Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
WANTED AT SHAYZ LOUNGE: Pianist
I never had patience required to master the piano. I do, however, have a very healthy appreciation for those who have. For this reason I couldn’t resist passing along this solicitation for pianists at Shayz Lounge. No details are given as to what (if any) compensation is in the offering. But hey, you get to twinkle the same ivories as Herbie Hancock— and there’s something to be said for that!
Shayz Lounge
130 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
Reader Participation Time
When I was in elementary school my teachers often doled out story-telling exercises. My classmates and I would each be handed an object (or an image of people doing one thing or another) and we were charged with writing a story based upon it. In hindsight I realize the purpose of these assignments was (among other things) to gauge whether or not there were any crazies in the classroom. To the best of my knowledge none were detected (and trust me, there were a few loose nuts to be found). So much for public education.
I mention the previous anecdote because today I found something on Greenpoint Avenue that is a story crying out to be told.
A female condom adhered to one of Michael Bloomberg’s 1,000,000 trees. In front of our local poultry slaughterhouse, no less.
There are no rules in this reader participation exercise save that the tale must feature this delightful artifact. I’ll get the ball rolling with:
Once upon a time in Greenpoint…
Get cracking folks!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 6:45 p.m.: Apparently this prophylactic has resided on this tree since July 5th.
Laura (who took the above photograph) writes:
I thought you’d like to see the deterioration process of the condom. Here’s how it looked on July 5, 2009 when it was reported to the Parks Dept. For obvious reasons, that’s one tree problem that I’m unwilling to tackle.
P.S.: I threw up a little when I saw this.
Image Credits: Blues Brothers film still courtesy of Bluesbrotherscentral.com
FRIDAY: Greenpoint Open Studios
This is a quick reminder that the Greenpoint Open Studios extravaganza kicks off Friday, September 25, at 7:00 p.m. at WYNC Transmitter Park. More detailed information (including the above itinerary, list of participating galleries and a handy map!) can be yours for the download at Greenpoint Open Studio’s web site. Check it out!
Miss Heather
Sponsors Wanted: Robot Monkey Chimpionship
Dan, the man behind the robots writes (in regards to this post):
Guess who’s coming to Greenpoint on the 26th?! I attached the sponsorship info if you know of any wise individuals or businesses that want to sponsor a team. See you there, I hope. I owe you and your man so much for helping me last time. I’ll buy you drinks at the very least.
Mister Heather was a hero at the last event. He donated AA batteries and a screwdriver (or two) so as ensure the hilarity would proceed. And it did! We felt it was the right thing to do. It was a matter of Greenpoint pride.
And yet despite the Williamsburg Versus Greenpoint Robot Monkey Wars being heavily seeded in our favor, the Garden Spot still lost. But we did so with style, a prodigious use of profanity and an utter disregard for good sportsmanship. This made me proud. For this reason I am going to hustle the $50.00 necessary to make team NEW YORK SHITTY happen! I don’t care if we win or lose— I just want to give my good friends in Manhattan a few compelling reasons why they should stay on their side of the river.
Here’s how you, fellow Brooklynites, can too!
By clicking on the above image you should get a print quality image you can annotate and send to Dan “The Toy Man” Walker via email or snail mail. Both are indicated on the form.
See you Saturday.
Miss “Ready to Kick Some Manhattan Ass/Act Like a Sore Loser” Heather
LAST GASP: The Many Poses Of Ellie The Cat
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I have long intended to write a post dedicated to Ellie, the winsome and very comely tabby who presides over the Polish American Bookstore. Since I have the time, wherewithal and bandwith to spare, I’ll do so here and now.
Last night as my husband, brother in law and I were headed to the Beaner Bar’s One Year Anniversary Fiesta* we— all being crazy cat people— paused in front of 648 Manhattan Avenue. Ellie was in the window. And being the exhibitionistic little minx she is; she noted our attention and gave us a show. Albeit with a hefty measure of coy indifference. Ellie IS a cat after all!
Kitty yoga. This must feel good because Ellie did it several times.
After a good workout it’s always wise to take a bath.
Ellie is very…
VERY…
thorough.
Although I love all furry critters— big and small— this is why I personally prefer cats over dogs**: cats don’t give a damn. Ellie knows she has an audience and she has decided said audience needs to watch her clean her pits.
