Urban Artifact: Special Crosstown Local Edition

Puttin on the Ritz NYS

Taken June 15, 2014.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: I <3 NY

I have been meaning to touch upon the subject of “ironic” t-shirt wearing for sometime. This is because it is becoming much more commonplace on Manhattan Avenue. First it was a 20-something with a great many facial piercings wearing a shirt which read “I was country when country wasn’t cool.” Fail. Then a fellow who works at a bodega on my block (which does an impressive amount of business selling Baltika malt liquor) wearing a shirt “You are pretty because I am drunk” That one I give two enthusiastic thumbs up. This morning it was a young lady sporting a shirt which read “Titties and Beer”. No just no, but hell no on that one. Then came the piece de resistance: this.

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Starbucks Cup NYS

As you can see this fellow is blind. I am not sure how a I “heart” NY shirt came into his possession, but clearly it has. The cup he is using (so as to solicit change) is from the Starbucks across the street. Is this funny? Only in a certain “gallows humor” kind of way. If I had to pick one photo to exemplify the dismal legacy that was our former mayor’s (especially in terms of homelessness) the first one would be it. In any case,we are rapidly approaching the time of year when many of our less fortunate neighbors, having consumed spirits, feel the ill effects of the heat. If you see something along these lines, gentle readers, say something to 311. Have a heart…

 

 

Presenting “If It Ain’t Fixed, Break It”

As many of you have undoubtedly noticed the bloggage has been spare/sporadic of late. There are several reasons for this:

1. I have been out and about enjoying the sights, sounds and of course smells this fine city has to offer— between the rain storms anyway.
2. My little snow globe enterprise has taken off. Not only have I sold four of them, but making them is so darned fun— which brings me to why I am writing this post. I have recently completed a real doozy. Without further ado, here it is!

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I do not think an explanation is necessary. Anyone who rides the Crosstown Local— especially during rush hour— can attest that this representation is not terribly far off the mark. Well I suppose the goats, pigs and geese were a flight of fancy by yours truly— but I think we can all agree their presence enhances the final product considerably. Same goes for the 12-15 loose souls who float around this snow globe. I have no idea how many “little people” inhabit this dystopia. This is rather apropos as the MTA does not seem to know that the G has a serious ridership issue. One which, if not addressed soon and in a realistic fashion, will only get worse once the waterfront is developed. Of course to simply place all the blame on the MTA is to let our elected officials/”public servants” off the hook. They too have their share of responsibility to shoulder. Let us not forget this.

Moving forward I believe a “G Train Sprint” snow globe is in order. I envision horde of patrons running for that last car. Will they make it? Methinks we all know the answer to that question. Naturally I will share its progress here and on flickr. In closing I would like to give a big ol’ shout out to fellow Greenpointer and all around cool lass Jilly Ballistic for the title (because she was the one who coined it!). Thanks!

P.S.: This one goes out to Community Board Chairman Christopher Olechowski who, upon exiting the Swinging Sixties Seniors Center as ex-Chairman Tuesday night, had this to say:

If you don’t like the development you can just move out of the neighborhood.

Right back at ya, bro. It is just this kind of “I have gotten mine so the rest of you can go fuck yourself” thinking that has made north Brooklyn what it is today. Good riddance.

From The New York Shitty Inbox

Per a tipster.

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It would appear Brooklyn Industries is either unaware that GWAPP ain’t what it used to be— or is shilling the same old t-shirt with the same old premise:

We fought the power plants and won!

If GWAPP was/is “winning”, why did this come to pass? And why does someone charged with appointing new board members behave in this manner? (start watching at 5;00)

I harbor a downright Darwinian attitude when it comes to “community orgs”. Simply put: if GWAPP is failing it is because the leadership has failed the community. GWAPP failed, shuffled the deck and now GWAPP 2.0. (which should not be confused with its predecessor), in its infinite wisdom, is going to charge former board members to appoint new ones. Exactly how this is going to create a different outcome is a mystery to yours truly. In any case GWAPP or whatever one wants to call it) is a one trick pony. They fall back on the power plant fight because, quite frankly, that’s all have.

