Audience Participation Time: Lipstick on a Pig

December 15, 2009 by missheather
Filed under: 11211, Bloomblight, Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn

I concluded the yesterday’s postage with a rather lengthy screed about derelict construction sites in Williamsburg and our city’s inability and/or unwillingness to police them. As you can probably deduce from said post, I have been stewing over this phenomenon for some time. I will not lie to you: it felt good to finally “get it out”. What’s more, I really enjoyed one of the comments left on the aforementioned post.

Xris of Flatbush Gardener writes:

Itâ€™s not a sidewalk, itâ€™s a promenade.
Itâ€™s not graffito, itâ€™s a fresco.
Itâ€™s not a vacant lot, itâ€™s an atrium.
Itâ€™s not an abandoned foundation, itâ€™s a sunken garden.

The real estate moguls just need to turn that thing around and put lipstick on that pig!

I have given Xris’s proposition considerable thought and have decided that we, the residents of north Brooklyn, should lend a hand in this sterling endeavor. Which brings me to this.

I found this “enhanced beverage” at North 12 Street between Bedford and Driggs Avenue yesterday afternoon. I find many such specimens in north Brooklyn— usually at failed construction sites. They are known in some circles as “trucker bombs”. Per the Urban Dictionary:

A plastic container (could be a milk jug or a water bottle) that a trucker pisses in while he is driving his truck. Then he throws it out of the window so that he does not have to stop to relieve the call of nature. Can also be a plastic bag and feces may be involved. “Don’t get hit with that trucker-bomb”

This terminology may suit middle-America but it simply too pedestrian for the upscale haven that is Williamsburg (which, it should be noted, has reduced truck traffic). A neighborhood where a one bedroom apartment can run you anywhere from $2,000 a month and up deserves better. So far the best re-branding I have come up with for this human by-product is “McCarren Kombucha”. Certainly a better name can be found. This is where you come in: can you think of a snappy new name for this urban artifact? If so, please leave it in the comments.

Thanks!

Miss Heather