Then she got bored with us and the owner of the store came out to close shop.
Me: She’s absolutely adorable. What’s her name again?
Owner: Ellie.
Me: You should leave a tip bucket out for her.
Owner: I’ve been considering leaving a sign in the window stating that people can come in and pet her for $5.00 a rub.
For those of you who are not in the know, the Polish American Bookstore has wonderful postcards (from Greenpoint, Nowy York!) and t-shirts (I <3 Greenpoint, among others). Most importantly it is the home of Ellie the cat. Why not swing by and give her a scratch or belly rub? Be advised certain fees may apply— so have your Lincolns handy!
Polish American Bookstore
648 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
*Which did not disappoint. It was GREAT!
**Although both can lick their balls. I am convinced this is why our four-legged friends seem to be much happier than their human counterparts. And why humans are more productive, if less happy; one half of our species has nothing better to do.
New York Shitty Day Ender: The End Of An Era?
Champ writes:
Just noticed the “Hotel” sign is gone and there’s a fresh coat of paint on the front. Heard anything? Up for sale or perhaps just renovating? Hoping for the former!!
For those of you who are unaware, the Greenpoint Hotel recently exchanged hands. The word on the street is it will be converted into a rehab facility. Lucky us.
The Greenpoint Hotel is dead!
Long live the Greenpoint Hotel!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Photo Du Jour: Greetings From The Bronx
As I have mentioned previously my brother in law is currently staying with us. Since he is only here for four days we have a jam-packed itinerary. Today the Mister took him to Lomzynianka Restaurant for some blue chip Polish vittles. They were provided a little post-meal entertainment in the manner of a crazy lady screaming at no one in particular on Manhattan Avenue. If the previous is not THE quintessential Greenpoint experience I honestly don’t know what is. But I digress.
Yesterday’s destination on our gustatory tour de force of the outer boroughs was Morris Park. After we gorged ourselves on ungodly amounts of Italian food at Patricia’s we went for a little walk. It was at the intersection of Lydig and Crueger Avenue that we stumbled upon this.
I cannot decipher the bottom half of this missive but I do not think it diminishes the author’s message in any way. The first five letters pretty much say it all.
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Take It Back
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
This great image (which hails from North 3rd Street) was a much-needed reminder to yours truly that this Saturday, September 26, 2009 starting at 11:00 a.m. Project ENVISION Williamsburg will be hosting a launch party at our very McCarren Park. Here are the details from the event’s organizer, Jennifer Wyse, as culled from the CB1 Yahoo Group:
Hi everyone!
My name is Jennifer Wyse and I am a member of the Project ENVISION Williamsburg
coalition. Project ENVISION is a group of community members and New York City
rape crisis service providers dedicated to sexual violence prevention through
community involvement. We want YOU to tell us how you envision sexual violence
stopping in Williamsburg!On SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26TH, come welcome our group to the neighborhood with food, a raffle, speakers and FUN in MCCARREN PARK Field House, from 11:00 am to 3:00 pm! We will be presenting the results of our research about sexual violence in Williamsburg and asking for YOUR input and involvement!
Anyone interested in learning more about this event or Project ENVISION can do so by clicking here. Spread the word!
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greenpoint 100?
Katherine writes:
Hi Miss Heather,
Don’t mean to bother, but I was wondering whether you had heard anything about the Greenpoint 100 (at the GP Public Library) happening again this year. (I got word of it last year through your blog, and scored some fine art.) If so, could you post it on the blog?
In any case, thanks for keeping us all up to date on local happenings!
I have been wondering about this as well. So today I placed a call to the Greenpoint Branch of the New York Public Library. The very nice lady who fielded my inquiry was more than happy to give me the fundraising 411:
- Yes, there will be another Greenpoint 100. It will be conducted in spring 2010.
- However, there will be a book sale/bake sale October 24, 2009 and they are accepting donations of books.
- I asked if local businesses would be welcome to donate baked goods to the aforementioned event and she stated she did not know. However, she is going to look into the matter and get me an answer in the next week or so.
In the meantime any and all who have some books to spare and want to lend our local library a hand can drop them off at:
The New York Public Library, Greenpoint Branch
107 Norman Avenue (at the corner of Leonard Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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