And of course my personal favorite:

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You gotta love this kind of hypocrisy. Be sure to thank GWAPP— Adam Perlmutter, Esquire— in particular, when they start piledriving at Greenpoint Landing. That should work wonders for the air quality ereabotus. Is this worth a t-shirt? Really?

P.S.: Melinda Katz, you took a shit on my community. I have returned the favor— via a snow globe!

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Urban Artifact: 601 Days & Counting!

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It’s been awhile since I have checked in on my favorite urban artifact/Greenpoint citizen: Jailbear. Today I opted to swing by and see what’s up. It did not disappoint.

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He has been presented two new offerings: a lovely candy dish and souvenir spoon holder from Hawaii.

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They’re very nice.

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Long live Jailbear!

The Word On The Street: Special Banker Street Edition

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Taken June 11, 2014.

Urban Artifact: Street Soup

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From Manhattan Avenue.

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: What Is Wrong With This Picture?

June 7, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, WTF 

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Given the East River Ferry has not serviced Greenpoint since February 13th— and probably will not for the foreseeable future— I find this ad copy a mite bit troubling.  I predict a number of “foamers” being not the least bit pleased with being “detoured” to Williamsburg so as to be shuttled back to India Street and West Street (and from there, having to find this event). My (tongue in cheek) advice: take a cab instead.

Let’s all try to be good neighbors/”hosts” and help these folks find their way to their planned destination. By their fanny packs, visors and rather large cameras ye shall know them…

From The New York Shitty Inbox

A very nice fellow named Matt writes:

Hey Miss Heather. Sorry for grabbing your contact from the internet but I wanted to tell you of a developing story. There’s a factory/warehouse in Greenpoint that has 10-20 cats and kittens that they’re removing to the ACC (Animal Care & Control), which means certain death for these poor lil’ guys. The problem began when they welded a metal grate over the entrance/exit the cats use and when neighbors noticed little kitten faces peeking from behind the grate, assumed it was two kittens who had accidentally been welded in a crawlspace. According to the factory the grate was put up to keep new cats from coming in – these cats have all lived their entire lives inside being fed by staff.

Their problem is unmanageable for them and they feel that they don’t really have any other options. Unfortunately they were given info on how to humanely trap and rescue these cats but the person who was going to do this never followed up on it and the situation got worse. A group of people from the cat rescue community has stepped in to try to help w/ this situation but the factory has traps all over the warehouse and we can’t keep up w/ the amount of cats they’re trapping. They unfortunately began sending to the ACC yesterday.

I thought this story might be of interest to the local Greenpoint community and wondered if you were willing to blog about it. Please let me know.

One other thing – they owners don’t necessarily seem like bad guys. Like they actually seem to regret the ACC direction but feel they don’t really have another choice and need to do what has to be done. Just wanted to mention that so you know they’re not like “lets murder kittens!!!

Duly posted— and understood! If anyone knows of a home wherein these feral furry ones can be relocated please contact Matt via email cutler9 (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks!

New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: And Then There Were Two

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From Huntington to Greenpoint NYS

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As taken today, June 4th.  It would appear now we have two rather large vessels “parked” at the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch. They are neither kayaks nor are they being “launched”. As you can see gentle readers it would appear one watercraft is, how shall we say, “inhabited”?* Isn’t refreshing to see what precious public park space we have in north “Point being pressed into service in such a manner? Of course the “authorities” have their fair share of blame for allowing this to happen (and not repairing the fence for that matter). Straight up: if you can afford a boat such as either of these, you can afford to pay to have it moored legally. It really is that simple.

*Exactly why anyone would want to live where delights such as this

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are the commonplace is a mystery to me. Anyone?

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