New York Shitty Day Starter: Nothing’s Sacred

March 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Subway, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn

Inasmuch as I hate to admit it there is a great deal of veracity to be found in the above cynic’s comment. Everything is for sale in our fair city. Whether one wants to sell or not is immaterial. It’s simply of matter of money, political influence and legal chicanery. We’re the easiest city money can buy.

There are many— religious types mostly— who consider New York City to be the whore of Babylon. They may very well be correct. Whores are capitalists in the purest sense. They do it for the money. New Yorkers do it for the money. Our god is the dollar and time is money.

What has come to pass at Atlantic Yards has reduced our fair city from being a whore to a slut. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free— or better yet at tax payer’s expense?

Miss Heather

P.S.: This post goes out to Marty Markowitz who said and I quote (from Curbed’s gritty firsthand account of this farce):

Sorry about the noise outside. Obviously disgruntled Knicks fans.

Tool.

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Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: For The Love Of Robert Pattinson

March 14, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crosstown Local, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn

This Robert Pattinson guy must really be something. There’s no way, nowhere, NO HOW I’d ever affix my kisser to anything located in the New York City subway system, much less the G train.*

Miss Heather

*Save perhaps Benecio Del Toro. In person only. Even then I’d insist upon precautionary disinfectant baby wipes.

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New York Shitty Day Ender: For The Birds

March 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11206, 11211, 11222, 11237, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn

Gardner Avenue

Wythe Avenue

Metropolitan Avenue

Hope Street

Roebling Street

McGuinness Boulevard

Miss Heather

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New York Shitty Day Starter: AUSNY For The (m)Asses

March 12, 2010 ·
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn

This festive display of asswipes hails from a Graham Avenue 99 Cent Store. This product, Ausny (which, it has been noted takes simple transposition of letters to spell (“Anusy”), purports not only to be “ultra soft” and “3 ply” but is also “sterilized”! What I want to know is how the merry folk who grace said package factor into this? Are they the humanoid equivalent to the Dow scrubbing bubbles? Methinks I’ll field test it on the Mister and find out!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, March 12, 2010: It has been brought to my attention by a chap named Larry that the maker of this product also produces green tea flavored condoms. This begs the question as to when the wizards at Ausny will roll out green-tea infused toilet paper? North Brooklyn’s buttholes only deserve the very best!

P.S.: When I mentioned to the Mister that I photographed “a festive bunch of asswipes”. He assumed I meant hipsters. I was, in fact, speaking in reference to toilet paper. Picking on hipsters is boring. Assholes come in all ages and from every imaginable socio-economic background. On the other hand, toilet paper packaging that looks like an entire legion of McCarren Park Pool partiers are eager to wipe my ass. Well, that is something I can get behind!

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