Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Ender: 14 Bayard Street
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Abjectecture, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Plagiarism, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
(Or: Rapunzel Special)
Rounding out today’s postage I leave you with this absurdity from 14 Bayard Street (the final addition— and thank god for that— to Karl Fischer Row). Me (to my friend Triborough):
It’s pretty impressive that this building isn’t even inhabited yet, but the balconies are already rusted.
Pre-rusted so you don’t have to!
He replied. To wit I pointed out the obvious:
I wonder what is up with that top balcony? Is this like in Albania where they used to simply leave the top unfinished with rebar sticking out so they can come back and add another floor later? We must look at the front of this building!
And so we did.
Let me guess: the owner of this building has a friend in the balcony business. It went something like this:
You want balconies? I’ll give you balconies! Meet me under the BQE at 3:00 a.m. I have a truckload of ’em!
To wit Triborough presciently replied:
Maybe it is like the spare tire for a car? If one breaks they have one ready to replace it?
Indeed. This is what happens when you “design” and build your King’s crap by the yard. The Balkan balconies of yesteryear can be yours in Williamsburg today, dear readers— for a price. I can hardly wait until this gem hits the market!
UPDATE, December 21, 2010: It would appear that Fox News wasted no time sending out a television crew to “get the scoop” on this most important news item. Read it and weep.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This building has a “Partial Stop Work Order” on it— but not for this non-balcony!
Point here, click and see for yourself!
Greenburg Photos Du Jour: For The Love Of Big Brother
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Today I took my buddy Triborough for a quick jaunt around points Green and beyond. As is usually the case, it did not disappoint.
It was at the beginning of our journey (on Noble Street) that we encountered Jerzy (AKA: the guy who lives in the pick-up truck on that toy-strewn lot on Franklin Street). He was engaged in a discussion of some importance with a fellow Garden Spotter.
Who watches the watchmen?
His jacket asks.
Me (playing tour guide):
Note how the family is giving Jerzy a wide berth of passage. This is a sign of high status in Greenpoint.
And then there was what we found towards the end of our trek. It hails form North 7 Street and makes for a strange— yet curiously appropriate— conclusion to our afternoon.
There’s a lot more going on here than initially meets the eye. This is why I carry camera with me at all times!
Miss Heather
‘Tis The Season, Part II: Metropolitan Avenue
Although I am trying to stick to posting one Tis The Season item a day, I felt this item simply could not wait until tomorrow. There is something about the combination of Bing Crosby crooning and the strains of truck traffic I find curiously compelling.
Miss Heather
Urban Fur: Special Crosstown Local Edition
One never knows who— or what— she will meet on the G trains nowadays. So you can imagine my curiosity when I spied something with whiskers and tail out of the corner of my eye. I went over for a closer look.
Me (to child on the left): Is that a gerbil in your hand?
Child on the left: Yes.
Me: What is its name?
Child on the left: Ginger Junior.
Me: What is your name?
Child on the left: Ginger.
Me (to the child on the right): What is your gerbil’s name?
Child on the right: Fishy Junior.
Me: Let me guess, your name is “Fishy”?
And indeed it was! Hey, at least these cute little furry ones weren’t rats. God only knows the G train has a plentiful supply of those already. Perhaps we should hook these guys (or gals) up with Edie?
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Skillman Avenue
Filed under: 11211, Advanced Life Forms, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
If this is any indication I’d hazard to guess that not only Santa, but his little helpers and Santacon have already visited this house.
Damn.
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Fashion Watch: Pretty In Pink
Today yours truly went for a photo walk with a good friend of mine: algul siento. Although it was a most enjoyable jaunt it was cold. Bitter cold. However, when we hopped on the G train at Broadway this woman’s fabulous fettle (and attitude to match) warmed us up considerably. After I took the above photograph this most stylish lass said:
Please don’t make me look fat… it’s all skirt!
Inasmuch as I can ascertain— and not that it really matters, mind you— it was.
Miss Heather
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