Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Starter: Home For The Holiday?
Filed under: 11101, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City
I don’t know about you, but I relish staying in the city during Thanksgiving. I have long since tired of negotiating airports and throngs of churlish people endeavoring to reach their respective destinations. I crave peace and quiet. Unfortunately, a number of my friends have followed suit and now the Mister and I face the daunting decision of selecting social engagements.
And after strolling down Manhattan Avenue Saturday night we face yet another option.
The word on the street is Rush Hour Gentleman’s Club in beautiful Blissville, Queens will be having a pre-Thanksgiving celebration beyond compare. Per the copious number of fliers I encountered (the use of parking meter for marketing purposes is nothing short of genius, by the way) above not only will they be serving a “complimentary traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings” but they will be having a LCD television raffle at midnight (because porn should only be savored in high definition, anything else would be barbaric)! All this (and much more) can be yours with with a mere five minute ride on B24.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Hate
Last night after having long overdue catch-up time with a friend of mine over dinner I found this turd affixed to a pay phone in front of the Dunkin’ Donuts at 862 Manhattan Avenue.
Don’t bother trying to find it. Immediately after taking the above photograph I tore it off and threw it in the garbage (where it rightfully belongs).
For those of you who are wondering “.cc” is the country code for the Cocos (Kealing) Islands, an Australian territory. Mind you, the peeps responsible for producing this sticker (and the website listed therein) are not Aussies: they hail from the good ‘ol U.S. of A. Arkansas as best as I can deduce.* I know this because I looked at their web site (which I will NOT link to out of principle— look it up yourself). A noose graces “Tightrope’s” header and they offer such niceties as mouse pads emblazoned with Barack Obama depicted as a monkey, swastikas and other neo-Nazi crap; exclamations of “Celtic Pride” (which is sort of weird considering the so-called “master race” was supposedly Nordic in origin. The Normans and Celts were enemies. Ask any Irishman or Basque.) and my personal favorite: “The Original Boys in the ‘Hood” (which a sports a number of Klansmen wearing hoods. A double entendre. How clever!).
Speaking as someone who spent a fair amount of her childhood in what the Yankees here call “the south” (Texas**) it has been my observation that the most vocal proponents of white supremacy (such as the people who produced and saw fit to affix this sticker to a Greenpoint pay phone) are the biggest arguments against it. I moved to New York City to get away from this shit. If any of you, dear readers, find a sticker like this do me (and everyone a favor): rip it down.
In closing I’d like to leave you with this. One of my favorite segments from one of my favorite movies.
Miss Heather
*P.O. Box 1116—-Calico Rock, AR.—-72519—USA
**It isn’t. Texas is— for better and worse and all the hype— its own country. The Lone Star State defies categorization. It is what it is.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Nine Four
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
From North 15 Street.
Miss Heather
NEXT WEEK: Heat Season Workshop
Filed under: 11206, 11211, 11222, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Since I have received a number of complaints from folks lacking proper heat I feel compelled to pass this item along. Monday, November 16, at 7:00 p.m. NAG (Neighbors Allied For Good Growth) will be conducting a Heat Season Workshop. The purpose of this gathering (lest it is not obvious) is to raise awareness of this city’s heating regulations and outline the rights and avenues of recourse tenants have when dealing with non-compliant landlords. Those of you are tired of being cold and want to know what you can do about it should make it a point to attend.
NAG Heat Season Workshop
Monday November 16, 2009, 7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
110 Kent Avenue, Floor 2
Brooklyn, New York 11211
NOTE: You must RSVP for this event. This can be done by calling (718) 384-2241, or sending an email to ryan (at) nag-brooklyn (dot) org.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: The Anti-Plate
This is what I beheld when I arrived at the junk shop today. It is a plate. With a hole in it. Hanging from a nail.
I don’t know why someone would do this. Then again, after dealing with a man haggling over a solitary “adult” playing card I have come to realize I do not know a great many things. This is turning out to be a very strange day.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint De-gentrification Watch: Six of Spades
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Today I walked to the junk shop with a pervasive sense of dread. Larry da Junkman needed to run an errand and I was to preside over the establishment for a little while. This does not happen very often, but I have been “manager” there enough times to know something really weird will happen. This neighborhood’s more— how should we say— special denizens seem to have a sixth sense as to when I will be the ringleader of the circus that is 1001 Manhattan Avenue. Not unlike cicadas they spend most of their time in a dormant state. That, is until I am left to manage the store. Then it’s time to spring forth from their little chrysalises and herald the coming of Greenpoint glory to yours truly. Today was no exception.
