this as a justification for plagiarism over the years, I have a mirror site with a much less “offensive” url: www.thatgreenpointblog.com. But I digress. Let’s continue!
• On January 11th of this year I visited a buddy of mine who happens to be employed at a business located at the corner of North 6 Street and Bedford Avenue. She asked me if had had seen something rather curious gracing the (I presume) telephone wire thereabouts. This:

• Given this is not the kind of thing one sees every day (at least in North Brooklyn— in the East Village it is fairly commonplace) I took ample photos and blogged Spiderman and his “companion” immediately upon arriving home. Therein I wrote:

…Per the person who brought this to my attention, this hilarious item not only survived the recent blizzard, but has graced this intersection for at least three months.

Once again: this post came to pass on January 11th and therein it was established that this has been around for at least three months.** Do the math. Following me so far? Good. Let’s continue some more!

• Now let’s jump forward to March 6th. Better known to yours truly as the day after one of— if not the most appalling— “community meetings” I have had the misfortune of blogging. Did the New York Daily News deem a number of (purported) community groups in north Brooklyn effectively voting to disenfranchise themselves in an election that was (and I am being very diplomatic when I write this) highly “irregular”— and predicated (if not spoken, understood) upon what is happening regarding the Greenpoint Boathouse— well, “news”? No they did not. Rather, they saw fit to publish this:

Note the highlighted passage. I can only wonder exactly how they came to guesstimate this date. Here perhaps? Here’s the deal:

1. If you want to use my web site as a news source there is no excuse for not citing it. Methinks I have already established why.
2. If a “news outlet” can see fit to publish a news item with a pixelated penis, I fail to see how the word “shitty” is even an issue. Really.
3. I have grown to accept that being credited for my work is an exercise in futility. However, I can make “cherry picking” news items from my blog a mite bit more challenging! Hence:

I am not disclosing where today’s “urban artifacts” are located. I do not receive compensation for what I post on New York Shitty. The “reporters” at the New York Daily News, Fox, et. al. do. Go get ’em boys (and girls)! There’s “news” to create!

*Just in case our local news outlets elect to make hay of this in lieu of, say, actual events that impact peoples’ lives on a real, lasting and fundamental level.

**NOTE: I did a follow-up post on Valentine’s Day as well. It struck me as being appropriate.