Shortly after concluding a spirited debate about Greenpoint gentrification with my co-worker John (he said Greenpoint has lost its magic)Â and I (who vehemently disagreed) were greeted by a rather jovial old fellow. He asked John if he “worked here” and John said “yes”. That was easy enough; the stereo was playing bluegrass and everything seemed to be alright in the Garden Spot of the Universe. Seemed. Then this chap started tap dancing. Being amused (because it was amusing) we laughed and went back to work. And he went back to shopping.
It didn’t take this man (who I have named Mr. Six of Spades) long to find what he was looking for: a solitary nudie playing card. The six of spades. It was not a cutesy one like the one gracing this post. This one was of Russian origin and, um, more “explicit”. Someone had inscribed “To Max” on the back in ball point pen. He must have been a very special guy to deserve this.
How much this?
Mister Six asked. I, throwing etiquette aside, answered a question with a question:
You want to buy this playing card?
Mister Six answered to the affirmative and I called John over:
You’re a man, what’s the price for one naked lady playing card?
He gave me a WTF look and said:
Twenty five cents.
Mister Six rummages through his pocket and pulls out (I am not making this up): two pennies and a button. This was his “counter-offer”. I stood firm:
Listen, this card is 25 cents. That’s a bargain. We charge a dollar for the trumps.
With this, lo and behold, a crisp new dollar came out of his pocket! I made change and with a “god bless you” Mister Six of Spades was on his way to, I would presume, enjoy an evening of solitaire.
That, John…
I said pointing at the front door. He nodded.
…is why Greenpoint will NEVER be Park Slope.
We spent the next five minutes working in silence trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.
Miss Heather
Miss G Train…
Filed under: 11101, 11206, 11211, 11222, 11237, Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, Clinton Hill, Crosstown Local, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Ft. Greene, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Kensington, Long Island City, Navy Yard, Park Slope, Queens, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
it could be you!
Or not. The City Reliquary (who is hosting this contest) writes:
Come watch the crowning of our “Miss G Train†LIVE at the City Reliquary backyard, with refreshments and entertainment on Nov. 19th 7-10PM
*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G*G* CONTESTANTS:
Thanks for your interest in entering the “Miss G Train Pageantâ€.In this contest, you can make up your own rules! Be creative in presenting yourself as the best candidate for “Miss G Trainâ€! Tell us what you think being “Miss G Train†is all about, and why you fit that description to a “Gâ€.
Please email your description along with a PHOTO to: missgtrain (at) cityreliquary (dot) org by Monday Nov. 16th for consideration.
Include a phone number we can reach you at prior to the competition. There is no minimum or maximum word count for your descriptive entry. Your descriptive entry will be read to the audience and judges during the pageant. Use your written statement to tell everyone why you should be wearing the sash on stage that night! (Portions of your submission may be used for media requests, but all personal information will remain private.)
Costume choice is up to you at the big event, and will be considered as part of your presentation. Ballroom Gown, Hipster Vogue, Commuter Chic, its up to YOU! Also, consider submitting some choice music to accompany your runway walk (you can bring an iPod cued to your music or send a request to our DJ in advance). You are in charge of your overall presentation, and the right soundtrack may just convince our celebrity judges that YOU make the best candidate!
FINALISTS will be informed of their status by 12:00 noon on Thursday Nov 19th.
Email in advance for any additional questions and GOOD LUCK, competition is RUNNING ON or close to ON SCHEDULE!*
Given the City Reliquary’s choice of “cover girl” for their solicitation I have to wonder what demographic they’re appealing to: nubile, newbie hotties/slummers or hardcore Crosstowners? I think Miss G train should sport the qualities of the subway line she will represent:
- Highly erratic
- Dysfunctional
- Capricious
- Weird
- Four cars short of a load
- And, on occasion, downright GROSS
Get busy fellow G trainers— and you know who you are!
Miss Heather
*Does this mean if I submit my entry a day late it will count?
P.S.: What about about a Mr. Crosstown Local? I can think of a number of candidates offhand— none of whom you would want to see naked. Methinks I’ll have to make this happen!
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